Pets
Related: About this forumStudy Confirms That You Can Really Communicate With Your Cat By Doing This
Cats have a reputation for aloofness (and flooffiness), but if you and your feline friend aren't bonding, maybe you're just not speaking their language.
Never fear research from 2020 has shown that it's not so difficult. You just need to smile at them more. Not the human way, by baring your teeth, but the cat way, by narrowing your eyes and blinking slowly.
By observing cat-human interactions, scientists confirmed that this expression makes cats both familiar and strange approach and be more receptive to humans.
https://www.sciencealert.com/study-confirms-that-you-can-really-communicate-with-your-cat-by-doing-this
Anyone who doesn't think a cat smiles back has never known a cat.
Ocelot II
(120,684 posts)Warpy
(113,130 posts)I posted it for them.
always acknowledge the tail. Cats communicate with their tails. ways like rubbing your leg with it, wrapping it around you. When my cat walk up to me, I always slide its tail between two fingers. It's like saying, "Hello". I have one that wags its tail when it rubs up against me - a sort of vibration..
One meows at me, so I meow back at the same pitch and inflection. Careful with this one, because this can result in minutes of back and forth meows..
Also, if something scares your cat, stand between it what it is scared of. This establishes you as the defender. And don't walk away until the scary thing is gone.
wryter2000
(47,384 posts)She'd do it while she was sitting on my lap.
And with strange cats and dogs, I always offer my fingers to be sniffed. With my arm extended, they can approach that small part of me.
forgotmylogin
(7,673 posts)It can serve as antennae, extra limb, communicate mood, and is a counterbalancing tool for acrobatics.
Tail up is good mood, curious, happy. Tail down is concerned, frustrated, confused; swiping tail is either frustration or the cat preparing their balance to stalk or pounce. Sometimes (with a cat familiar to you) gently brushing the tail up into the happy position is like telling them "hey, cheer up". Cats can use their tail almost as a rear-view mirror to swipe the space behind them checking for retreat options or another cat sneaking up on them - similar to how whiskers alert them whether they space they're intruding into is too narrow for them or not.
I noticed my female cat expresses affection with a tail-wrap around my leg. It's like she's hugging or putting a gentle arm around me like a buddy. Sometime's it's quick as she passes, almost like you'd touch the shoulder of a friend when moving behind their chair. She also really wants to be part of my yoga stretching - she'll fuss around on all sides of the mat, sometimes looking for a place to lie down alongside, sometimes mimicking my position, sometimes she'll pace like an instructor, whipping her tail around on all sides, tapping everywhere on my body like she's checking or correcting my positional form. It would seem a cat in the way would be annoying, but she totally understands if she's laying on the side I want to roll toward and feels me move she's up like a flash to find another comfortable spot to sprawl.
I had another cat years ago that almost seemed to be able to sense tension and would indicate this. Once when lying on the ground she carefully walked up and balanced on me with front paws and back paws on each of my hip sockets and started kneading and shifting the weight of her back feet literally massaging my hip sockets as if she were concerned for my flexibility.
The Blue Flower
(5,633 posts)Works on people, too.
chowder66
(9,805 posts)wryter2000
(47,384 posts)1) look directly at the other person, 2) look away briefly, 3) look back at the person, esp. with a smile.
hippywife
(22,767 posts)Not deliberately trying to train them, just talking to them. It's amazing the vocabulary they pick up over time.
Warpy
(113,130 posts)and was totally clueless when it came to English. So I tried him on Spanish and he understood perfectly. He never did learn English, so I learned a few common things in Spanish. He was the only cat who ever tried to pet me in return, reaching up a velvet paw and stroking my hair. He was also a curmudgeon, extremely grouchy when something disturbed his beauty sleep. I miss him.
Walleye
(35,265 posts)I guess that was about when I discovered that the observation of animals was a good way to learn about humans
LakeArenal
(29,772 posts)We have a patio right there and this dog is ear piercing.
Yelling hasnt worked but I have found a stare down is starting to work. The dog always turns away first.
Warpy
(113,130 posts)In my case, it was a portly and very loud basset hound in a trailer park. I plied her with dog treats and eventually trained her to respond to "Hush, (dog name)." Her owner was amused and we became friends.
Stare downs also work, but I rather liked the dog so it was dog treats instead.
wryter2000
(47,384 posts)I remember from when I was a kid that if I tried to look our dog in the eyes, the dog would always look away. I was the dominant creature, so he/she wouldn't maintain eye contact.
So, you're doing the right thing with that dog. It translates "I'm in charge here. Cut the crap."
Siwsan
(27,268 posts)Sometimes Madoc gives me a one eyed slow blink. Not sure what that means.
Sky Jewels
(8,819 posts)Kitties:
Sky Jewels
(8,819 posts)When a majestic lion in the zoo squinted back at me, I felt so honored.
Goddessartist
(2,067 posts)Midnight, who is on my lap, purrs 'yes'.
iscooterliberally
(3,010 posts)This is great advice. Thanks!
Permanut
(6,625 posts)I'll try it on Tiger, the Magnificent Most Excellent Majestic Emperor of the entire block.
Permanut
(6,625 posts)ShazzieB
(18,577 posts)I love, love, love the Cheshire Cat! 😃
BumRushDaShow
(141,769 posts)(and I have done it with my sisters' cats - it's like an "I'm at peace with you" gesture) along with their love of checking out a new box.
Easterncedar
(3,479 posts)She and her brother had been neglected during the traumatic final illness of their owner and were delivered to my house in pillowcases. They were both quite upset, but especially little Juniper, about 3 years old.
It was on the second day, I think, when I gave it a try. She was watching from under a chair. I was very surprised at how immediately the eye-narrowing and slow blinking worked. She relaxed right away and was in my lap in minutes.
I had her for 14 years and miss her still.
oldsoftie
(13,538 posts)In my totally unscientific research over the years, every woman I've known who opened up to me about having an abusive spouse/partner was with a man who hated cats but loved dogs. I would ask them.
I figure its because a dog will OBEY all the time but a cat will obey if he FEELS like it. Abusive men dont like that independent shit.
Easterncedar
(3,479 posts)That prove the obvious about animals, like my favorite: they feel emotions!
I guess thats the nature of science. But
they could sound less astonished by it.
Leith
(7,854 posts)Waggling your head, either by simple nodding or moving your face in a figure 8 is a very friendly gesture.
My favorite is The Breep: trill your tongue like the Spanish R while saying b-r-r-r-eeeep! with a rising tone.
My cats liked it when I purred at them: the same trilled R, voiceless, best when done like imitating a cat's breathing.
***
A question: I have always held my cats in a way that I have never seen anyone hold a cat. My left hand held in front of me palm up. Kitty sits on my left hand while putting their front paws on my right arm, my right hand holds their body close to mine. I don't know if I described that well, so think of it as kitty saying his prayers.
This has a couple advantages - it's comfortable for kitty and you are in a perfect position to control the cat if it gets spooked. Just pay attention for the slight tensing up that tells you kitty is ready to bolt so that you can get a firm but gentle grip on their wrists and ankles and your right hand holds the cat's body to your won.
The only way I have seen others hold cats is (a) like a baby, which many cats don't like to stay in very long, or
(b) arm around the rib cage with all their legs hanging in the air, which looks very uncomfortable. I certainly would not like being held that way.
Does anyone else hold their cat the way I do?
progressoid
(50,734 posts)3catwoman3
(25,397 posts)She bonded with my husband almost instantly, and when he hold her like this, she relaxes completely and stares up at him adoringly with her big blue eyes. He was hooked within hours.