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Marthe48

(19,914 posts)
17. Maybe this is a good place to put this
Thu Dec 26, 2024, 11:37 AM
Dec 26

I got along with new neighbors, even though I didn't have much in common with them. But then, last spring, they cut down 7 healthy, mature pines along the edge of their property by the road. When they did that, I realized that I had nothing in common with them whatsoever, and stopped talking to them, totally iced them out. Had the trees been in the way, had there been wires, had the trees been dying, I would have understood. But they built a carport beside the trees before they cut them down, and there was plenty of room. They have 5 cars for 3 people and park them in the carport, the drive and the front yard. The 2 car garage is full of junk. Instead of harvesting the wood, the removal company ran every bit of the trees through a chipper and hauled it away.

I grew up in a family who loved and nurtured trees, near Cleveland, Ohio, which has one of the best urban park systems in the U.S. When I was an adult, I planted trees every year that I could and joined The Arbor Day Foundation. Seeing an entire habitat destroyed, during nesting season no less, hit me hard. Every time I go out of my door, I see the ugly row of stumps where trees stood since we moved there in 1989. I think the saddest thing I ever saw was a squirrel sitting on one of the stumps a few days after the trees were gone.

The woman put a gift bag in my door Christmas Eve, and texted me it was there. I don't know if she thought a gesture would fix things. I want nothing from them and left the bag in the door overnight. I thought a lot about what I wanted to do. I was going to my daughter's house early Christmas day, so I took the bag over and set it behind one of the stone pillars at the end of their drive, with no comment. Even if I don't want to neighbor, I didn't want to dump this out on a holiday. Later, when I was at my daughter's she sent an angry text. I think they finally understand that I'm done with them. It doesn't matter to me if they know why.

I didn't mention this to my kids or anyone until now. This is not usual behavior for me and I am struggling with all of it. I think I followed the first part of the quote Lucky Charms shared, probably except for this will stay silent about the hurt I feel.

Recommendations

12 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

You don't always get a medal for confronting it. Renew Deal Dec 26 #1
You may not get a medal but at least you tried. n/t defacto7 Dec 26 #4
To what end? LuckyCharms Dec 26 #5
I'm sad for your situation. defacto7 Dec 26 #10
There are times to walk away as well. LuckyCharms Dec 26 #11
Something I learned the hard way... Think. Again. Dec 26 #2
Well, there goes the turning the other cheek idea. n/t defacto7 Dec 26 #6
Sometimes when you turn the other cheek... LuckyCharms Dec 26 #8
True n/t defacto7 Dec 26 #12
Thats what i tell family, turning the other cheek only got me beat up. txwhitedove Dec 26 #13
That's very true debm55 Dec 26 #15
Um, that's exactly the implication of the expression. royable Dec 26 #25
Right. That's the original meaning of Christ's teachings... LuckyCharms Dec 26 #27
and again and again and again. debm55 Dec 26 #30
Absolutely. Think. Again. Dec 26 #9
I think that turning the other cheek is too often wnylib Dec 30 #43
Perfect. n/t LuckyCharms Dec 26 #7
That is a mich shrter ans sweeter way to say it soldierant Dec 26 #37
Amen!!! Demovictory9 Dec 26 #3
We cut off both sides. They are not happy with us. onecaliberal Dec 26 #14
Best bet is to walk away and stay away. You won't get an award but your life will be much more peaceful. camartinwv Dec 26 #16
Quiet leaving or ghosting. erronis Dec 26 #18
Not me. I take no... littlemissmartypants Dec 26 #24
Maybe this is a good place to put this Marthe48 Dec 26 #17
I'm glad you're letting us know what happened and the grief it caused. erronis Dec 26 #20
Thank you for understanding Marthe48 Dec 26 #21
Marthe48 that is fine if the people you are dealing with are somewhat sane. I made the mistake of sending my family a debm55 Dec 26 #33
Wait... Are you saying your mom (and your brother) expect... electric_blue68 Dec 26 #36
But my religion taught me to obey my parents? They gave me life.". Demobrat Dec 26 #38
Sorry , Marthe48 I didn't mean to post to you. Dont know what to do now. As I meant to post to LuckyCharms. I am sorry. debm55 Dec 26 #34
Say it often and loud! Abuse is destroying this world, individually and globally! Clouds Passing Dec 26 #19
This is like "History will not be kind to so and so...", once we are dead we don't care what happens because we don't Escurumbele Dec 26 #22
Legacy mamacita75 Dec 26 #31
We're all abused now... littlemissmartypants Dec 26 #23
Depending, I return in kind Zackzzzz Dec 26 #26
This is true, but you know what else you don't get an award for? BEING hurt in the first place. AZJonnie Dec 26 #28
You know who you sound like, right? ReRe Dec 26 #29
I am not worthy ... AZJonnie Dec 30 #40
Of course you're worthy! ReRe Dec 30 #41
Just curious mamacita75 Dec 26 #32
I had the luxury of 'non-awareness' in formulating my response AZJonnie Dec 30 #42
LuckyCharms post 33 was for you . I mistakenly posted to Marthe48 debm55 Dec 26 #35
I've had certain sentences that have resonated or spoken to me that I took notice Niagara Dec 27 #39
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