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sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 02:51 PM Feb 2014

I thought Skinner's answer to Bain in ATA was very good.

I thought it was positive and uplifting and I think he gets it. I get pissed at a lot of crap that goes on here,but I think he deserves kudos for his answer.

Bains question was very good too. Brava Bains!

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I thought Skinner's answer to Bain in ATA was very good. (Original Post) sufrommich Feb 2014 OP
?? brucefan Feb 2014 #1
Sorry,I shouldn't have assumed everybody sufrommich Feb 2014 #2
Did he state that DU has ZERO tolerance DURHAM D Feb 2014 #3
No,he didn't. nt sufrommich Feb 2014 #4
Nope. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2014 #8
No, but I do think his response was thouthtful and helpful. BainsBane Feb 2014 #9
I'm not impressed. His words are all very nice, but they do nothing to mitigate the fact that DU Squinch Feb 2014 #10
There actually is a lot of tolerance for racism on DU BainsBane Feb 2014 #13
Yes,there is. nt sufrommich Feb 2014 #14
I know. I agree. But it's exactly what you say: some few feel empowered to express their Squinch Feb 2014 #16
I agree with that BainsBane Feb 2014 #17
I'm sure he's not alone. Squinch Feb 2014 #18
Just read that link - thanks. RBStevens Feb 2014 #19
If I didn't have skin like a rhinocerous BainsBane Feb 2014 #20
Exactly! Damn but if women talk out loud and argue against RBStevens Feb 2014 #21
"playing the vcitim" BainsBane Feb 2014 #24
i thought so also when i was just huh, barely an adult. lol. then you grow up. nt seabeyond Feb 2014 #27
actually the internet allows empowerment for it to grow outside, in real life, i believe. so ya.... seabeyond Feb 2014 #26
And when I say I'm not impresed, Squinch Feb 2014 #22
too surprising and such a supporter... lol, not. nt seabeyond Feb 2014 #25
It makes it sound like hostility is actually good, in the end. Whisp Feb 2014 #30
i do not think it is about the rube getting educated. these battle that we have to constantly have seabeyond Feb 2014 #32
+1 RBStevens Feb 2014 #33
some defenders of Russia really took a crap all over GLBT rights during Sochi geek tragedy Feb 2014 #44
it is warped, those that want to place the blame on people because they have the courage, integrity, seabeyond Feb 2014 #45
You might be noticing it more gollygee Feb 2014 #49
All of it boils down to denial of privilege. sufrommich Feb 2014 #52
THANK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!! Tarheel_Dem Feb 2014 #51
though blurry, i think hte importance of what he said was his line of acceptance. his personal line seabeyond Feb 2014 #23
Well, yes. He did answer. There is that. Squinch Feb 2014 #28
Hi Squinch. DURHAM D Feb 2014 #42
I saw that, and I think I might have been remembering it as I was reading Skinner's response Squinch Feb 2014 #47
Exactly how I see it. n/t MadrasT Feb 2014 #50
sadly I agree DonCoquixote Feb 2014 #53
No he did not. Whisp Feb 2014 #29
I have gathered that there is some (a lot?) of RBStevens Feb 2014 #31
Lots of clicks in those long fights... Squinch Feb 2014 #34
that is the one that makes me squint my eyes, look in the face of our reality we are being given. nt seabeyond Feb 2014 #35
I just re-read Skinner's response RBStevens Feb 2014 #38
Yes. Here is a link to an OP from almost a year ago. DURHAM D Feb 2014 #37
Thank you - started reading through it RBStevens Feb 2014 #39
That was depressing to read,I forgot sufrommich Feb 2014 #46
"Good exercise but you aren't really going anywhere" Squinch Feb 2014 #57
Is not the support from the broader DU community new? BainsBane Feb 2014 #68
There was a huge thread in META then taken over to Welcome & Help Whisp Feb 2014 #60
huge thread in meta coinciding with gormy's. with all our mess, we were totally united in solidarity seabeyond Feb 2014 #61
Here is the link BainsBane Feb 2014 #5
