Is it ADHD, avoidance,, doomscrolling, addiction to caffeine, or am I just being lazy? [View all]
Finally got the kids out and gor my ""peace" back...milked to for the weekend and just rested a lot and kept the tv off, maybe music but very gentle...
Hurt more yesterday, like my whole body and it's probably also got to do with this crazy wind. I'm on the southern edge of the Nor Cal wave of weather, so not much water or snow, lots of wind for the last 48 hours. That;s part if why I've kept it quiet, to just stay inside and listen to it whipe and roll over the mtns and valleys...
I;m totally avoiding my 3 chapters of text and an 1 1/2 hr movie about end of life care, hospitals and hospice etc...
Both my parents dies in 2022 & 2023 and it's still very raw. We made the decision with mom conscious enough to know what was going on when we said no to a feeding tube and just make her comfortable. She was "locked in" and she did NOT want that pretend life in a bed... no way. It took her 11 days to let go, she was still in and out of coonsciousness because they didnt wanna give her "too much" but she has to suffer through her organs giving out and not having food or anything but a dropper full of some drugs etc... it was horrific.
He stroke was catastrophic, total parallization on the rt side,no ability to speak. Right then, they culd have given her a cocktail and we could have said good bye and given her that doignity...instead it was drawn out and the nurses were the only ones there by the end...and I feel guilty for not being able to sit that vigil either...
Anyway, who needs therapy when we are taking upper division religion and anthropilogy? yikes.
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