Etiquette and protocol

[no_hypocrisy]

2. Do what you believe is "the right thing".

No memorial planned? You do it and bring together people who loved your cousin and then have a kick-ass wake.

My own experience: my cousin's husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. She was left financially bereft. The two brothers of her husband wanted a Catholic mass. Her husband made her promise no church.

She asked me what to do. Now, I'm an atheist, but I'm also a pragmatist. Her BILs offered to pay for funeral home, the coffin, the Mass, the burial, AND the Repast if they could have their Mass. I told her that Steve was dead and wouldn't know the difference. Take the money and be gracious. And she did.

And as an aside, my dear friend passed during Covid. Her memorial was 2 years later (actually three years ago this week-end). Timing doesn't count when the heart is concerned.