Thanks Bain. I'm not on my computer sufrommich Feb 2014 #6
This is very good to see wryter2000 Feb 2014 #7
Thanks for the link. nt cinnabonbon Feb 2014 #77
yes, but by the metric that Skinner sets, he would deprive the DU community from discussions CTyankee Feb 2014 #11
I'm encouraged by his reply. UtahLib Feb 2014 #12
Thanks for mentioning it, redqueen Feb 2014 #15
Frustrating gaspee Feb 2014 #36
$exism. A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #40
but $ee, it i$ alway$ at the expen$e of the woman to get that $. ya know. nt seabeyond Feb 2014 #41
I think Skinner is trying to allow the site to regulate itself ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #43
I just gotta say A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #48
Naw. Just had a rough background that rose out of the ashes from ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #55
Thanks for this reminder: A-Schwarzenegger Feb 2014 #56
+1 ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #62
Ismnotwasm - with all due respect RBStevens Feb 2014 #54
I've read his replies ismnotwasm Feb 2014 #58
Thanks for your reply :) RBStevens Feb 2014 #59
I second A-Schwarz's post. And I think it's a shame HoF gets such a bad rap. nomorenomore08 Feb 2014 #90
Skinner missed his calling Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #63
Hey you DURHAM D Feb 2014 #65
LOL Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #66
It was a good and thoughtful exchange... hlthe2b Feb 2014 #64
Regarding raising awareness and "education." BainsBane Feb 2014 #67
i have been thinking also. though i agree with what is being said, here of late i have wondered seabeyond Feb 2014 #69
The issue of equal rights for women has been a settled matter among Democrats DURHAM D Feb 2014 #70
the take over of the third wave set it on its ears. clean up time. seabeyond Feb 2014 #71
Time to Move On and leave the ignorance/stupid behind. DU3 is behind the times when it should be Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #72
all that woman. you are so right on. ah ha..... i luv. simply fits perfectly in all that should seabeyond Feb 2014 #73
indeed, we are living in interesting times, sea. Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #74
lol. Who is "we"? You got fleas? DURHAM D Feb 2014 #75
pfffft, i would not be so arrogant to say it is the new second wave. how totally condescending that seabeyond Feb 2014 #76
^^this^^ hlthe2b Feb 2014 #78
I just saw this. This is it, exactly! Squinch Mar 2014 #96
I hear what you are saying, and I AM encouraged that so many people came out and Squinch Feb 2014 #79
Now they've moved on to African American members BainsBane Feb 2014 #80
yup. nt seabeyond Feb 2014 #81
I don't know how anyone can deny white privilege. MadrasT Feb 2014 #82
Jesus the whitesplaining going on is disgusting. MadrasT Feb 2014 #83
They literally don't give a high-flying fuck about anyone but themselves. It's nauseating, really. nomorenomore08 Feb 2014 #92
And they can't imagine that anyone should be able to have a thought that doesn't revolve around them Squinch Mar 2014 #97
I'm embarrassed for the idiots in those sufrommich Feb 2014 #84
i went in and perused one very long thread. ok, didnt bother perusing much. the very seabeyond Feb 2014 #85
As if tiptoeing delicately around a complex and difficult issue accomplishes jack shit. nomorenomore08 Feb 2014 #93
I just saw white privilege called gollygee Feb 2014 #86
It frustrates me BainsBane Feb 2014 #87
One particular OP just makes me want to straight-up smack the guy across the face. nomorenomore08 Feb 2014 #91
I feel that way about a couple of them BainsBane Feb 2014 #95
I started a white privilege thread in GD BainsBane Feb 2014 #88
Threads in GD today show that there is every bit as much tolerance BainsBane Feb 2014 #89
I think Skinner is well-intentioned, but he's still trying too hard to please everybody. nomorenomore08 Feb 2014 #94

