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History of Feminism
Showing Original Post only (View all)"Feminists are not responsible for educating men" [View all]
I would say that "Feminists are not responsible for educating anyone" ... but then when women approach feminists for for information, you can safely assume they're not doing it with the intention of arguing and debating and 'devil's advocating' everything you say.
As a vocal feminist with many intelligent, lovely male friends, Im often met with indignance when I choose not to engage with them about feminism. Surely if I really cared about changing our culture of discrimination and inequality, I should be trying to educate men? Isnt that an activists job? Shouldnt feminists be grateful when men want to bounce questions off us, because it shows that they are at least trying to understand?
Its both exhausting and diversionary being expected to hash out the basics with men who havent bothered to think about their own privilege before. Men are not entitled to expect feminists to educate them. Real change will only happen when men accept that the burden of education is on them, not on women.
...
To borrow the analogy of another woman:
Its as if you have walked into a postgraduate mathematics seminar, yelling
Hey, how can you even use imaginary numbers anyway if theyre not real?
When someone rather distractedly points you to a first-year text-book in the corner, you leaf through the first couple of pages half-heartedly for a few seconds and say
I dont agree with some of the definitions in here and anyway you havent answered my question. Doesnt anyone want to have a discussion with me?!!
This incredulity is usually delivered with a sound telling-off for being sarcastic, unreasonable, illogical, ungrateful and bitter. Now, as a woman raised under patriarchy I am socialised to respond to mens praise and approval. Having suffered the consequences of mens disapproval, conflict is counter-intuitive to me. Its tempting to give in to the desire to be recognised as a good feminist who takes the time to explain things in a polite, fun, sassy way. But heres the kicker: polite feminism not only doesnt work, it is actually self-defeating.
...
http://cwinterfox.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/feminists-are-not-responsible-for-educating-men/
Its both exhausting and diversionary being expected to hash out the basics with men who havent bothered to think about their own privilege before. Men are not entitled to expect feminists to educate them. Real change will only happen when men accept that the burden of education is on them, not on women.
...
To borrow the analogy of another woman:
Its as if you have walked into a postgraduate mathematics seminar, yelling
Hey, how can you even use imaginary numbers anyway if theyre not real?
When someone rather distractedly points you to a first-year text-book in the corner, you leaf through the first couple of pages half-heartedly for a few seconds and say
I dont agree with some of the definitions in here and anyway you havent answered my question. Doesnt anyone want to have a discussion with me?!!
This incredulity is usually delivered with a sound telling-off for being sarcastic, unreasonable, illogical, ungrateful and bitter. Now, as a woman raised under patriarchy I am socialised to respond to mens praise and approval. Having suffered the consequences of mens disapproval, conflict is counter-intuitive to me. Its tempting to give in to the desire to be recognised as a good feminist who takes the time to explain things in a polite, fun, sassy way. But heres the kicker: polite feminism not only doesnt work, it is actually self-defeating.
...
http://cwinterfox.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/feminists-are-not-responsible-for-educating-men/
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+1. that was my immediate thought. and all while i was reading thru. only to see...
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#2
I've learned quite a lot from Feminists. I (don't believe) I was ever anti-woman or ....
BlueJazz
Jul 2014
#4
By telling women they have to educate men - it's just foisting off more work onto women.
calimary
Jul 2014
#13
your comment about the DOORS was gold. that says it all. the willful ignorance even when given a
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#127
i am going upstairs and talk to my teen boys. not about the condoms. their father is very
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#126
That's a VERY good point. How is the division of labor in most people's houses?
calimary
Jul 2014
#131
"Why should someone who is deeply informed about any issue try to formulate a capsule version..."
Android3.14
Jul 2014
#29
Is it the responsibility of people of color to educate white people about racism?
Luminous Animal
Jul 2014
#28
a step further, i have an example personally with our gay community. but, when women of color do
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#128
Seems to me that there are a lot of eerie parallels in other realms of discussion.
Jackpine Radical
Jul 2014
#12
HHS author sounds like someone who sucks at persuasion so tries to blame others for her lack of
Township75
Jul 2014
#14
The fact that you are an "address the whole problem kind of guy" is not really germaine. The
Squinch
Jul 2014
#34
Political will and personal interaction, though related, are two different things. And as I have
Squinch
Jul 2014
#44
"The only effective way to make someone stop being entitled is to stop indulging the entitlement."
redqueen
Jul 2014
#46
Another facet of the gem that is sexual equality that should be considered.
Half-Century Man
Jul 2014
#22
A man is not a feminist if he has to ask a feminist to explain feminism to him.
Luminous Animal
Jul 2014
#37
Somehow he just falls into feminism? Or born from the head of Athena unsullied by human society.
Luminous Animal
Jul 2014
#41
if a man calls himself a feminist i am not gonna argue. i have been burned too often by the "male
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#57
I am OK with a man asking me what feminism is. I am not OK with a man derailing
Squinch
Jul 2014
#45
I have learned in this thread that we aren't doing everything at once, and therefore our actions are
Squinch
Jul 2014
#54
Civility, please. This is a sanctuary group for feminists and this post is a clear attack on
hlthe2b
Jul 2014
#82
The responses in this thread include very good examples of just what the article is talking about.
Squinch
Jul 2014
#36
Veilex, as in my post to you upstream, I suspect you do not realize that this is a safe haven group
hlthe2b
Jul 2014
#83
"I suspect you do not realize that this is a safe haven group"- Admittedly I did not...
Veilex
Jul 2014
#86
It's as if we ordered this one up to illustrate what the OP is talking about. We must be magic!
Squinch
Jul 2014
#81
Where was it that you learned not to treat men like a second class? Did you learn that by requiring
Squinch
Jul 2014
#94
And PS: Think about doing that. Think about saying to a man, "I require that you explain to me
Squinch
Jul 2014
#96
speaking for myself ... I am also NOT responsible for educating women either. n/t
Tuesday Afternoon
Jul 2014
#91
Again, you completely disregard my LIVED experience, as a woman, to make whatever point
Sheldon Cooper
Jul 2014
#106
why wouldnt it be called out as "being played" since often and continuously it is true here on du?
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#108
look at ALL the time women have wasted in this thread trying to "educate" you on educating men on
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#113
you are so right on. i read this morning and spent time visualizing. to the extent
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#130
And in a safe haven group, we should not have to constantly entertain demands that
Sheldon Cooper
Jul 2014
#110
Reread the OP to get a sense of where the frustration comes from and try, TRY,
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#115
so... basically, reiterating. you will NOT consider what others are saying. the point is....
seabeyond
Jul 2014
#118