Boomers: Do you want to retire in your present location?

[SheilaT]

6. You have a valid point.

Exactly how far away a person is willing to be from the children depends on all sorts of stuff. I happen to live 800 miles from one son, and about 1500 from the other.

I am willing to suggest to you that you in the end must decide what is best for you, and you alone. Understand that my definition of you in this case does include your spouse. But think about this: It's not uncommon for young women to let their life decisions revolve around what some young man in their life decides. Most of us, standing outside, will say that's a dumb thing to do. Guys don't do that. They make decisions based on what's best for them. You need to make your life decisions based on what's best for YOU.

And so it goes with life decision made later on. Should someone really base where they live on what a grown child might decide? Shouldn't life decisions, especially where to live, be based on what is best for the person making that decision?

What if your child gets a job offer halfway across the country? Should that job be declined just to stay near Mom? Really?

In the end, you must do what's best for you. If that means staying where you are, then okay. But if you're making all your decisions based on something outside yourself, then I'd suggest you re-think your priorities. In the end, your child has her own life. You have yours. It's not the end of the world if you don't live nearby. Especially if, as you stated, they often seem too busy to seem grandma.