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
2. Sorry,I shouldn't have assumed everybody
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 02:57 PM
Feb 2014

would know what I'm talking about,if you go to the Ask the Administrators forum,it's the question from Bainsbane.

Sheldon Cooper

(3,724 posts)
8. Nope.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:17 PM
Feb 2014

Still can't get past that barrier. It's still up to us to continue to patiently educate the ineducable, no matter what provocation gets thrown in our face. Skinner may think that those clowns are showing their asses, but no other group would be required to actually look at those ass displays. Only the women, still.

I have yet to hear him explain why a simple change to include sexism and misogyny can't be added to the TOS.

So yes, his reply today was better than I expected, but falls short of enough.

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
10. I'm not impressed. His words are all very nice, but they do nothing to mitigate the fact that DU
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:29 PM
Feb 2014

has no stance as being against misogyny.

Instead, what he said was that he thinks that our frustration about the boys'-club nature of recent posts, and the disrespect we faced for voicing that frustration, has been useful because our answers were instructive to others.

If he posted the same kind of thing about African American or homosexual DUers, we would not be happy. For example, imagine if a group of DUers came out in support of the "religious objection" law in Arizona. Imagine then that homosexual DUers had to spend a few weeks arguing against those who support the law, and against people saying, "There's nothing wrong with a bakery saying they won't serve homosexual people." We would, rightfully, be pretty incensed.

Imagine then someone saying, "Yeah, well, but it's good that those people disrespect our members right here on DU, because then when our members fight back, we learn so much."

Sorry. As answers go, that pretty much sucks.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
13. There actually is a lot of tolerance for racism on DU
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:34 PM
Feb 2014

which is why there are so few African American members here. I have also noticed more homophobia lately. I don't know if there is an actual increase or that I'm just starting to notice it. My sense is that some have watched the hostility toward people of color and feminists and have felt empowered to express their antipathy toward LGBT members and issues. I'm hoping this recent string of events regarding sexism will shift the pendulum back a bit.

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
16. I know. I agree. But it's exactly what you say: some few feel empowered to express their
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:39 PM
Feb 2014

antipathy and hostility toward people of color and LGBT as well as feminists. So to say, "but when we put people through that, and they fight back, we learn a lot," is not a good answer, and it is frankly not sufficient to overcome the impression that hostility toward feminists, people of color and the LGBT community is tolerated.

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
19. Just read that link - thanks.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:48 PM
Feb 2014

That's what that person took from it, basically *grow a thicker skin*. Like feminists and their allies haven't heard that one hundred million times before.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
20. If I didn't have skin like a rhinocerous
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:50 PM
Feb 2014

I wouldn't be so vocal with my opinions. Women are well used to taking shit. At a certain point we say enough is enough.

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
21. Exactly! Damn but if women talk out loud and argue against
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:56 PM
Feb 2014

real anti-women crap they are just taking it personally or are weaklings. *It's the internet, what do you expect?*

The internet is not some divorced-from-reality thing, it's people's words and one has to assume that people's words convey their thoughts!

"Frustrating to read"?? Tell us about it.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
24. "playing the vcitim"
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:07 PM
Feb 2014

That is a continual refrain by some. If you point to sexism or even female empowerment, you are "playing the victim." They think collaborating with misogynists keeps them from being victims. It's precisely the opposite. They are the classic examples of what French philosopher Louis Althusser calls interpellated subjects.

Althusser complicates the relationship between domination and subjugation by introducing the interpellation process, where individuals recognize themselves as subjects through ideology, thus illustrating how subjects can be complicit in their own domination. http://csmt.uchicago.edu/glossary2004/interpellation.htm
 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
26. actually the internet allows empowerment for it to grow outside, in real life, i believe. so ya....
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:09 PM
Feb 2014

internet matters.

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
22. And when I say I'm not impresed,
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:58 PM
Feb 2014

I DON'T mean your post, I just mean the answer you got.

I am glad you asked the question, and glad you asked it the way you did.

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
30. It makes it sound like hostility is actually good, in the end.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:16 PM
Feb 2014

and a productive way to elevate discussion. Too bad some people get hurt by it, but what the hell in the end some rube may get educated. worth it!

:groan:

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
32. i do not think it is about the rube getting educated. these battle that we have to constantly have
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:20 PM
Feb 2014

seem to be about the greater good for those outside the actual battle. we are the performance art of it that educations.

yes.

it makes it hostile, insulting, challenging, tiring to all of us to continue be on show to continuing to create support thru education. and how long will any of us be willing to do this before we walk away. then????

it is the inherent unfairness in the situation, and the shrug of the shoulder to the unlevel playing field we create for women.

like in real life, like in the workforce, the minority has to perform a 110% to get 50% of the recognition.

 

geek tragedy

(68,868 posts)
44. some defenders of Russia really took a crap all over GLBT rights during Sochi
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:11 PM
Feb 2014

My favorite (and by 'favorite' I mean "most appalling&quot :

In actuality the LGBT loud approach at Russia during this Olympics has done more to help reignite the Cold War than Dick Cheney himself could have done. I bet the MIC is loving the LGBT community right now.


But it did give us the best MIRT message in a while:

http://sync.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=170167&sub=trans
 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
45. it is warped, those that want to place the blame on people because they have the courage, integrity,
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:14 PM
Feb 2014

ability to speak out.

