How do you tell your friends the truth of why you don't visit anymore?

[Tsiyu]

I am lucky to have a lot of dear friends.

Long story short: I have some dear friends 30 minutes away. I love them very much, but the honest truth is, it's always been a one-sided arrangement. They will talk on and on and on about their own issues, but when I open my mouth to speak to these friends, they basically just talk over me, ignore what I'm saying, or answer with a "hmmph" and then continue talking about their own problems as if I've bored them to tears and as if my problems aren't worth their concern.


It has always hurt me, but I've let it slide for over ten years because they do seem to have a lot of problems and drama. Additionally, in ten years, I've always had to visit them. I can count on one hand the times they've visited me. It's been completely one-sided as to visits. I do feel very taken for granted.

Now, I have a lot of other friends who come see me, who love to hear my opinion on things, who are interested in what I have to say and in the issues I'm interested in. My phone rings off the hook. Yesterday I had 28 messages from friends and family wanting advice, wanting to come see me, etc. So I know it's just the particular characteristic of these other friends, and not me. And like I said, I love these often thoughtless friends very, very much.

Lately I haven't been able to drive due to money issues. A large donation to my funding site never made it ( will have it soon ) due to the donor messing up the info ( just some wrong numbers entered ), which has;left me very broke currently and before that for the last few months I've had bald tires and no gas money to visit anyone.

They have called me several times leaving messages wondering where I am and why I am not visiting.

I am afraid to call and explain to them that A ) I bore them to tears, and right now I need some listeners myself and B ) They can drive more easily than I can as they have incomes.

I've been waiting for them to call and say they are coming to visit, as proof they get my silence on the issue, but they just seem confused as to MY not visiting even when they know I have no income.

So, dear ASAHers ( I brought this to this safe group as I trust the judgment of the members here very, very much ) should I just tell them the truth or should I let them continue to chew on it til they figure it out? Should I mention how they shut me down whenever I say anything, or just leave it about the transportation issues? Or should I just accept that my love and concern for them will always be a one-way street - not that they don't love me or help me as they have - as far as visiting or listening?

How should I word things to not hurt their feelings but to make them understand?

I have to go paint and practice music, but will check back later tonite.

Love you all and thanks for the input