I just have to ask

[Left Coast2020]

As with so many other people who are struggling and trying not to be homeless, we are told a good resource is to find a church which provides assistance or can. I have not considered myself to be a religious person based on what I have learned during college, and elsewhere. I studied the various world religions in college. I studied the "cause-effect" of many wars over different beliefs. I remember the story about Constanoble (many of these idiots probably don't know who he is). But I remember these things. I used to know someone who had a Masters in Theology. I thought they were awsome for their insight. I learned a lot from them and developed my knowledge further (he used to believe that most of these idiots ignore Mathew 25). So now here I am making every attempt to find help to get through this, and for a basic question I always get "ask god to help" or something similar. Now I am a bona-fide progressive. Never will have any respect for the R-W who are determined to destroy those less fortunate--generally speaking. I see most of these nut cases (which I have commonally refered to them as) as beyond selfish, without compassion, egotictically driven (fill in the blanks). So when conversing with someone who is "supposedly" supposed to help someone in dire straights (coping?), why is it that I have to ask god? Can I not have faith in something else? Can my dear friend who I lost in 98 (who I think may be watching me) be my faith? It really pi**es me off that because I may be in different circumstances, I'm not worthy of help? Is it not an issue to respect someone no matter their beliefs? I am somewhat discusted that I should be like they are, or I have to talk to something (someone) that I don't know. I just have to ask why are these people are treating me like this? I need a friend right now. I need someone who will listen to me. I need a shoulder to cry if necessary. This is a difficult time for me. I have almost thought of throwing in the towel. I'm trying not to. I'm trying to get out of my temp living situation so I can get into a positive energy environment. This negative-ness is bringing me down. I need positive stuff--not someone telling me how I should live my life. Am I crazy? Does this make sense?