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Marthe48

(19,623 posts)
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:00 AM Oct 2024

UPDATE: My best friend passed away at 4 a.m.

Last edited Fri Oct 4, 2024, 03:26 PM - Edit history (1)

We have been friends for 67 years. She lived with chronic health problems her whole life. In spite of challenges that would have sidelined or floored anyone else, she persisted. She prevailed. She got a degree in Edu. She got a Masters in Psychology. She saved abused children, saved suicidal youngsters. She coached h.s. and community soccer teams. She was an artist. She was a superb photographer. She loved animals and lived her whole life with special pets. She went to hospice Sat. I loved her like a sister.

UPDATE 10/04/24: I got home today after staying at my friend's house since last Friday. On Monday, I took her kitty, who is about 18, to the vet to get her updated vacs, bloodwork and so on. I saw my friend for the last time that evening. She was sleeping away, but I told her the kitty had a good checkup, and all was well. When I came home today, I brought the kitty with me. We will keep each other company now. This is the same kitty I wrote about in the Pets Forum, who wakes me all night. I'm wondering if she'll change her schedule to mine, actually hoping she will. She did well on the ride down from Cleveland, 2 1/2 hours. I got her in the house and uncrated. I got her litter box set up, her food and water dishes filled and set out. She has been getting oriented ever since we got here, tail up. She is sleeping on one of my friend's teeshirts now.

Thank you all for the loving support. It has been tough, and we are all in disbelief that my friend is gone. I'm tired from all of the travelling. Being tired softens the emotions and maybe when I am rested up, I won't feel as sad.

