I've had losses before, but none so devastating as my Grandma

[SheltieLover]

16. Healing vibes on the way to you, Coventina. 💓💓💓

I am so sorry for your loss.

Grieving is hard work, physically, as well as mentally & emotionally.

Please remember to sleep, nurture yourself with healthy food, & breathe - deep diaphragmatic breathing to stay centered.

I like the post above suggesting you volunteer at a dog rescue or a shelter.

What is your husband's objection to adopting a pupper?

Some ideas: when you're angry, punch a pillow or take ice cubes outside & throw them as hard as you can at the driveway or sidewalk. Excellent way to release that hurt & anger you are feeling.

Make a memory box or a shrine to your grandma, and include all the things thaf were special to her and things you shared and enjoyed together. You can do something similar by making a collage out of pictures cut or torn from magazines which depict things you enjoyed together.

Finger paint. Yup. But know the fluidity of the paint will likely get those healing tears flowing.

Buy a block of clay & knead it with water. Same effect.

Have you contacted a hospice for bereavement therapy? They are specially trained to help people to resolve their grief and I strongly urge you to give it a try.

Most hospice organizations will provide 13 months of free bereavement therapy to support you through the year of firsts - birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc.

If you would like help finding a hospice near you, pm me a location & I'll do my best to help you to find one for you.

I interned at one in bereavement, years ago & it was a very very valuable experience because life is a series of small & big losses that often knock the wind out of our sails.

The most common complaint clients had, & it was nearly universal among all clients, was that they thought they were "going crazy" because they heard, felt, smelled, saw, or otherwise sensed the presence of their disembodied loved one with them.

I would always ask them if they were to depart the mortal coil, would they choose to stick around & look after their loved ones or float off into oblivion somewhere.

Despite the trappings of religious indoctrination, everyone said they would stick near to their lived ones. I could see the lightbulb go off in most people's eyes - sort of a sense of relief that they were given permission to think independently & accept that their loved on was not really "gone."

If she was in hospice, talk to those who cared for her and especially those who were with her when she transitioned to spirit. Those hospice workers frequently have beautiful stories to tell. Truly! And they will be glad to talk to you.

Please know grief knows no timeline & the stages of grief are not linear. You may be accepting one day, angry the next & in denial another day, etc. It's a matter of processing what you've experienced.

Focus on healing your heart, Coventina. I know it feels like a part of it has been ripped from your chest.

Please feel free to pm if I can help you in any way.

Hugs.