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
49. You might be noticing it more
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:36 PM
Feb 2014

I had a wake-up moment at some point when Number23 said something or another that made me see it here more, and since then I've noticed as much racism as sexism here, maybe even more actually. I think I was just focused on my issues before that and didn't notice before. But wow I notice now and it's pretty horrible.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
52. All of it boils down to denial of privilege.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:47 PM
Feb 2014

and fear of losing that privilege as if equality is a finite resource that is depleted every time it's shared.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
23. though blurry, i think hte importance of what he said was his line of acceptance. his personal line
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:05 PM
Feb 2014

like the door issue. not cute and quaint, just irritating.

seem like very little. but.... but listen and use to manipulate what he is saying and the position people think that he holds.

that is why all this could be very easy with rules, though we will not get it. it is still very valid what he put out today, in expressing some of his position.

and... honestly, i swear, the biggest thing... that should not be tough, was a basic respect in answering.

i think htat always matters.

DURHAM D

(32,834 posts)
42. Hi Squinch.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:03 PM
Feb 2014

Here is a link to a conversation about this same issue we were having a year ago.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/125517375

I posted it down thread for RBStevens but wanted to make sure you saw it as you are the only one in this thread who wasn't in that thread as well.

Don't hurt your head.


Squinch

(52,524 posts)
47. I saw that, and I think I might have been remembering it as I was reading Skinner's response
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:24 PM
Feb 2014

to BainsBane. Thank you for the actual thread.

This squeamish refusal to simply put it into the TOS is very jarring. Instead we get this weasel-y workaround of "bigotry based on gender."

I am sure it is due to fears that, if they simply say, "We don't welcome misogyny," they'll have to accept some basic lines in the sand about exactly what constitutes misogyny. On many issues, like the recent spate of T&A postings, they have been very comfortable with the stance, "Well some of our members don't believe that IS misogyny." (Though, we might point out, some of those same members have defended things like child pornography. And were allowed to stay for a few more seasons.)

This hands-up, "We're not going there!" attitude is nothing less than support for a boys'-club mentality on their site.

Their non-statement is actually a very clear statement of a very strongly held position.

DonCoquixote

(13,677 posts)
53. sadly I agree
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:52 PM
Feb 2014

Now, there was a lot of wiggle room he had that would still allow a stance, for example:

We here at DU do not tolerate any sort of defamation or discrimination based on gender, race or creed, period. However, we will always take note that in the heat of arguments, people may demonize others as bigots because of their opinion. There are those who will paint any opposition to their point as bigotry, as issues like Israel/Palestine bring up. That is why when someone is called a bigot, or accusing someone of being a bigot, we will look at the facts, and ask people to prove their points based on logic and fact.

That would have made a firm stance, and also helped deal with the idiots on any side that wanted to use a phrase to say "ban them, they are a (insert word here).

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
29. No he did not.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:11 PM
Feb 2014

It comes down to the same thing all the time:

Would DUers be able to call African Americans or LGBT people the names they call women, or disrespect AA or LGBT the way women are disrespected here, would they be allowed to tell LGBT people to Change their lifestyle if they don't like being discriminated against?

I am not at all saying that it is glory and fair days here for everyone else, not at all, but no way an abuser(s) would be able to run with racist or bigoted threads and posts to the extent they can with women's issues.

Some think Skinner was being fair. He was not. He said the same old thing the same old way, again.

Bains did put her question forward extremely well but was dodged on the meat of it again.

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
31. I have gathered that there is some (a lot?) of
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:18 PM
Feb 2014

resistance over a long period of time to adding sexism/misogyny to the terms of service?

I just don't see how there could be resistance to such a simple thing. Why dance around it? Is it only women's issues that are too *subjective* to be included? Scratching my head.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
35. that is the one that makes me squint my eyes, look in the face of our reality we are being given. nt
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:22 PM
Feb 2014
 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
38. I just re-read Skinner's response
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:32 PM
Feb 2014

more carefully and what I took away from it was *you're doing a good job, little lady, keep it up*.

You're right seabeyond, what happens when the women here get burnt out "educating" in lengthy (click producing, $$ generating) threads and leave? Or worse fleeing a hostile environment because someone/s has called you a liar when you describe your rape/s.

DURHAM D

(32,834 posts)
37. Yes. Here is a link to an OP from almost a year ago.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:30 PM
Feb 2014
http://www.democraticunderground.com/125517375

You will notice it is the same questions and the same posters and the same disappointment.

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
39. Thank you - started reading through it
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:41 PM
Feb 2014

and will finish it later.

