Bereavement

ancianita

(39,600 posts)

29. Being a mother, my heart so hurts for you.

Fri Feb 4, 2022, 02:41 PM

Feb 2022

I don't presume to know you, but I feel from what you've said, that you loved him with all your heart.
He knew you loved him.

Our adult children's lives are not within our control. Taking one’s life is not a rational decision; but it was his life, his death. In that moment he just wanted to end his pain. Nothing you said or did would have changed his mind. Forgive yourself.

As you live one hour and day at a time, depending on where you live you'll likely find a support group in your area. Even online (the internet's good side) there are many for those who've lost children to suicide. Online support is more widely accessible and available any time of the day; often the nights are the worst, but help and solace are there. May you find your way through your grief and suffering, though it now seems impossible.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

112 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

My son committed suicide 1/27--he was 25 years old [View all] crimycarny Feb 2022 OP

So sorry for your loss crony. Please take care JohnSJ Feb 2022 #1

OMG, dear, dear crimycarny MLAA Feb 2022 #2

I'm so sorry XanaDUer2 Feb 2022 #3

There is nothing I can say, but my deepest, deepest condolences MerryHolidays Feb 2022 #4

No words. I am so, so sorry. shrike3 Feb 2022 #5

Very well stated. BigmanPigman Feb 2022 #80

Thank you. Unfortunately, that is hard-won knowledge. shrike3 Feb 2022 #96

I know and I understand. BigmanPigman Feb 2022 #97

I am very sorry to hear that. hlthe2b Feb 2022 #6

This is a terrible tragedy. He was on a secret track which vanlassie Feb 2022 #7

... alwaysinasnit Feb 2022 #8

I am so very sorry! Suicide is intensely painful and destructive to families. I still don't know GPV Feb 2022 #9

Oh my god, crimycarny cilla4progress Feb 2022 #10

Deepest Condolences SheltieLover Feb 2022 #11

As someone who has suffered from serious depression iemanja Feb 2022 #12

Exactly. MetalMama Feb 2022 #102

My condolences. Tetrachloride Feb 2022 #13

I am so sorry. LoisB Feb 2022 #14

I am so sorry, crimycarny. brer cat Feb 2022 #15

I'm going to take a chance and say something vlyons Feb 2022 #16

I am so sorry!!!! (((hugs))) samnsara Feb 2022 #17

Can't imagine your pain. A parent's worst nightmare. nt OAITW r.2.0 Feb 2022 #18

How heartbreaking pandr32 Feb 2022 #19

I am so very sorry FirstLight Feb 2022 #20

I'm so very sorry. We have a worry with my son in this way and my wife constantly worries that she's LymphocyteLover Feb 2022 #21

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope that you, your two kids and husband chowder66 Feb 2022 #22

So very very sorry sdfernando Feb 2022 #23

I am so, so sorry Jilly_in_VA Feb 2022 #24

These are my thoughts too. This had been in the making. When the Rep. Raskin story airs, make Karadeniz Feb 2022 #34

I too had this happen and know how you feel at this moment. gibraltar72 Feb 2022 #25

I am so very sorry. Losing a child must be one of life's most difficult challenges. Lonestarblue Feb 2022 #26

I'm so very sorry. cate94 Feb 2022 #27

Oh, my heart hurts for you. JudyM Feb 2022 #28

Being a mother, my heart so hurts for you. ancianita Feb 2022 #29

please be gentle w/yourself markie Feb 2022 #30

I'm so so sorry... CaptainTruth Feb 2022 #31

Condolences, crimycarny sarge43 Feb 2022 #32

My deepest condolences. My sister committed suicide in 2017. sinkingfeeling Feb 2022 #33

You did not give him a reason. SmittyWerben Feb 2022 #35

I am so sorry. Delphinus Feb 2022 #36

Read Jaime Raskin's book. SleeplessinSoCal Feb 2022 #37

+1 ancianita Feb 2022 #40

I was suicidal in my teens, again in my late 20's/early 30's and again during the lock down Native Feb 2022 #45

So pleased you see this as the daunting challenge it is for us all. SleeplessinSoCal Feb 2022 #69

So very, very sorry. Scottie Mom Feb 2022 #38

So, So Very Sorry for your pain and loss. OverBurn Feb 2022 #39

this is so sad. my heart aches for both you and him and the rest of your family orleans Feb 2022 #41

