Trump wants to limit kids to three dolls and five pencils each. He's right.

[Zorro]

For years now, I've believed America's ungrateful children deserve, at most, three dolls and five pencils. Anything more spoils the little wretches and makes them happy.

I have long been a one-issue voter, and that issue is making sure American families can only buy their children a limited number of dolls and pencils. That’s why I proudly cast my vote for President Donald "Three Dolls" Trump, and I’m delighted to see him coming through on the thing that matters most to me.

In a recent interview, Trump was asked about his tariffs on China and how they might lead to higher prices and empty store shelves, and he said this of American children: “I'm just saying they don't need to have 30 dolls. They can have three. They don't need to have 250 pencils. They can have five.”


Exactly.

For years now, I’ve believed America’s ungrateful children deserve, at most, three dolls and five pencils. Anything more spoils the little wretches and makes them happy. Smiling children will be useless on the assembly lines of all the U.S. factories that will be built thanks to Trump’s tariffs. As the saying goes, “Stop smiling and screw in those tiny iPhone screws, child!”

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2025/05/06/trump-dolls-pencils-tariffs-kids/83460867007/