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Tien1985

(920 posts)
Tue Feb 11, 2014, 07:14 AM Feb 2014

This woman has

Seemingly infinite patience writing about the conversation of survivors in the context of the Dylan Farrow media bashing. This is a conversation I have largely stayed out of because I do not have the eloquence or patience needed to refute the stupidity I've been seeing.

That said, I do want to give a trigger warning. She writes briefly, but openly about her experience and that may be hard to read.

http://www.feministhulk.net/3/post/2014/02/how-to-like-woody-allen-on-facebook.html

4 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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This woman has (Original Post) Tien1985 Feb 2014 OP
This part struck me in particular: cinnabonbon Feb 2014 #1
good essay. found this also helpful for those who unintentionally offend = Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #2
I'm not ready to read the piece linked in the OP, redqueen Feb 2014 #3
one thing I have learned Tuesday Afternoon Feb 2014 #4

cinnabonbon

(860 posts)
1. This part struck me in particular:
Tue Feb 11, 2014, 08:32 AM
Feb 2014

But, you might ask, isn’t the mudslinging going both ways? Shouldn’t the same standard be held to those attacking Woody Allen? Questions like that, while perhaps well-meaning, assume a symmetry in this debate that simply is not there. Woody Allen is in a position of power to which his accuser will never have access, and critiques of his character move against the grain of enormous cultural pressure, whereas the judgments made on Dylan Farrow’s language, memory, and self are supported by a larger social framework that shames and silences survivors of sexual abuse and assault. To put it more simply, we live in a culture whose social (not to mention legal) structures make dismissing a survivor incredibly easy, and confronting a predator nearly impossible.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
2. good essay. found this also helpful for those who unintentionally offend =
Tue Feb 11, 2014, 10:42 AM
Feb 2014

Be humble about the limitations of your good intention. If someone is hurt or triggered by your words, it isn’t because they failed to understand your intentions. It is because your intentions don’t have the power to shape the meaning of your words in the larger social world. For an excellent description of the problem of “intention,” see @chescaleigh’s video “Getting Called Out: How To Apologize.”



redqueen

(115,164 posts)
3. I'm not ready to read the piece linked in the OP,
Tue Feb 11, 2014, 02:23 PM
Feb 2014

but I do want to watch this later. Thanks for posting it.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
4. one thing I have learned
Tue Feb 11, 2014, 02:30 PM
Feb 2014

Last edited Wed Feb 12, 2014, 10:34 AM - Edit history (1)

just because I am not offended does not mean that it is not offensive to others.

Their feelings are just as relevant as mine.

Respect.

It works both ways.

I respect their feelings and, try to alter my behavior accordingly.

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