Conversely, my daughter thought one or two of her midwives were deliberately exclusive of her husband-- who, by mutual agreement wanted to be part of the birth process. ( be there, cut the cord etc,) I was a little surprised, because I thought we had moved past that men out of the delivery room business. Turns out people who work in that field see to many abusive or irresponsible parents. Women are taken aside and gently questioned if abuse is suspected.
It pissed my daughter off, who doesn't realize what healthcare workers see. It all worked out though. My SIL proudly participates and does as much as he can.
When my very first grandchild was born (I was 37 or 38-- we both were early breeders) she was not married to her current husband and most emphatically did NOT want my husband there. His feelings were a bit hurt because he had been at HIS daughters birth, and considers it the ultimate spiritual experience but he understood and complied.
Why is this an argument? Birth can be a long drawn out, certainly painful process with a person losing all autonomy and is at their most vulnerable. There's blood and shit and other body fluids. There are tears in the perineum that have to be sown. There are emergency c-sections. There are a dozen things that can go wrong and if a women just wants her medical team that's her business.
Some of the responses in that thread are not surprising to me at all. Sacred sperm and all that
I just read "both parents have equal rights" oh really? Did the father spend 9 months just risking his life, go through horrendous pain, and will spend a bit of medical recovery time--a lot or a little depending on the circumstances? Equal? Uh uh.
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