78 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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UPDATE: My best friend passed away at 4 a.m. (Original Post) Marthe48 Oct 2024 OP
I'm so sorry XanaDUer2 Oct 2024 #1
My sincere condolences. Dennis Donovan Oct 2024 #2
I'm very sorry... onecaliberal Oct 2024 #3
I am sorry--for your loss and that I never met such a special person... hlthe2b Oct 2024 #4
Oh, I'm so sorry FirstLight Oct 2024 #5
Thank you for telling us about her. mahina Oct 2024 #6
Deepest sympathy. 50 Shades Of Blue Oct 2024 #7
I'm so very sorry DarthDem Oct 2024 #8
Please accept my sincerest condolences, Marthe48. Diamond_Dog Oct 2024 #9
I'm so very sorry cate94 Oct 2024 #10
She sounds like an incredible woman and human being! Tadpole Raisin Oct 2024 #11
Marthe, I am so so sorry. irisblue Oct 2024 #12
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it is to lose a best friend. lark Oct 2024 #13
My deepest condolences. chowder66 Oct 2024 #14
I am so sorry for the loss of your amazing friend. pandr32 Oct 2024 #15
Condolences Picaro Oct 2024 #16
My heart goes out to you. Collimator Oct 2024 #17
I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. May every livetohike Oct 2024 #18
Sincerest condolences, Marthe48. ancianita Oct 2024 #19
So sorry for your loss Marthe48. Her spirit remains alive with you. Peace. c-rational Oct 2024 #20
I'm so sorry. LisaM Oct 2024 #21
I am sorry about that, Marthe48. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Oct 2024 #22
My heart is with you. Hope22 Oct 2024 #23
My heartfelt condolences to you, Marthe48. virgdem Oct 2024 #24
RIP to your friend. Elessar Zappa Oct 2024 #25
I'm so sorry you friend has passed sdfernando Oct 2024 #26
So sorry angrychair Oct 2024 #27
I am so very sorry. Your friend sounds like a really, really special person. May her spirit live into eternity. LoisB Oct 2024 #28
A lot us moving on over to the other side. I am sorry to hear of your loss. She seems like a golden friend. marble falls Oct 2024 #29
One of her other long time friends and I Marthe48 Oct 2024 #30
Very seldom we have loss where there is not some gain. marble falls Oct 2024 #34
I am so sorry KT2000 Oct 2024 #31
My sincerest condolences, Martha. rockbluff botanist Oct 2024 #32
Peace world wide wally Oct 2024 #33
So very sorry for your loss IbogaProject Oct 2024 #35
Sad to hear your best friend passed away V850i Oct 2024 #36
Holding you in my heart.... a painful loss. n/t TygrBright Oct 2024 #37
Your friendship was a special gift to you both. ❤️ MLAA Oct 2024 #38
I am very sorry you will miss that life well lived. n/t. NNadir Oct 2024 #39
So sorry, Marthe48. 70sEraVet Oct 2024 #40
How very, very sad people Oct 2024 #41
So sorry, Marthe48. Deep condolences to you and all of her loved ones. littlemissmartypants Oct 2024 #42
Sending all sympathy Lulu KC Oct 2024 #43
Rest in power, brave soul. I m so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. niyad Oct 2024 #44
She sounds like a wonderful person. I'm so sorry for your loss. Mad_Dem_X Oct 2024 #45
Long-time friends become family and loved just as much. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lonestarblue Oct 2024 #46
My condolences. May she Rest in Peace and May her Memory be a Blessing. 🙏 iluvtennis Oct 2024 #47
Sincere condolences, Marthe48 gademocrat7 Oct 2024 #48
I am so sorry, Marthe48, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. HeartsCanHope Oct 2024 #49
Sorry for your loss DemonGoddess Oct 2024 #50
Life is hard sometimes, BlueTexasMan Oct 2024 #51
I'm so sorry for your loss wendyb-NC Oct 2024 #52
My deepest condolences on your loss Marthe48 Docreed2003 Oct 2024 #53
🥲 claudette Oct 2024 #54
Im so sorry BigMin28 Oct 2024 #55
So sorry for your loss. Sounds like an amazing person. Take care Marthe48. Evolve Dammit Oct 2024 #56
I'm sorry for your loss of your best friend Clouds Passing Oct 2024 #57
I am so very sorry for your loss Ruby the Liberal Oct 2024 #58
Deepest condolences. sinkingfeeling Oct 2024 #59
Deepest condolences, Marthe. SheltieLover Oct 2024 #60
this is a very lovely tribute to her Skittles Oct 2024 #61
Saddened for you. cachukis Oct 2024 #62
So sorry for your loss. Saoirse9 Oct 2024 #63
That is an impressively long friendship. TNNurse Oct 2024 #64
I am so sorry, Marthe UpInArms Oct 2024 #65
I am so sorry for your loss. Iris Oct 2024 #66
She's at peace babylonsister Oct 2024 #67
I'm so sorry for your loss. mountain grammy Oct 2024 #68
I'm so sorry. area51 Oct 2024 #69
Friends for 67 years. That's such a remarkable statement! calimary Oct 2024 #70
We had our moments Marthe48 Oct 2024 #73
Mine passed years ago tavernier Oct 2024 #71
So sirry Figarosmom Oct 2024 #72
I'm so sorry for your loss. barbtries Oct 2024 #74
Oh my word. MontanaMama Oct 2024 #75
She will be remembered for her good deeds and a kind heart Bayard Oct 2024 #76
"" AllaN01Bear Oct 2024 #77
Sorry for loss. She seemed like a very special person. OverBurn Oct 2024 #78

FirstLight

(14,369 posts)
5. Oh, I'm so sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:06 AM
Oct 2024

This could have been me and my bestie...we've known eachother since we were 12.

There's nothng I can say except thank you for sharing about her>>> and if you need to continue talking about her, feel free to post more

mahina

(19,213 posts)
6. Thank you for telling us about her.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:09 AM
Oct 2024

hoping for comfort for your heart. Your love lights her path home. Aloha e Marthe48.

DarthDem

(5,374 posts)
8. I'm so very sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:11 AM
Oct 2024

She sounds like a wonderful person, who lives on in your memory. May she cross gently.

Diamond_Dog

(35,474 posts)
9. Please accept my sincerest condolences, Marthe48.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:13 AM
Oct 2024

She sounds like a wonderful person and was lucky to have you as her best friend. May she rest in peace.

