Alex Kurtzman Meets Stephen Miller - Steve Shives

[TexasTowelie]

Steve provides satirical dialogue portraying Alex Kurtzman (Star Trek franchise executive producer) and Stephen Miller (Trump administration official) set in 2026.

Summary:

Miller arrives at Kurtzman's office with a screenplay titled "Star Trek: Resurrection" that resurrects Captain Kirk (played by William Shatner) from his death in Star Trek: Generations (1994). The script opens with Kirk literally climbing out of his grave on Veridian III.

Miller reveals his true motivation: as a 9-year-old watching Generations in 1994, he was devastated by Kirk's death. He claims that his entire political career—including his role in the Trump administration's controversial policies (tariffs, deportations, ICE raids, territorial acquisitions)—was orchestrated solely to acquire enough power to force the production of this movie. He frames it as correcting a personal "injustice" that wounded him as a child.

Miller explicitly threatens to use his political influence and the President's relationship with CBS's CEO David Ellison to pressure Kurtzman into greenlighting the film. When Kurtzman refuses, calling the endeavor "petty," Miller threatens to have him "deported to Uganda."

The piece ends with dark irony as Kurtzman sarcastically asks about casting Sydney Sweeney as the "sexy Orion slave girl" from Miller's script, suggesting capitulation under the threat.