and not socialized at all. Not with humans and not even with other cats or her litter mates. She was the runt that they pushed around. Her human was negligent at best.
So, when I tried to pet Ember in the beginning, she hissed and tried to bite me. It took weeks to get her used to being touched by a human. She stopped hissing when she discovered that she liked having her head petted. But that's as far as she would go, except at night when she tried to nurse my earlobes (smooth skin surrounded by "fur" ).
Eventually she started grooming me at night. But she still made sudden, nasty attacks on my hands without warning. Human hands had hurt her in her birth home, so hands were "the enemy."
Now, at 7 years old, Ember nudges my hands to pet her. I can initiate petting, but have to let her see and sniff my hand first. If she wants to be petted, she will lean into my hand. If not, she turns her head away.
She still does not like to be held for more than a minute and runs if I reach out to pick her up. That will never change, I guess.
But she loves to sit next to me on the couch (NEVER on my lap). She loves to rub my face when I sit at my desk, gets downright obnoxious and insistent about It. She cuddles at night only as long as I am awake to pet her. When I start dozing off, she moves away, but still stays nearby.
Carys might always prefer to be in charge of petting and being held. A part of her might remain "feral" enough to feel safest when she controls the interaction. But she is definitely more affectionate than a feral.
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