Funeral expenses. Please help if possible.

[Ferrets are Cool]

Last edited Tue Nov 22, 2022, 09:25 PM - Edit history (1)

OK, I wasn't sure where to put this question out. If this isn't the place just let me know.

Wifeys medical bills are piling up. Her upcoming bone marrow transplant will probably wipe our savings out. The possibility of her not making it through the procedure has been weighing heavy on her mind, and she certainly doesn't need anything else to worry about.
She wants to help me if the worst comes about and get her funeral and burial plan in place.

After making a few calls, it was was determined that it will cost over 20K.

So, here is my question. Is there a way to get burial insurance from a reputable company?
And, I will listen to any other advice.

Thanks for ANY help.

FAC

Edited to add that she will not consider cremation. I have no problem with it and it is how I will have things done, but she will not.

[applegrove]

1. Can you start a go fund me?

[Botany]

2. Are you going with a burial or a cremation? Cremations are much cheaper.

Have a friend or even your lawyer with you when you are talking to funeral homes
they take advantage of people's grief.

If you are with in months of death burial insurance will not cover the costs.

What are your wife's wishes?

Are you a member of a church? They can do a service for not too much money.

Does your wife have family or friends close by? They can be a big help.

Right now your #1 job is to be your wife's friend hold her hand, tell her that you love her, it
will all be OK, and do not worry because I and or others will always be here for you.

Hospice workers are wonderful. All hospice care should be covered by medicare.

If possible bring her home.

One foot in front of the next and you will do just what needs to be done.

Do not worry about getting everything "just right" it will all be OK.

[Ferrets are Cool]

9. Thank you Botany

[Cattledog]

3. Cremation here in GA runs between $1,000 - $4,000

are you considering that or traditional burial?

[Ferrets are Cool]

10. I wish she would, but is adament that she will not.

[mahina]

4. Wow. I was actually just looking up costs for this kind of stuff

Here in the islands where everything is expensive. I decided to just pay for cremation. It’s going to cost 1200 bucks to come pick me up and then cremate me. My family can go pick up the cardboard box and take me up to the mountains and down to the ocean. Have a party at home, bring your ukulele or guitar and pa’ina. They know that’s what I want.

That’s all I know. Good luck mate. Especially good luck to your wife in her healing too. Aloha.

[Ferrets are Cool]

11. That is exactly how I want it too.

[Wicked Blue]

5. This may not be what you want, but my brother's cremation cost $1500.

My brother died suddenly earlier this year. He was almost penniless, and I didn't have much to spare. I'm his nearest living relative, and I live a couple of states away from where he lived.

We had never discussed funeral wishes, but our family had a bad experience when our mom died years ago.

I found the website for the Funeral Consumers Alliance, and got information about a place called Compassionate Cremations in Clifton. They were absolutely great. Very sympathetic and completely upfront about price, including the cost of several kinds of urns for the ashes. They answered all my questions, provided me with the death certificate, and did not push me to spend more money on additional services. Honestly, I can't praise them enough!

Anyway, there are funeral services out there now that can provide lower-cost services that fit your needs. These include holding a memorial service, etc.

Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA)
It's a national non-profit organization dedicated to protecting the consumer’s right to a meaningful, dignified and affordable funeral.
https://funerals.org/

I hope your wife recovers completely.

[slightlv]

6. Hugs of empathy to you, Ferrets...

I just finished burial planning for my mother. She is still alive and I swear will outlive me! But still has more money allowed each month than the memory care home allows, so they suggested this. Being the oldest child, it fell on me to do it. I found the most expensive issue was the casket and the funeral ceremony, itself. Knowing Mom didn't have any money, nor did any of us 3 kids, and I'm a downright practical person, myself... I decided the most inexpensive casket (still almost $1000) was just fine. It was mostly going to be draped in a white cloth, anyway! I decided we weren't going to do a visitation and a separate funeral. We were going to have a visitation, and then go directly from there to the graveside to have a small graveside service. That was included in the basic costs of the funeral home.

Upshot... there are ways to cut costs. It ain't easy, because it's not an easy subject... especially for you, hon. It's your wife and I understand. I took my daughter with my for moral support. I suggest you take someone with you for your moral support. That, IMO, is most important!

Second, before you step out of your house, look online at different funeral home websites. They all list their price lists. We were able to cross a few off from consideration this way. If they don't have a price list, they were cross off right away. Remember the old saying, If you have to ask, you can't afford it? I live by that motto!

After you have compared online funeral homes, make a list of those you want to visit. Of these, they will probably all have comparable price lists. Now the hard part comes in. You're going to be looking for:
1. Those who understand with compassion the situation you are in and make you feel welcome.
2. Those who will not only go over their price list, but will also help you understand what can easily be left out or combined to cut costs for you.

The second funeral home we visited was the one we settled on, and they did just what I laid out to you above. They could have made a $17000 sale. Instead, they helped us trim it down to under $6000, and that still gave us a way to give Mom a funeral she would have been proud of attending.

Like I said, it ain't easy because it's so heartbreaking to do. It's work, and my heart goes out to you. I just finished signing the last of the paperwork yesterday for Mom's. So this is all so fresh in my mind. Now, I have to do it all over again for my own so my daughter doesn't get caught up short.

[woodsprite]

7. Also, look at ship direct caskets, etc.

When mom passed away, I was just looking for a style/color of casket that she wanted so I could print out a picture and take it with me. The printout happened to have the price on it and the funeral home ended up getting it and giving us a 30% discount on it compared to the online price.

Never even thought of doing that, it was just a coincidence.

I’ll hold you and your wife in my thoughts.

[3Hotdogs]

8. Shipped caskets are cheaper than the ones you buy at the funeral home. Funeral home has to accept it

Newspaper listings are not mandatory. They can consist of person's name and further information can be found at the funeral home's website.

You don't need to pay for a visitation at the funeral home at a cost of $$ per afternoon and/or evening. All of our family funerals are now concluded with cremation or burial, sometimes private. Then, an "afternoon of remembrance" at a local park, a month or two later. The cost would be free or about $100. for the reservation of the park space if the recreation department requires such. Provide as much catered food as you can afford.

Visit two or three funeral homes and ask their advice.

I hope the treatment postpones the need for the above advice.