This is (to put it mildly and to avoid swearing!) ridiculous.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
46. That was depressing to read,I forgot
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:22 PM
Feb 2014

all about that,I remember Whisp was treated like an annoying child though.JTFrog even got a bullshit hide out of it.Apparently this is going to be an annual event.It's like being on a treadmill,it's good exercise but you aren't really going anywhere.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
68. Is not the support from the broader DU community new?
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 01:11 AM
Feb 2014

The threads with hundreds of recommendations? I think one positive thing that came out of all this is that it exposed the lie than only a small group of fringe feminists see and care about sexism on DU.

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
60. There was a huge thread in META then taken over to Welcome & Help
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 07:15 PM
Feb 2014

I think Gormy Cuss started the W&H thread which mushroomed into a large conversation about sexism on DU,--
but without Skinner. No one from admin took the META thread seriously enough to comment so we packed up and went to W&H, with hope that would be a better place. but no, screw off and shut up, I ain't talking to you, was the message.

That was a horrible thing to witness, we, hats in hand coming to the master so he can hear our grievances. But he didn't even show up once (as I recall) in that thread. Not even a, I am sorry you feel like that and I will do what I can to make things better for your stay here. Even that would have helped. But no, Nada. And the troublesome boys in the background were most likely squealing in delight at our humiliation.

Nothing. Nada. And where do I hear this phrase all the time: In Good Faith?

We were there In Good Faith - as I recall most posts were very cordial and reasonable in wanting some answers. Gormy set the tone for that.

So yeh, same shit, different pile.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
61. huge thread in meta coinciding with gormy's. with all our mess, we were totally united in solidarity
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 07:23 PM
Feb 2014

yes

i remember

CTyankee

(64,889 posts)
11. yes, but by the metric that Skinner sets, he would deprive the DU community from discussions
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:33 PM
Feb 2014

about racist comments, for example, by not allowing further discussion.

However, we are where we are and he has been more forthcoming in his thinking with this response. I hope this bodes well for the future.

And I will join you for a Brava to Bains!

UtahLib

(3,180 posts)
12. I'm encouraged by his reply.
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:33 PM
Feb 2014

I would like to see it posted as an announcement so as to prevent people from claiming ignorance.

redqueen

(115,164 posts)
15. Thanks for mentioning it,
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 03:39 PM
Feb 2014

and thanks to Bain for posting it, and the link too


I agree that on the whole, DU commentary is better than those other sites... but there are a good few here who would fit in very well in... let's just say certain types of forums, IYKWIM.

gaspee

(3,231 posts)
36. Frustrating
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 04:24 PM
Feb 2014

I'm sick of trying to explain things to people who play stupid on purpose to frustrate and antagonize.

And I think that's all I will say about it.

ismnotwasm

(42,436 posts)
43. I think Skinner is trying to allow the site to regulate itself
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:04 PM
Feb 2014

In a direct Democratic manner. I don't think he'll allow it to devolve to pornhub shorts in video. Didn't he have a daughter a few years back?

That being said, DU does represent a larger community. There are plenty of sexist male liberals, clueless women who don't understand that you can't 'choose' to be objectified. They're out there. They want to talk about chained CPI and trade agreements-- as though gender should take a back burner. We all pick our own battles.

I will say though, since I recently started Facebook I've had to get rid of a couple of people, including my brother-in Law for racism. I have one friend, a tattoo artist who constantly posts pictures of beautiful, tattooed women-- all objectified, Who tends toward the conservative-- and just when I have my finger on the button he'll post something beautiful and life affirming. It's weird to find out you know conservatives

My liberal friends "get" issues like sexism and sex slavery and rape and racism and Gay rights , way better than DU does sometimes, but I haven't brought up specific issues like pornography yet. It will be interesting when I do

A-Schwarzenegger

(15,600 posts)
48. I just gotta say
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:32 PM
Feb 2014

I admire you a lot, and your almost always calm, hopeful & good-hearted attitude toward all this crap. Do you have some sort of wisdom practice or something that you do?

ismnotwasm

(42,436 posts)
55. Naw. Just had a rough background that rose out of the ashes from
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 06:02 PM
Feb 2014

And I realize that most people live, on some level in fear or desperation. They want to be heard, a lot of what we deal with is "look at me" look at me" from the ego damaged.

Plus I'm a nurse. We're smooth at calm like that

A-Schwarzenegger

(15,600 posts)
56. Thanks for this reminder:
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 06:05 PM
Feb 2014

"And I realize that most people live, on some level in fear or desperation. They want to be heard, a lot of what we deal with is "look at me" look at me" from the ego damaged."

