Our adoption failed

[Dr. Shepper]

Oscar, our 16yo cat passed away last May and we were ready to add another fur baby to our family. We have a 6yo male orange tabby - total personality - who gets along well with other cats.

So after looking through the shelter pics and reading histories, we ended up adopting a 4yo DLH cat six weeks ago. The shelter thought he was fine with other cats. He had been at a solo cat foster for three weeks before we brought him home.

I am used to introducing cats (had many cats and am a vet) so I knew it could take time and kept the cats apart the first day or so. When they finally met, the new cat attacked the old cat. Not a normal attack either - ears back and growling and then a swipe or two - full on tackle with arms raised like a hunter.

Of course I separated them (separate floors) and decided to take it even slower. They could see each other when the door was open to the upstairs.

After a week, I got COVID and isolated with the new kitty and bonded, naturally. Fell in love.

We kept trying to introduce the cats once a week for the next five weeks and thought we were getting somewhere. The kitten could be in the same room with the old cat and totally ignore him.

Unfortunately, this last weekend the new cat went back to attack mode again (with no warning) and we had to make the decision to take him back to the foster’s. We know he would make a sweet companion but probably needs to be in an only cat home.

I know we made the right decision, but I sure do miss him. I’ve also never had an adoption fail before. Wondering if I should have tried harder, given it even more time. My husband wanted to take him back after the first attack and kind of blames me for holding out long enough for me (and my kiddo) to fall in love.

The shelter said we could call and check in on him.

[3catwoman3]

1. That's very sad. It doesn't take long to get attached.

In one of the many cat lover threads that are such a delight here on DU, I once commented that it takes me about 30 seconds to fall in love with a kitten.

One of the responses was, "Why so long?"

[Dr. Shepper]

3. Exactly

I practically fall in love with cats on first sight.

[FalloutShelter]

2. I feel you.

Couple of years ago I fostered a great little pittie. She was living in my detached studio… and I fell in love. She was sooo sweet and a real love bug… but I could not integrate her with my other two dogs. She attacked them and once in a stairwell…violently.
I was heartbroken, but a nice young couple adopted her and she blossomed in a one dog situation.
I’m not cut out for fostering. I just want to keep EVERY animal.
You did the right thing.

[Dr. Shepper]

4. I love that she has a happy ending

I hope that for my little guy too.

[tblue37]

5. I could never foster, because I know I would end up keeping them all.