Tadpole Raisin

(1,561 posts)
11. She sounds like an incredible woman and human being!
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:19 AM
Oct 2024

What a privilege that you two were lifelong friends and you can tell us about her. We should all be so lucky.

A life well lived! My condolences.

lark

(24,410 posts)
13. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it is to lose a best friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:24 AM
Oct 2024

I lost my best friend of 50 years last year. I loved her so much! She lived in CA and I live in FL, but we still talked 3-5 hours per week, minimum. Days with a bunch of tcf shit, we'd talk for hours! She had a troubled son with mental issues, just like I do. We so got each other and relied on each other for solace when no one else understood what we were going through. She was a light in my life and it hurts so much to have it extinguished! I miss her so badly! At first, I was all caught up in her death and how the stupid doctors killed her and it was preventable. Her family didn't want to pursue the case, so I let it be. Now, I mainly miss sharing things with her, thinking about how we'd laugh at JD and tcf and call them weird! It's not easy getting old and dealing with loss.

Picaro

(1,862 posts)
16. Condolences
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:29 AM
Oct 2024

She sounds like she was a wonderful person. She left a positive impact on life and the people that knew and loved her.

Collimator

(1,875 posts)
17. My heart goes out to you.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:29 AM
Oct 2024

My best friend is, when needed, my sister, my mother or my friend. She lives in a time zone six hours ahead, so I often call her at 4 am.

I couldn't imagine not having her as a sounding board, so your grief is very real to me, Marthe. May something of her live on in you, rather than a part of you dying with her. You KNOW that is what she would want.

All comfort to you in this time of loss.

livetohike

(23,115 posts)
18. I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. May every
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:33 AM
Oct 2024

good memory of your times together comfort you and make you smile. The world lost a special person .

ancianita

(39,082 posts)
19. Sincerest condolences, Marthe48.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:36 AM
Oct 2024

May your heart heal and you find peace in the time ahead.

LisaM

(28,837 posts)
21. I'm so sorry.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:38 AM
Oct 2024

I just went through a similar loss, though we had not been friends as long. Now I do the thing where I look for "signs" from her, and there have been plenty.

I hope that you see things every day that remind you of her and if your friendship. It will help keep it alive for you, I hope.

Hope22

(3,290 posts)
23. My heart is with you.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:41 AM
Oct 2024

She sounds like an amazing soul. The sisters that we choose live in our hearts forever. Love and more love to you. 💗💗💗🙏🏼💐

virgdem

(2,220 posts)
24. My heartfelt condolences to you, Marthe48.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:48 AM
Oct 2024

The loss of such a special friend Is so difficult. Your friend persevered in the face of multiple challenges. She was a good friend to you and will be missed.💔

sdfernando

(5,473 posts)
26. I'm so sorry you friend has passed
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:48 AM
Oct 2024

She sounds like such a wonderful and caring person that enriched the lives of so many people, including you.

angrychair

(9,981 posts)
27. So sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:54 AM
Oct 2024

I hope her memory lives in your heart and those that lived her forever.

Peace be with you.

LoisB

(9,081 posts)
28. I am so very sorry. Your friend sounds like a really, really special person. May her spirit live into eternity.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:55 AM
Oct 2024

marble falls

(62,717 posts)
29. A lot us moving on over to the other side. I am sorry to hear of your loss. She seems like a golden friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:55 AM
Oct 2024

Marthe48

(19,623 posts)
30. One of her other long time friends and I
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:00 PM
Oct 2024

want to stay in touch and see what else we have in common beside our wonderful friend

rockbluff botanist

(360 posts)
32. My sincerest condolences, Martha.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:05 PM
Oct 2024

"Don’t Cry Because It’s Over; Smile Because It Happened."

This is a quote from Dr. Seuss that I hold close to my heart, dear Martha48. It has helped me often.

IbogaProject

(3,912 posts)
35. So very sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:15 PM
Oct 2024

Offering my condolences to you. Loosing a good friend is tough, loosing a best friend is similar to loosing a partner or a close family member.