That is hard for me to remember when confronted with people who seem so smugly certain of what they're saying no matter how wrong and even cruel they seem. But it is the truth that will let me see through the bs & not want to hurt back & not just toxify myself. When I lose my sense of humor (which includes for me lightheartedness, compassion, mercy), I'm lost.

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
54. Ismnotwasm - with all due respect
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 05:53 PM
Feb 2014

"I don't think he'll allow it to devolve to pornhub shorts in video." is really selling the hard work that the women (and growing number of men) are doing here.

That you don't think that Admin will let this space become just another porn site (because he has a daughter? lots of porn site administrators have daughters, Larry Flynnt has at least one daughter) is great, but shouldn't or couldn't this place be held to a higher standard rather easily?

And as to those who have *other* political priorities that's all fine and dandy but blatant sexism and misogyny really should have no place here or anywhere.

ismnotwasm

(42,436 posts)
58. I've read his replies
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 06:38 PM
Feb 2014

And while he won't take that final step and define sexist language, he himself may not know how insidious it is. Or maybe he is afraid he'd lose income-- but I think he'd actually attract income once some of the trash is taken out. I can't recommend DU to my friends, for instance, although I'd love for them to join our little group. Between the libertarian infestation and the blatant sexism, I don't even tell people the name of the site-- how sad is that?

I've talked to door to door political democracy activists who just shrug when they hear the name. I've met active users of Dailykos who had no respect for a community I've been apart of for ten years.

I just think Skinner does the best he can with what he's got. He's very aware that shining stars like Nancy Greggs found elsewhere to post and consider this an Obama hate site.

I would love to see it held to a higher standard, but we're dealing with a lot of people who think it's what goes on is ok, or not even sexist. In other words Skinner is attempting to keep a big tent, while sacrificing some of the sites integrity. That's why I keep saying DU is falling behind, oh, not at the level of certain redditt sites, but it's certainly less than it could be for a small community site.

The ones with 'other' political priorities tend to be prolific posters, who will toss a bone at gender issues when they feel like it. But they won't support it. And then there's the trolls-- my God. The trolls. They hide until it's time to stir the shit. And the MRA's. I still think it's funny they won't come out and identify themselves as such- Wait, maybe because they're considered a hate group
So I guess I feel a little sorry for Skinner. I was nearly out of here when I found out that 'pro-life' positions are acceptable here, because they are not inimical to Democratic values. I still might leave over that one.

All these words to say I think he means well, he just fucks up on occasion

 

RBStevens

(227 posts)
59. Thanks for your reply :)
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 07:02 PM
Feb 2014

I do appreciate your hopefulness that he/admin mean well. And I agree that the site would be better served by extending that big tent over feminists and their allies instead of just offering the same old tattered umbrella that it seems he's been offering for at least a year.

It would just be so simple to put some better wording into the terms (as a starting place anyway) that it's just baffling to me.

Anyway, thanks again.

hlthe2b

(106,075 posts)
64. It was a good and thoughtful exchange...
Wed Feb 26, 2014, 09:00 PM
Feb 2014

I think between the numerous highly recommended and discussed posts by a number of very eloquent posters in GD and HOF accompanied by the ATA questions by Bain and Bjorn Against, we've made some inroads..

That said, I am admittedly in the camp that was hoping/expecting for more from Skinner (e.g., zero tolerance for misogyny), but I guess it is a start. Those who want to keep on behaving as they are, though, can readily construe what they want from his failure to take an absolute stand. sigh...

When I originally posted this, I was trying hard to see the optimism... I still am, but as others have posted where we were a year ago and how short we fall from any real change, it is hard....

But all of us deserve better and I can't see any of us backing down.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
67. Regarding raising awareness and "education."
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 01:06 AM
Feb 2014

When Skinner talked about how we were succeeding in raising awareness about objectification and sexism, I think it's quite possible he may have been referring, in part, to himself. I and others have asked questions in ATA about sexism in the past and gotten cursory answers that skirt the issue or, more often, have had our questions ignored. I actually didn't expect he would answer this one either, but he did. I noted more thoughtfulness and respect in that response than in many others on the subject, so while I agree that I would like a firmer line in the sand regarding misogyny and sexism, I do believe this is a step forward.

It took me a bit of time to digest his response. Before reading it, I read a PM from Seabeyond talking about how encouraged she was by it. When I then read it, I had mixed reactions that reflects much of what has been said here, but thinking about it overall, I consider it encouraging.

