Does anyone else here reckon that a lot of misogyny comes from a lack of positive experiences...

[YoungDemCA]

...with women, and/or some men having had negative experiences with women over the course of their lives?

When someone makes a generalization of a large group of people (in this case, women-there are literally billions of women on this very planet!) based on a few negative experiences with individual women, or maybe simply due to ignorance of and/or indifference to the injustices committed against countless women for simply being women , I believe that this can be addressed.

Problem is...since male society tends to reward misogyny and "bros before hos" attitudes, there's little incentive for misogynistic men (even the most personally insecure, self-hating ones) to change. Until it becomes unacceptable behavior among men, until men aren't rewarded by other men for being misogynistic assholes, there won't be much of a change in the behavior and belief systems of many individual men.

-My $0.02.

[seabeyond]

1. Until it becomes unacceptable behavior among men, until men aren't rewarded by other men

the rewards to feel superior and entitled will only no longer feel to be a reward if the are condemned by their peers.

[randys1]

2. All men or damn near all are exposed to misogyny by one or more people while growing up

I think this is universal, pretty much no matter what country you go to but on that I may be wrong, correct me if you know.

Now, most rightwing men hate Women, distrust Women, and are angry at them for not sleeping with them.

But rightwing Women kind of hate other Women too, but because of the way the rightwing men in their life treat them...

Personally I would rather have a Woman in charge of our government, in charge of all kinds of things, not any Woman, but a liberal Woman.

[YoungDemCA]

3. Re: right-wing women

I suspect that many (if not most) right-wing women are religious conservatives, and thus, feel like they "know their place"-which is to defer to their equally conservative husbands.

Alternatively they could just be selfish. "I've got it good, who cares about other women?"

[randys1]

4. all of that is true PLUS when you are treated a certain way you figure that is who you are, I guess

[YoungDemCA]

5. Yup, internalized oppression

It's everywhere.

[CTyankee]

8. More like "I got it good, don't want to rock the boat."

Yes, their well being is that tenuous...

[seabeyond]

9. a lot fo right wing men do not hate women. they think of them as children to be cared for.

Last edited Wed Aug 6, 2014, 11:12 AM - Edit history (1)

just sayin'

a lot fo republicans are very respectful to women, more so than some of the dem men i find on this board.

just infantalize women.

[randys1]

11. Nah, dont confuse respect as in "pedastal" with real respect

Con men in some cases appear more respectful, but it isnt respect, it is that nonsense that Women have to be cared for, protected, lied to for their own good, told to shut up when necessary if men are discussing something real important, etc.

[seabeyond]

12. i disagree. they are not the teabaggers, or those you see on tv. i have only had these men in my

life. i do not know that i have ever been around a man that is a democrat. thinking, thinking, .... not remembering one.

real respect? meh... who knows. a world they, you, me, us were raised in. they love. they respect in the manner they know, the best they can. and some become more aware, than, as i say, the dems i hear on du.

are the dem men that purposely denigrate, work to humiliate, put in womens "place" being respectful as they cheer womens rights when is behooves;/accommodates them and meets their needs?

respecting a human can be defined in all kinds of manners.

i know that what i see on du by SOME, a SMALL number of men, in no way is respectful, yet the men i am around, republicans, do respect me.

[randys1]

14. OK, you are a Woman, I am not, so I defer, but I also dont confuse some Dem men

as in thinking they are true liberals, many of them are not and when it comes to Women might as well just be cons...in many cases these same men have con thinking about minorities as well

[seabeyond]

21. You are probably, assuredly correct. Nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

24. exactly. they are cons. yes.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

6. As to the first part, I couldn't say what percentage of the mysogyny

that's out there might stem from such, but I'd have to ask what constitutes a 'negative experience'? Is it simply being denied something the guy wants? And are we to get Freudian, and say that because parenting has been so often left to women, that since Mom generally gets stuck being the one who tells Junior 'No!', she's set up as primal 'negative experience'? And, heck, what if Junior is spoiled rotten and never hears 'No!' from Mom? In which case his sense of entitlement gets to get hammered by the first girl he assumes will just fall in his lap?

Aren't our 'negative experiences' in life often simply a reflection of our own input into the experience? If you go into an experience with a sense that you 'deserve' a specific outcome, then at least some of the time, you're going to walk out with a 'negative experience'. I think if you go in with no expectations, and don't assume you are owed any particular outcome, you'll walk out again with far fewer chances of having had a 'negative experience', even if the outcome wasn't that for which you had hoped.

As to the second part, I think that depends upon the people with whom you hang out, and the extent to which you socialize. I don't spend a lot of time just 'hanging out' with other guys, so there's no reinforcement of the 'men first' attitude, no matter what my experiences are. So most of my socialization skills were formed in school. And that's where I'd start working to change the cultural reinforcement, de-emphasizing competition and self-centered behaviours, and emphasizing cooperation and seeing everyone as being an equal human being, regardless of gender, skin tone, intellect, accent, or any other particular characteristic.

[YoungDemCA]

7. Interesting points

Thanks for the response. A lot of food for thought...

[mopinko]

10. i think it is genetic.

fear of being a cuckhold is behind most of it, if you believe in evolutionary psychology.
hard to talk back to your own brain, unfortunately.

i dont buy the whole freudian "we are creatures of our past experiences" bit. we are born who we are, with a complex psychology that has evolved over millennia.
doesnt mean change is impossible, just means we are not at the root of it.

[ismnotwasm]

13. Since sexism and misogyny are different things

But sexism drives society, (advertising, choices we make for our children, societal expectations ect) whatever the impetus toward misogyny is, has plenty of reinforcement. So yes it could be a negative experience. It could be almost anything, since society accepts it. And you are right, until the rewards are taken away, there will be no change.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Feminism had nothing to do with misogyny though

I'd say that's a false comparison. Feminism is a large worldwide movement and philosophy --independent of it's individual members many opinions--continually moving forward to make changes toward gender equality.

Misogyny, on the other hand, is a pathological state.

[freshwest]

18. Haha! He can't hear you. He was banned. He spouted MRA stuff on another thread.

The Magistrate called him out first so I didn't get around to doing it. What he said on that thread is gone:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014864091

But you can still see The Magistrate's posts, you may enjoy them.

[ismnotwasm]

19. Yeah there was another one I alerted on in a thread I started here and got a hide

That's why I started the thread on nasty internet trolls. So gross.

I'll go read that, I love it when The Magistrate takes them on.

Edit--oh my, that was hilarious. The "name removed" made it even funnier.

[AverageJoe90]

20. From what I've seen, negative experiences tend to exacerbate *any kind* of prejudice. nt

[alp227]

22. yep, case in point, ELLIOT RODGER. nt

[nomorenomore08]

23. What's really scary is that his rantings resemble stuff I've seen all over the place, online.

I mean, there's a site called Return of Kings that literally advocates the breakdown of modern society for the purpose of re-enslaving women.