it is still not ideal.
My husband and I met and married while we were both completing grad school (law school in his case). We knew we'd have income upon graduating, but also heavy student loans payments. We had our first baby the same month we both graduated. I went back to work immediately since he was doing a clerkship the first year and that's when I started seeing what it would be like to juggle a professional job (or any job for that matter) with having a baby. Babies get sick (especially in daycare), they get their parents sick, and then heaven help you if you have another one. After juggling, being laid off (which I had never experienced prior to childbirth - I actually had a pretty high income before marrying), and getting pregnant with the second baby I gave up and decided to stay home. My husband has much higher income potential especially given the fact that I now have another unrelated health issue.
For us it hasn't been as bad as some for sure. We still struggle with debt and worry about only having one income, but some things are easier than when both parents work. We can schedule a vacation because we only have one office to check with. Our kids can stay home and rest when they are sick - and they can have activities after school because someone is home to drive them around.
My mom has cautioned me though that I really should try to go back to work doing something or other to make sure I have paid in enough to Social Security. She worries that if something would happen to my husband they would only look at the years I worked and it might not be as advantageous as if I kept working. My husband and I have invested in more life insurance as a result of thinking about that kind of scenario ... another expense we could have done without but feel like we need to have given our reality.
Agree that it would be really nice for both men and women to have more support in this area. My husband didn't dare take much paternity leave (his company has it but it's frowned upon off the record), and I can only imagine what single mothers go through if it is this difficult for a couple who has advanced degrees and a pretty good income.
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