As for the idea of educating people, I have mixed feelings. A number of posters use the term pejoratively against me in particular. Who are you to "educate," when in my mind all I've done is present my views with some evidence to support them. They are people who read everything feminists say through a lens of hostility and never make a minimal effort to understand the arguments. Skinner notes that there are many people who read but don't post, and we may be reaching them. I know I've received many, many PMs from people thanking me for speaking out. These are generally people who themselves are not comfortable being as assertive with their views as I am, but their PMs indicate that share many of the ideas I express. I know Sea receives similar PMs and others here may as well. Yet Bjorn Against's posts indicate that was most illuminating to him was how those hostile to feminism responded to those of us who raised concerns about the bikini threads. He, and I would assume others, came to understand that misogyny was a problem on DU because they witnessed posters ridiculing women in offensively sexist ways. In that sense, it seems we've been the objects through which misogyny is revealed rather than subjects educating others by sharing our perspectives. That has been an uncomfortable process. I hope it can have some lasting benefit.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
69. i have been thinking also. though i agree with what is being said, here of late i have wondered
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 08:03 AM
Feb 2014

about skinners position. that simple. i am certainly not gonna battle while the person with voice is truly thinking it ought to be a man space. i think that is what was the most good for me in listening to skinner discuss some of his positions on the issue. it puts him more in line of the progressive dem that respect the feminist community that is a big part of our party, rather than the more libertarian man space environment.

i really do not expect skinner to throw in no sexism though would be easy enough to do. not when we had all that support way back when and he ignored.

but ya.... he reeled me back in with his answer

DURHAM D

(32,834 posts)
70. The issue of equal rights for women has been a settled matter among Democrats
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:23 AM
Feb 2014

for almost half a century. It is not a settled matter on DU until the TOS is fixed.

After that line is drawn then you can "educate" others to see discrimination.

You can not argue against the 1964 Civil Rights Act or the 1965 Voting Rights Act on DU. You can not argue against civil rights... period. There is a line in the sand on DU. It is a black and white issue. However, there are still racist comments posted here and that is where education and awareness comes in. The posters who make racist comments will get schooled, shut down, and likely removed because DU has a zero tolerance policy against such bigotry.

You can not argue against equal rights for LGBT citizens. The admin have stated that if you argue against Marriage Equality you don't belong here. There is a line in the sand on DU. It is a black and white issue. Again, this is where education comes in... DU posters still need to help people see their prejudices and raise awareness but fortunately we have a starting point because of the zero tolerance policy.

But, you can come to DU and freely argue that women are not equal. You can argue against the Equal Rights Amendment. skinner has even stated that being anti-choice is okay on DU. You are welcome to advance the War on Women by reversing it and stating it is a War on Men, hence the Rand Paul supporters and MRAers that walk among us. These positions can be advanced on DU because the question remains as to whether or not women are actually equal. It is a gray area because DU does not have zero tolerance for bigotry directed at women.

"Education" and "arguments" only works for those among us who already believe that women are, or should be, equal but do not always see the discrimination. They are wanting and willing to learn; to put themselves in our place and see it through our eyes and be educated.

Meanwhile DU remains a safe haven for anti-female posters who don't believe women are equal because the TOS has a hole in it.

Close that hole and the education and raised awareness discussion can begin.




 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
71. the take over of the third wave set it on its ears. clean up time.
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:27 AM
Feb 2014

" The issue of equal rights for women has been a settled matter among Democrats"

our young feminists are stepping up. educate. du, needs that education what feminists TODAY are saying. we are still in the past of third wave.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
72. Time to Move On and leave the ignorance/stupid behind. DU3 is behind the times when it should be
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:31 AM
Feb 2014

Leading The Way if it wants to stay true to it's Progressive Liberal agenda.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
73. all that woman. you are so right on. ah ha..... i luv. simply fits perfectly in all that should
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:37 AM
Feb 2014

be. lol

and i have the wendy race her in texas. and i have a judge race of two women. one i know well, here in amarillo. an interesting time.

DURHAM D

(32,834 posts)
75. lol. Who is "we"? You got fleas?
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:54 AM
Feb 2014

I think what you are saying is "we" need to move forward to the New Second Wave.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
76. pfffft, i would not be so arrogant to say it is the new second wave. how totally condescending that
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:58 AM
Feb 2014

would be. right along with a.... we were right and you were wrong?

no. that is no way to gain support.

i will stand with the young women that are speaking out. holding hands. with a huge smile on my face

hlthe2b

(106,075 posts)
78. ^^this^^
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 03:23 PM
Feb 2014

While I'm pleased Skinner is engaging with us--something we've not seen in the past, DD underscores the core issue that has not been addressed...

