need to understand that those kids come with baggage, especially if adopted when they are older than toddlers. And what if they're adopted as babies? If this was your birth child would you treat him like this? I know there are some parents who do this to their own birth children, but geez. The number of parents who treat their adopted children horribly is entirely too large, even if it's "only" emotional abuse as it was with one I knew.
One of my mom's caregivers was a young woman who was adopted from Belarus by a "Christian" family. It was not a happy situation, apparently, although she would not talk about it much other than to say "It did not work out." She eventually revealed to my next younger brother, the family member that she was closest to, that she had left the home at 15, basically kicked out, and somehow managed to finish high school. She didn't say how she lived, whether in a group home, couch surfing with friends, or in a shelter, but she was a pretty resourceful young woman, so she managed somehow. While in high school, she took a health ed. class and obtained her CNA license and as soon as possible (maybe even while still in high school) obtained a job in a nursing home. She was a very hard worker and was attending classes at the nearby community college in her off hours while caring for mom. She celebrated her 21st birthday (her "independence birthday", she called it) while caring for my mother and we all made a big deal of it. One of her fondest wishes was to find her birth family, and she eventually succeeded in finding some relatives in Belarus, who she visited one summer, and a brother who had been adopted in happier circumstances in Michigan, who she moved to live near after my mom's death. She had dreams of becoming a nurse practitioner and with her drive I'm betting she made it.
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