One day I'm OK, the next day all I want to do is cry. Mom was 94 years old. My Dad is still with me,
and he is going to be 93 this month. I've been their 24/7 365 days a year caregiver for years. And as hard as it can be,
I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I'm trying so hard to focus on the good memories and not dwell on the 'sick,'
as I call it. Mom had a new doctor who screwed up royally, a surgeon who shouldn't have done surgery, and no one
told us of complications that might arise and what to look for. If they had, Mom would still be with us.
All the well-meaning family and friends keep telling me it was 'meant to be,' but that does not comfort me
when I know it could have all been different if only for a few changes. I know I am incredibly lucky to have had my
Mom live to be 94, but I just wish the end of her life could have been different. She went through so much pain
and stress and worry. We all did. At least I know she is at peace. But I miss her more each and every day.
And as for the newspapers, they should be ashamed of themselves for what they do when it comes to obits.
The paper I used, they have an online form, and if you fill in all the questions they ask about your deceased loved one,
I could EASILY see an obit costing $1,500. Being into genealogy actually helped me as I knew the basics I wanted to cover,
but could not stray from that at all. If I fall into a pile of money, hahahahaha, next year on the anniversary of her death,
I might put a memorial in the paper and do it right this time. IF I have the money.
A strange side note - while we were working on the obit, we were also purchasing a burial plot for the cremains of
my Mom, my Dad, and myself, when the time comes. My portion of the burial plot was CHEAPER than the obit I WANTED
to run. Is that insane or what? 
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