The final good-bye, finally.

[ChazII]

My son passed March 6, 2020. This Saturday, on what would have been his 37th birthday had he lived, will be his celebration of life service. Covid prevented the first two attempts to have the ceremony. Masks will be handed to people who are attending. The sanctuary is large enough to have people sit every other row if need be.

I was able to have his ashes placed earlier this year with 10 family members and close friends. Now the final chapter is at hand and friends and family will be gathered for the final good-bye.

If you have the chance to read the book or watch the movie, Wonder, do so. Almost everything that happens to Auggie happened to my son. In your mind's eye see Disney version of Quasimodo. That is my son, too.

[sheshe2]

1. I have no words.

I had to look up the story about Auggie.

May your son RIP and you and yours find a sense of closure. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy, Chaz.

[MLAA]

2. Sending you love 💗💗💕💕💖.

[MLAA]

3. Sending you love 💗💗💕💕💖.

[3catwoman3]

4. Every day of this long wait must have felt endless.

I hope the chance to be together with others who cherished him will be nurturing for you.

[ChazII]

6. It did seem endless.

My son was loved by his friends. I wanted as many people as possible to come and share in the ceremony. Living in Arizona who knows what
will happen as far as Covid goes. The people who have rsvp'd on Facebook I know have had both shots. Most of them still wear a mask when in public.

18 months is a long time. Jay's birthday of 9-11 was 16 years before it became a day connected with tragedy. All of us, not just me who needs to have this final good-bye.

[marybourg]

7. So sorry, Chaz.

[littlemissmartypants]

8. So sorry. I hope you find comfort in the happy memories he left behind. ❤

[Beacool]

9. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your son must have been a special person. A celebration of his life sounds like a great idea.

May he rest in peace.

[alwaysinasnit]

10. ...

[Hamlette]

11. so sorry, must be so hard. Sending you a hug.

[cate94]

12. I'm so very sorry.

My niece is getting married on 9/11 this year. I am looking forward to having some joy associated with this date. I promise to think of your son and hold you in my heart on that date. It’s unimaginable to lose a child, and likewise have their birthdate become associated with national pain. I’ve not seen Wonder or Quasimodo, but I will keep it in mind.

[calimary]

13. Sending you strength and love.

I’m glad you posted here, ChazII. Thank you so much for the trust as you share your pain. It’s good when one shares grief. You do not mourn alone. And you shouldn’t ever have to.

[irisblue]

14. 🕯️

[ChazII]

15. To all my fellow DUer's

thank you for the comments above.

Jay, like Beau Biden, died from the same brain tumor that took the lives of senators Kennedy and McCain.

[Duppers]

16. ....

[FreepFryer]

17. What a good Mom. Wishing you happy memories and a warm morning sun. (Nt)

[ChazII]

20. Living here in Phoenix

we will most certainly have the warm sun not only in the morning but all day. Your compliment and wishes are greatly appreciated. I will be volunteering at our small satellite food bank this morning so I will be able to enjoy the sunlight this Wednesday morning.

[mopinko]

18. oh honey. i'm glad you are finally able to actually lay him to rest.

the way this mess has disrupted the whole dying and grieving process is something that has soooo gotten under my skin. it just hurts my heart to hear stories like this.
but i am glad that you are finally getting it settled. i'm sure you are too.

all love my dear. there is nothing worse than losing a child. at any age.

[ChazII]

22. It has been a difficult time for those

who have lost a loved one. You stated it perfectly, "disrupted the whole dying and grieving process". It put an entire different spin - not the best word- on the grieving cycle. I remember the first thing I was told was to not isolate. Then here in Arizona things shut down two weeks later. Of course by this time most of the nation was already self-isolating. Not a mixed message and isolating was necessary and I still do isolating because of the covid numbers. Still the isolating doesn't help when it comes to the contact needed to heal from loss.

To quote Star Trek, "The needs of the many outweigh the need of the one." I mangled the quote but the Star Trek folks will not what I mean. Friends who have had shots come by for visits. We order take out and enjoy a meal on the outdoor patio from time to time.

Yes, it hurts this final good-bye but it is good to finally get it settled.

[mopinko]

23. yeah, the only way forward is through.

a mantra of mine.

[ChazII]

24. Your mantra is shared by

many when it comes to grieving. It is the healthiest way to deal with grief. Don't stuff it work through it.

[mopinko]

26. even just sit with it.

i did a lot of that this last year. shit i cant change and cant fix. that i just have to accept.
my other mantra is- it is what it is.

also, i am all flaws, help together by good intentions.
totally me.

[ChazII]

27. You have common

sense and your other mantra is one that I also use. Thank you for your support.

[Atticus]

19. For what it's worth, you occupy a place in my heart today. nt

[ChazII]

21. Being held in someone's heart

is worth a great deal. I call it a blessing.

[JudyM]

25. My heart goes out to you, Chaz... many of us will be thinking softly of you and Jay on Saturday.

I hope the celebration brings more sweet memories of your beloved son.
❤️ ❤️