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
96. I just saw this. This is it, exactly!
Sat Mar 1, 2014, 04:03 PM
Mar 2014

That "hole" is, in itself, discrimination. You don't teach from within a discriminatory environment. You wouldn't go to a Bill O'Reilly rally to teach about racial tolerance, you wouldn't go to a fundamentalist Christian site to teach how to support LGBT marriage rights.

You can't expect to learn about women's rights in a community that refuses to state that misogyny is not acceptable to that community.

I am also dismayed that we are all giving Skinner a pat on the back simply because, though he usually ignores questions on feminist issues, this time he engaged in the discussion when asked directly. That's a table scrap.

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
79. I hear what you are saying, and I AM encouraged that so many people came out and
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 06:05 PM
Feb 2014

stated their distaste for the boys club. That was a great positive about this.

I just can't help but think that part of the problem is that everywhere we go, there is still the attitude that these are arguable points. They shouldn't be arguable.

If there were just one place that we encountered in our daily travels where true progressive values were honored, where disrespect toward women, LGBT people, or people of color, was simply not tolerated, imagine how revolutionary that would be. If there were just one place with a low threshold for what was considered disrespectful to these groups, imagine how instructive it would be to see THAT in action.

But wishes are not horses, and you are right to point out the positives that did come from it.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
80. Now they've moved on to African American members
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 06:30 PM
Feb 2014

Witness the threads in GD. Don't you dare mention white privilege. It hurts my feelings, and my ego is more important than your experiences of racism. They seek to deny privilege, yet in doing so make a stunning demonstration of how vast theirs is.

MadrasT

(7,237 posts)
82. I don't know how anyone can deny white privilege.
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 08:20 PM
Feb 2014

You either have to have your head so far up your own ass you can't see, or it is pure trolling.

MadrasT

(7,237 posts)
83. Jesus the whitesplaining going on is disgusting.
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 09:00 PM
Feb 2014

It is as bad or worse than as the misogynistic spew last week. And it is by and large the same damn crowd.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Squinch

(52,524 posts)
97. And they can't imagine that anyone should be able to have a thought that doesn't revolve around them
Sat Mar 1, 2014, 04:44 PM
Mar 2014

Like two year olds.

sufrommich

(22,871 posts)
84. I'm embarrassed for the idiots in those
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 09:17 PM
Feb 2014

threads. There sure are a lot of masks coming off around DU and what's exposed behind them is ugly as hell.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
85. i went in and perused one very long thread. ok, didnt bother perusing much. the very
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 09:40 PM
Feb 2014

suggestion to ignore white privilege and YET talk discrimination is beyond absurd.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
93. As if tiptoeing delicately around a complex and difficult issue accomplishes jack shit.
Fri Feb 28, 2014, 05:10 AM
Feb 2014

I have to assume that these people simply don't want racial issues discussed, period, but are trying to frame things in a more "politically correct" way so that they don't get banned.

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
86. I just saw white privilege called
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 10:36 PM
Feb 2014

"white privilege theory."

They downgraded it to a theory I guess.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
87. It frustrates me
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 10:40 PM
Feb 2014

that people like that even exist anymore let alone claim to be Democrats. Their sense of entitlement puts Mitt Romney to shame.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
91. One particular OP just makes me want to straight-up smack the guy across the face.
Fri Feb 28, 2014, 05:04 AM
Feb 2014

I'm not a violent person normally, nor do I generally endorse or condone violent behavior, but we all have our limits...

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
95. I feel that way about a couple of them
Fri Feb 28, 2014, 06:17 AM
Feb 2014

I'm simply done talking to some of those people. At best, it's a waste of energy. It goes downhill from there.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
88. I started a white privilege thread in GD
Thu Feb 27, 2014, 11:16 PM
Feb 2014
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024577556

Simply saying I stand with the members of color of DU and object to the denial of white privilege.

BainsBane

(54,697 posts)
89. Threads in GD today show that there is every bit as much tolerance
Fri Feb 28, 2014, 01:09 AM
Feb 2014

for racism as sexism on DU. I think what is happening is that since many of us are white, we haven't noticed the racism as much. It's there. I'm getting a lot of opposition to my thread that took the title verbatim from the one on objectification.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024577556

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
94. I think Skinner is well-intentioned, but he's still trying too hard to please everybody.
Fri Feb 28, 2014, 05:11 AM
Feb 2014

Sometimes you just have to draw a line in the sand, y'know?

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