Slow progress with Carys, but that's OK

[Siwsan]

She still gets held and scritched, and that triggers her purring. When she's ready to get down, I put her back on the floor. She sits in the hallway and stares at me. When I head her way she moves, but not nearly as far or fast as she used to.

She's holding her own at meal time, too.

I have some feline calming spray that I might try using in the places she sits. And who knows. She might just be one of those fur babies who just isn't in to being held.

[Aussie105]

1. Some cats are like that.

Some love physical contact with humans, others put up with it because you are the source of food.

Give her space.

[TygrBright]

2. The Feline Overlord is a "don't hold me" kitty.

He likes being around us. He has no problem asking for skritches and pets, noodging us patiently and offering a chin or a back. He even likes a (short) morning cuddle on Mommy's lap in bed, including tummy rub, but it's over when HE says it's over.

He spends a fair amount of time on Daddy's lap during the day, especially in the 2-3 hours before meal times. Sometimes when we're sitting together watching a video, he'll come up and drape himself over one or the other of us, soliciting a few pets, and then hopping back onto his perch behind the sofa, where he can snoopervise us.

But do NOT pick him up, and DON'T mistake a "cuddle me, pet me" invitation as a "hold me" invitation. Pick him up in your arms and it's immediately Squirm City "LEMME DOWN!! NAOOOOW!!!"

You're right, some cats just aren't into being held. Doesn't mean they don't appreciate their staff.

affirmatively,
Bright

[3catwoman3]

6. I have often wondered how I might feel about some Brobdingnagian...

...giants, even loving and benevolent ones, scooping me up in their arms at times not of my choosing.

[FuzzyRabbit]

3. My kitty cat is 10 years old and does not like cuddling at all.

But he enjoys being near me most of his waking hours, and likes being petted and loves head butting my hands. He also licks my hands and arms, and occasionally kisses my nose.

I tried the longest time to pick him up, but no go. It wasn't until I let him call the shots that he started to warm up to me, and now we are buddies.

[Rebl2]

4. Have had

three cats that didn’t want to be on my lap or held for long. I never had a cat until my late 20’s in the late 80’s. My first cat was most definitely a lap cat and just thought all cats were like that. After her I soon learned that was not true.

[wnylib]

5. My previous cat, Leo, loved being held

and sitting on my lap. If not on my lap, he snuggled next to me and extended his paw to be physically in touch.

But Ember, who is now 7 years old (October birthday), has never liked being held or sitting on my lap. If I move toward her in a way that suggests that I might pick her up, she takes off in the other direction. But, if I just want to pet her and extend one hand to do it, she stands still for it. She is remarkably skilled at picking up my body language regarding whether I intend to just pet her or pick her up.

Yet, when she's in the mood to be petted, she nudges my hand for it, slides her head right under my hand, rubs my face non stop, and won't stop until she gets what she wants. When I watch a movie on TV, she often sprawls on the arm of the couch to be near me, but not right next to me.

At night, if I say, "Good night, Ember," she jumps up next to me when I lie down, rubs her face on mine, and snuggled up close, but only to get her head and ears petted. She purrs up a storm of contentment and affection on these occasions. If I don't immediately pet her, she nudges my hand with her paws or mouth until I do. While I am petting her, she puts her forehead against my arm or the pillow. This could go on forever as far as Ember is concerned, but when I get too tired to continue petting her and start to drift off to sleep, she jumps down and wanders off. Occasionally, she will go down by my feet to curl up and sleep.

But, during those petting sessions in bed, if I dare to put an arm around her to hold her close, she bites my hand or arm, leaps down, and will not return all night. She can't tolerate anything that feels confining to her.

Strangely, if I lie on my left side, she will give me a "massage," kneeding me with her paws. But ONLY if I am on my left side.

Some cats just can't tolerate the feeling of confinement from being held or snuggled too closely. They are affectionate and like the company of being nearby, but being held feels to them like losing control of their freedom.

[SlimJimmy]

7. One of our semi-ferals is like that.

He'll come up to eat and get very close. But he draws the line at petting. I've been at it about a year with him. As you well know, cats have their own schedule when it comes to choosing people.