10 common comments on feminist blogposts
‘Well done. You have identified a problem that had been identified a million times. Now what is your solution?’
I feel awful for foisting another article about sexism on this poor beleaguered reader. As tough as it is for him to keep reading about it though, he might want to stop to consider what it’s like to live with it day-in, day-out. Sure, articles highlighting a problem aren’t necessarily a solution in themselves. But when I first started Everyday Sexism, I met the same response again and again: “sexism doesn’t exist any more”. It’s impossible to begin to tackle something without first raising awareness that the problem exists.
‘Why are you whining about this when there are more important things in the world?’
It’s amazing how this criticism is so rarely levelled at football writers, say, or people writing lighthearted pieces about DIY or dogwalking. Curiously, in fact, it’s almost exclusively women who are policed with the shouts of “it’s worse elsewhere so think yourself lucky”. The existence of rape and other forms of sexual violence don’t invalidate the experiences of those who are discriminated against in the workplace or harassed in the street; nobody tells the police to stop investigating fraud until they’ve solved every murder. The presumption that women in the UK have nothing to complain about is simply false: 85,000 women are raped in the UK every year and over 400,000 sexually assaulted. An average of more than two women are killed by a current or former partner every week. And perhaps most importantly of all, this argument fails to see the links between these different forms of oppression and violence. If we aren’t allowed to challenge the more “minor” forms of harassment and discrimination, we set a precedent for the treatment of women as second-class citizens that has a direct impact on the more serious crimes.
‘If any man tries to grope me, they’ll get a foot slammed somewhere they really don’t want it to be’
I understand the impulse to comment on an article about harassment or groping with suggested reactions, I really do. It’s frustrating to read about people experiencing abuse and it’s a natural human response to offer advice. But these comments utterly fail to recognise the emotional and physical impact of being accosted or assaulted. Time and again, victims report feeling paralysed by shock or fear. By suggesting how women should react, you are (however unintentionally) implicating them in their own assault. More importantly still, focusing on responses fails to put the blame squarely where it really belongs – with the perpetrator.
We can all say “men should not do that in the first place” but this is the same as me leaving my car door open with keys in it and saying “people should not rob”’
No, it’s not. First, there is no good way to avoid assault – 90% of rapists are known to their victims, so those old chestnuts about not wearing short skirts, or going out late at night are nonsense. Second, we have to tackle perpetrators, not tell victims how to behave. Third, it’s incredibly insulting to the vast majority of men to suggest that they are inherently savage and will always attack women given an opportunity. Why should we let perpetrators off the hook “because biology”?
There's more but I was limited by the 4 paragraph rule:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/womens-blog/2014/sep/04/10-comment-comments-feminist-blogposts-responses-sexism-
= new reply since forum marked as read
to reading your posts on a variety of subjects. 
