Trump awards self Medal of Honor for hypothetically saving everyone (Satire)

[47of74]

Thing is I could see Herr Orange doing this

President Donald Trump awarded himself the nation’s highest award for bravery on Tuesday for hypothetically saving countless lives during a recent shooting at a South Florida high school, sources confirmed today.

The president acted with “remarkable courage” to theoretically subdue the shooter, according to his award citation for the Medal of Honor, and “reflected great credit upon himself in keeping with the highest traditions of the Trump Organization.”

“You don’t know until you test it, but I think, I really believe I would have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Trump said on Monday, criticizing the response of police officers on the scene. “They weren’t exactly Medal of Honor winners, but I am, believe me.”

Actor Mark Wahlberg, who hypothetically rushed the terrorists and saved everyone on 9/11, agreed with the president’s assessment.

[packman]

1. With double clusters of Bone Spur

[MustLoveBeagles]

2. The sad part is that I can see him pulling this stunt for real