I am moving

[Rhiannon12866]

37. My grandmother also moved to a retirement community

She was 84 and moved to Western North Carolina from here in Northeastern New York. Previously, she'd spent the winters somewhere warmer, but after spending a few winters down there, she decided to make it permanent. She had an advantage in that her older long time friend who she used to travel with moved there first, so in the beginning they shared an apartment and so she already knew the place and a lot of people. And, unlike you, my grandmother was pretty outgoing.

I got to know the place, too, since I visited frequently. When she was first spending winters there, my uncle flew to NC and drove her home to New York and then I drove down with her in the fall and flew home. One of the requirements there was that, even though the apartments had full kitchens, residents had to take a number of meals in their dining hall so they weren't isolating. My grandmother wasn't a cook so that worked out for her and the food was quite good.

There were also lots of activities and my grandmother was a "joiner." She did everything from bingo to line dancing to prevent anything being canceled due to lack of interest. But the "activity" that she involved me with was a peace group she joined. The town where the community was located had a "sister town" in the USSR and she planned to go on the initial trip to visit the town and asked me to join her to "make up the numbers." This was in the late '80s, shortly before the USSR fell, there was a lot of hope during that time and it was one memorable visit. Many of the group who went lived in the retirement community while others lived in the NC town - it was a pretty amazing group and I got to know everyone well.

Another advantage of living there was that there were safely precautions. There was a medical staff there at all times, a pull cord in every apartment if a resident was in trouble and there was a ring that residents put out on their doorknob every night and a volunteer from every hall checked each morning to make sure it was taken in - otherwise they'd knock to see if the resident was alright.

And there were also stages of living - condos, apartments, supervised living and a health care/nursing home part - with a medical staff, as I said. And even in the apartments it was possible to have supervised meds.

It really was a lovely place, I wouldn't have minded living there myself at the time. As I said, I made friends there. But I've only been there once since I lost my grandmother in 1998. And that was the service for my grandmother's "significant other," a wonderful man who I got to know well on the Russian trip who passed away 3 months after my grandmother - at age 101. They knew each other before the Russian trip, but he made his intentions known (he told me first, actually, LOL) while we were overseas.

Anyway, I hope that your residence turns out to be as supportive a place as my grandmother's.