The holidays are looming

[orleans]

13. i love your comment:

"We'll meet by the moon someday."

and from your previous sentence, i suspect the both of you will be laughing.

as you know from past experience (loss) those "firsts" can be brutal--but even more crushing when the physical absence of another is someone who was in your constant day-to-day, and for such a long period of time.

there's just no good way around it.

distract yourself, indulge yourself, know it's okay to be sad and it's okay to feel happy, talk to him, set a place at the table for him, dance like he is dancing with you, cry, write it all down, write him letters and read them out loud.

those are some of the things i've done since i lost my mom.

i will tell you it took me a very long time to get through the darkest parts of my grief i had after my mom died. we'd been together forever, raised my daughter together, and i was absolutely broken and lost when she passed. my grief was compounded by other losses which made all of it so devastating for me. it has taken me over 7 years to start pulling out of the fog. (i needed some counseling and anti depressants but never had either one unfortunately)

my mother had an affinity for the moon--would always tell me to look at it. i always did. i still do. i suspect that is the place i will find her, either near it or gazing at it from afar.

i'm sorry you have to go through this. but how wonderful that you loved so deeply.