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orleans

(35,573 posts)
36. i'm so sorry you're going through this
Thu May 24, 2018, 02:55 AM
May 2018

i was devastated--for years--after my mom died. i would love to tell you that your mom is with you a lot of the time, that she sees you and can hear you when you speak, that she gives you signs that she is around and if you ask her to give you a sign then she will (but it will be up to you to make the connection). but i won't tell you that (although i believe it) because i don't know what your beliefs are and i don't want to offend.

but i would like to share the first sign i got from my mom. (the first of so many)

her and i both loved the 70s movie "the great gatsby" and we both absolutely loved a song that was in the movie. the song is called "what'll i do." i bought the soundtrack and we played it a lot. sometimes we'd sing along with it. we bought that song on a piano roll for our player piano. and because we loved the song so much it became "our" song (even though it is about a romantic love). the opening line is: "what'll i do when you are far away and i am blue, what'll i do?" another line: "what'll i do with just a photograph to tell my troubles to?" i always imagined that this is how i would feel when she died (or how she would feel if i died).

she'd been gone a week or two and i hadn't turned on the radio or tv once--i was too lost and preoccupied. but one night my daughter and i were in the living room and i sat down in my mom's chair and i told my kid i was going to turn on the tv. i clicked it on and whatever channel that had been watched a week or two before was playing a rerun of the golden girls (that my mom always loved and watched) with an episode that i had never seen. and the moment i turned on the tv this was what i saw:





“Your Mother is always with you.
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of certain foods you remember,
flowers you pick and perfume that she wore.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well.
She's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.
She’s the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
the colors of a rainbow. She is Christmas morning.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
She's crystallized in every teardrop.
A mother shows every emotion .......... happiness, sadness, fear,
jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy,
sorrow... and all the while, hoping and praying
you will only know the good feelings in life.
She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's
the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love; your first friend, even your first enemy, but
nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space...not even death!”
Author: unknown

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... RKP5637 May 2018 #1
It's OK and much love to you vercetti2021 May 2018 #2
I went to a meeting this weekend and there was a young woman there pnwmom May 2018 #3
I'm very sorry vercetti2021 May 2018 #6
I'm so sorry. MontanaMama May 2018 #4
Thank you, MontanaMama. pnwmom May 2018 #7
I truly believe your mother is not far away. Frustratedlady May 2018 #5
I need to hope that. I framed a picture that I love, and kept it near. pnwmom May 2018 #16
She heard you, I'm sure of it. fierywoman May 2018 #8
I'm so sorry. I talked to my mom early one Sat evening in 2005 redstateblues May 2018 #9
It will get better. Mike Rows His Boat May 2018 #10
Thank you for reaching out, Mike Rows His Boat. pnwmom May 2018 #15
I was 2 thousand miles away when both my parents passed away. Wwcd May 2018 #11
Thank you, my friend. pnwmom May 2018 #14
Yup. Hugs to you too. Wwcd May 2018 #17
My mom passed 2 months ago. Eko May 2018 #12
And it's exhausting to be always trying to hold it together. pnwmom May 2018 #13
Yes it is. Eko May 2018 #21
Oh I'm very sorry. LisaM May 2018 #18
Thank you, LisaM! pnwmom May 2018 #20
Sorry... JoeOtterbein May 2018 #19
The (undeserved) guilt will ease. alwaysinasnit May 2018 #22
I'm so sorry Phoenix61 May 2018 #23
It's okay. You will get through this. PoindexterOglethorpe May 2018 #24
Hugs! radical noodle May 2018 #25
Take care of yourself, pnwmom. kag May 2018 #26
Thank you, kag! pnwmom May 2018 #30
My grief counselor said that happens... Kittycow May 2018 #39
Peace to you and your family riversedge May 2018 #27
Best wishes during your difficult time grantcart May 2018 #28
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother almost 10 years ago, in a similar unexpected fashion. vsrazdem May 2018 #29
When my mom had a medical emergency in FLA, she had to come up sprinkleeninow May 2018 #56
my mother had Alzheimer's.... chillfactor May 2018 #31
You lost your mother before her body finally gave out -- I'm so sorry. pnwmom May 2018 #32
I am so very sorry, pnwmom. I lost my mom a year and a half ago. Silver Gaia May 2018 #33
She was an ice cream lover and I think she mysteriously transferred that to me. pnwmom May 2018 #34
That is so sweet... in more ways than one. Silver Gaia May 2018 #35
Ok you got me with ice cream IADEMO2004 May 2018 #40
i'm so sorry you're going through this orleans May 2018 #36
Thank you so much, orleans. pnwmom May 2018 #37
Please allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Laffy Kat May 2018 #38
I'm so sorry for your loss. LiberalLoner May 2018 #41
So sorry MFM008 May 2018 #42
My heart goes out to you Soxfan58 May 2018 #43
Peace to you and yours, pnwmom. sheshe2 May 2018 #44
My mother died from a brain tumor. NNadir May 2018 #45
I am so sorry, pnwmom! brer cat May 2018 #46
two months since my mom died DonCoquixote May 2018 #47
How are you feeling today? Mike Rows His Boat May 2018 #48
A little better than yesterday. Yes -- that mind loop is something else. pnwmom May 2018 #49
That's what I received! I'd start crying when something reminded me of her, and sprinkleeninow May 2018 #55
I am so sorry for your loss. Lifelong Protester May 2018 #50
That seems to be a common theme. The sense of loss never really goes away pnwmom May 2018 #54
My condolences to you. +++++++++ spooky3 May 2018 #51
I'm so sorry! The Velveteen Ocelot May 2018 #52
Hmm. Crutchez_CuiBono May 2018 #53
Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»My mom died a month ago. ...»Reply #36