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crimycarny

(1,671 posts)
18. Trying to get there
Tue Mar 1, 2022, 11:31 PM
Mar 2022

But it’s only been a little over a month.

I did have a dream on the one month anniversary of his death. I had been begging him to come to me in a dream to let me know he was ok. I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife. Right now I’m super cynical. But that night I dreamed he was sitting across from me on the couch. Sitting in his favorite pajama pants that he likes to wear all the time. He was relaxed and had a smile on his face. We were talking like we often did...relaxed and just shooting the breeze.

He was telling me how much anxiety he had suffered his whole life and how much I had helped him through those times. Then he mentioned a specific time where he was in a VERY dark place and I had pulled him out of it. He didn’t say what that specific event was, but it was clear he meant he almost committed suicide and I had done something to help him feel hope. Then he said “You were my Angel of Light”. That last phrase stuck in my head when I woke up because my son was an atheist (or so he said), and I was on the fence. Not totally ruling out the idea of a higher power, but pretty darn skeptical. So neither one of us would have used the terminology “Angel of Light”.

I try to remember that dream but it’s still hard to not let guilt creep in.

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So sorry to hear this! SheltieLover Mar 2022 #1
The last few years have been especially difficult ones for empaths. blm Mar 2022 #2
Biden mentioned mental health and young people in his speech. applegrove Mar 2022 #3
Doesn't surprise me vercetti2021 Mar 2022 #4
Yes...it is absolutely horrible crimycarny Mar 2022 #9
I'm so sorry about your son vercetti2021 Mar 2022 #12
Thank you so much for sharing crimycarny Mar 2022 #15
Sorry it took me this long to respond vercetti2021 Mar 2022 #19
What a loss in your heart, your son's death. I am so sad for you. LizBeth Mar 2022 #5
My son hid it well crimycarny Mar 2022 #13
But... LizBeth Mar 2022 #16
Here is a huge something. LizBeth Mar 2022 #17
Trying to get there crimycarny Mar 2022 #18
Sorry to hear that... orwell Mar 2022 #6
Exactly crimycarny Mar 2022 #10
The really kind young people seem to be most at risk. benpollard Mar 2022 #7
100% agree crimycarny Mar 2022 #14
I'm sorry for the loss of your son, and now your daughter's friend. Bluethroughu Mar 2022 #8
We are living in end of times. So sorry for your loss. Groundhawg Mar 2022 #11
Checking in to see how you ChazII Mar 2022 #20
Today's a tough day crimycarny Mar 2022 #21
The stress level in the world is getting to the most tender hearted among us. TigressDem Mar 2022 #22
Thank you crimycarny Mar 2022 #23
You're welcome. TigressDem Mar 2022 #24
We are so sorry kozar Mar 2022 #25
How awful CountAllVotes Jul 2022 #26
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