I am so very sorry. mnhtnbb Feb 2022 #42

My deepest sympathies to you & your family. CrispyQ Feb 2022 #43

I am so very sorry, crimycarny. Granny M Feb 2022 #44

So, so sorry, crimycarny. littlemissmartypants Feb 2022 #46

I am so sorry to hear that Deep State Witch Feb 2022 #47

Please believe this: Nothing you did/did not do contributed to this. TygrBright Feb 2022 #48

An excellent and very wise post Orrex Feb 2022 #52

I am terribly sorry for your loss Moostache Feb 2022 #49

I'm just one more person SayItLoud Feb 2022 #50

My dearest crimycarny, I ask that you do something for yourself and your son Native Feb 2022 #51

Giving you a virtual big time hug. My girl BittyJenkins Feb 2022 #53

Dear crimycarny, I'm so sorry for your loss! Please know that suicide prevention fierywoman Feb 2022 #54

I'm so sorry for your loss. Elessar Zappa Feb 2022 #55

So deeply sorry for your loss. evolves Feb 2022 #56

May I walk with you in your sorrow. multigraincracker Feb 2022 #57

I hardly know what to say. barbtries Feb 2022 #58

Thank you for trusting DU to come share your hurt duhneece Feb 2022 #59

crimycarny Skittles Feb 2022 #60

No one is ever responsible for another person's actions. I lost my first son to drowning. appleannie1 Feb 2022 #61

I'm so very sorry stage left Feb 2022 #62

I'm so very, very sorry! ColesCountyDem Feb 2022 #63

I am so sorry for your loss, crimycarney. sheshe2 Feb 2022 #64

I lost my younger brother to suicide. hoosierspud Feb 2022 #65

So sorry for your loss. progressoid Feb 2022 #66

I am so very sorry for your loss, crimycarny. hippywife Feb 2022 #67

You're going to find 1000 reasons you are to blame wryter2000 Feb 2022 #68

So very very sorry crimycarny leighbythesea2 Feb 2022 #70

I'm so sorry. NurseJackie Feb 2022 #71

I'm very sorry for your loss dlk Feb 2022 #72

Very sad... Mike Nelson Feb 2022 #73

I'm so incredibly sorry for your unfathomable loss. mzmolly Feb 2022 #74

Sending you love and peace... PittBlue Feb 2022 #75

I don't think your son died from suicide. I think he died from mental illness Maraya1969 Feb 2022 #76

🤷‍♂️💕 Cha Feb 2022 #77

No words are adequate for your terrible loss. But please know that I am niyad Feb 2022 #78

So sincerely sorry for such overwhelming sadness. Ninga Feb 2022 #79

For the memory of your son, may he rest in peace FakeNoose Feb 2022 #81

Small solace, but you know you have a community here. farmbo Feb 2022 #82

Dear heart Wild blueberry Feb 2022 #83

I had a friend commit suicide DashOneBravo Feb 2022 #84

I am so, so sorry. PoindexterOglethorpe Feb 2022 #85

So sorry. There's no words I can say. 70sEraVet Feb 2022 #86

I am so very sorry UpInArms Feb 2022 #87

So sorry IbogaProject Feb 2022 #88

So sad and awful. I am reaching out with a big hug. flying_wahini Feb 2022 #89

I'm so sorry for your loss NewEnglandAutumn Feb 2022 #90

I am so sorry vercetti2021 Feb 2022 #91

This is terrible. harumph Feb 2022 #92

I am very sorry. I had a roomate who did it, and to be honest, I came very close... NNadir Feb 2022 #93

Nothing i saw will console you nvme Feb 2022 #94

I'm unspeakably sorry for your loss. Something that helped me when I lost a love to suicide: femmedem Feb 2022 #95

I see that multiple people are saying, from various viewpoints, soldierant Feb 2022 #98

So much compassion and wisdom here... 3catwoman3 Feb 2022 #99

I'm SO sorry 😢 live love laugh Feb 2022 #100

My heart is lost, The beasts have eaten it. (Baudelaire) cydney_wong Feb 2022 #101

Oh Jesus. mahina Feb 2022 #103

I am so very sorry, as a mom I cannot even imagine.. secondwind Feb 2022 #104

Fragility MissKat Feb 2022 #105

My heart ejbr Feb 2022 #106

I lost a son as well. What you are going through is normal. Dustlawyer Feb 2022 #107

This is one kind of pain that truly, never ever goes away. And the questions will always remain, SWBTATTReg Feb 2022 #108

My heart aches to read this. Most parents feel an unconditional love for their children. TeamProg Feb 2022 #109

Sorry Duncanpup Feb 2022 #110

No words DownriverDem Feb 2022 #111

So heartbreaking. Emile Feb 2022 #112