V850i

(78 posts)
36. Sad to hear your best friend passed away
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:22 PM
Oct 2024

I truly believe we are never gone, time has no meaning and you are still together now and always. I had a near death experience several years ago and see us almost like a root on a plant. Our experiences feed the plant but we are down in the dirt and don’t see our whole self or the sky and sun above us. Take care and just try to enjoy the memories.

MLAA

(18,755 posts)
38. Your friendship was a special gift to you both. ❤️
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:40 PM
Oct 2024

What an incredible, rare person. She contributes so much to others during her lifetime. She is an example to us all to give more of our time and abilities, whatever they may be, to others. A true inspiration.

people

(717 posts)
41. How very, very sad
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:01 PM
Oct 2024

She sounds like a wonderful person. You have both been so lucky to have one another for best friends. I will be thinking about you . . .

littlemissmartypants

(26,105 posts)
42. So sorry, Marthe48. Deep condolences to you and all of her loved ones.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:35 PM
Oct 2024

I hope you find comfort in the memories she left behind.


❤️

Lulu KC

(5,491 posts)
43. Sending all sympathy
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:39 PM
Oct 2024

Grief is sometimes like swimming through mud. You were a wonderful friend. She will rest in peace and in power.

niyad

(121,193 posts)
44. Rest in power, brave soul. I m so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:40 PM
Oct 2024

The line "There's a hole in the world tonight" from (I think) the Eagles, is in my head. Please know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need.

Lonestarblue

(12,057 posts)
46. Long-time friends become family and loved just as much. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:47 PM
Oct 2024

May your lifetime of memories bring you peace.

gademocrat7

(11,253 posts)
48. Sincere condolences, Marthe48
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 02:08 PM
Oct 2024

on the loss of your dear friend. May she Rest in Peace. Sending you hugs of support and love.

HeartsCanHope

(768 posts)
49. I am so sorry, Marthe48, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:06 PM
Oct 2024

I will be thinking of you, her family, and her other friends as you grieve. Take care.

BlueTexasMan

(179 posts)
51. Life is hard sometimes,
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:40 PM
Oct 2024

but you shared joy with her and love. Sometimes life is beautiful also. Peace be with you.

wendyb-NC

(3,918 posts)
52. I'm so sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:49 PM
Oct 2024

She sounds like an amazing person. I know you will never forget her. It is hard to loose someone you've known, just about all your life. She was family, maybe closer than family. My heart goes out to you. Peace.

BigMin28

(1,540 posts)
55. Im so sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 05:07 PM
Oct 2024

The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal"

May her memory bring you comfort.

Ruby the Liberal

(26,338 posts)
58. I am so very sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 05:42 PM
Oct 2024

Thank you for sharing her amazing life experience with us. May her memory be a blessing.

TNNurse

(7,185 posts)
64. That is an impressively long friendship.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 07:22 PM
Oct 2024

I will be thinking of you, because you will need time to grieve. You have lost a family member.

babylonsister

(171,732 posts)
67. She's at peace
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 07:47 PM
Oct 2024

but I feel your pain. I lost my twin at 67. I still think it's not fair selfishly.

calimary

(84,860 posts)
70. Friends for 67 years. That's such a remarkable statement!
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 09:39 PM
Oct 2024

I wish everybody had a long-running friendship like that.

I can only imagine how much you miss your friend. You can talk about it here and gain the wisdom and sympathy that is so easy to find. Talk about it. Share how you feel. Every one of us can relate. And it WILL help you get through it.

I like to quote DU’s own Skittles, who said “someone’s always here.” Keeping that in mind has been very helpful to me during some difficult times (including at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning). We’re here. Across the time zones. Someone IS INDEED always here. And here when you just need somebody to talk to.


Marthe48

(19,623 posts)
73. We had our moments
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 10:01 PM
Oct 2024

We'd have a fight, over who knows what, and swear we'd never speak to each again. Her mom, or my mom or her little sister would referee and get us to make up. We laughed about those times often.

tavernier

(13,317 posts)
71. Mine passed years ago
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 09:42 PM
Oct 2024

And I still talk to her about fun stuff and important stuff and silly stuff. Stuff I can’t share with anyone else.

So sorry.

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