my cousin is in the psych hospital and i'm worried about her

[fizzgig]

we talked last week and she told me she made a suicide attempt a couple of weeks ago. she's diagnosed bipolar and ocd and went off her meds (couldn't lecture her on that point, i've done it myself more than once), and ate all her benzos.

came home today to a facebook message that she's in the hospital until at least tuesday and probably longer. she's a smart, compassionate, wonderful and beautiful young woman but she's always been pretty wrapped around the axle. she reminds me a lot of me at that age, but it seems she's hit her break point far earlier than i did.

and i don't know how her parents are going to be with her over this. they're not necessarily bad people, i just don't know that they're terribly advanced. she's in pittsuburgh, i'm in colorado and i give her all the support i can, but i don't know that she's got anyone out there to lean on.

i don't know much about what's going on outside she's in the hospital and the police were involved. we talked for about 45 minutes last time we talked and i didn't catch anything off her to concern me, now i'm wondering what i missed. she's 12 or 13 years younger than i am and i try to set the best example i can. i just want her to be ok.

[elleng]

1. I want her to be ok too, fizz.

[fizzgig]

2. thanks, ellen

if i had more space and money, i'd ask her to come stay with me for a bit. i feel so helpless right now, but i have to keep from taking this on as my own.

[elleng]

3. Yes, of course, take care of yourself, fizz,

and hope the hospital and related care will help her.

[Locut0s]

4. Let her know that you are there for her at any time...

Give her your email address and let her know that she can confide in you about anything at any time. If she needs someone to talk to, just to vent, or a shoulder to cry on you are just an email away. But like you said don't take this on as your own or you will be harming your own emotional health. Be supportive and open, make her feel that she can trust you with anything and hopefully in time she will open up to you if she doesn't have others around her who support her. That's really all you can do. Right now being in the hospital is the best, safest place she can be, even if it's scary. The nurses who work the psych wards are often some of the kindest people you could hope to meet.

[fizzgig]

6. i've been open with her about my illness

i've told her about my time in the hospital and how it was one of the best things i've ever done. i am glad she is in a safe place and is getting the help that she needs, i just hope that she can have the emotional support she needs when she gets out.

[Locut0s]

10. That's difficult I agree...

When you are about someone and they are far away and you don't know if they have the resources they may need. But there's little you can do but offer support. I can only imagine what it would be like if my loved ones were not there to support me. You could tell her to seek out counselling and psychiatry, if you haven't already, but ultimately it would still be up to her to reach out and start going.

Sending good vibes, and hugs.

[applegrove]

5. Vibes to her.

[fizzgig]

7. thank you

[olddots]

8. I hope you can get a message to her

It will make her feel that someone cares ,do you know if her parents have seen her ? please keep us posted ,I have been in her place and sometimes the shrink that is supposed to make rounds don't show up or appointments get messed up ...I feel she will be fine but those places are hell but they also make you realize that it's good to be alive once you get out and you never want to go back.

[fizzgig]

9. her parents are in queens

and i don't know if they're headed out that way or not. i'll talk to dad tomorrow and see if he's talked to my uncle. gods know what my grandfather is going to have to say about this. gods know what my grandfather is going to say about this, i didn't tell him about my stay in the hospital. i hope he realizes she needs nothing but love right now.

it appears she might have internet access of some sort since she messaged me after she was in the hospital. when i went in, they took everything away from me, but i sent her a message to call me or get me the number so i can call her.

if i don't hear anything back, i'll get in touch with my aunt and uncle and see if i can get a number. of course, part of me is absolutely terrified they don't know yet and i don't want to be the one who let it slip.

[olddots]

11. Hope all goes well

and you can get a message to her and find out what is going on.

I have checked myself in twice as an adult and it was hard getting discharged because of the incompetent system .Hopefully she is safe and doing okay but just can't communicate it .

[fizzgig]

13. i'm going with she just can't communicate

there were only certain times that i could use the phone when i was doing my stint. i'm sorry you had bad experiences with your stints.

[mopinko]

12. she's really lucky to have you.

don't get too worried about talking to her while she is in. she will need you when she gets out.
hope she is ok. and her family, too.

[fizzgig]

14. thanks, mo

will talk to dad and see if he's talked to her folks yet (i'm guessing probably not), but will give them a call later if he hasn't. i half have a feeling she's going to need someone to stand up for her with the family and i certainly will do that.

[Denninmi]

15. I'm so sorry this is happening, Fizz.

Please don't second guess yourself -- you may not have had anything to miss. She could have been OK then, or she could have been covering really, really well, intentionally.

[Locut0s]

16. Very much this ^^^

When I was at my worst NO one could have told you how bad I was expect maybe my parents and I didn't reveal the worst of it even to them. People at school all thought I was a little shy maybe but otherwise a cool smart guy. They would have had absolutely no idea of the depth of the issues I was going through. Don't beat yourself up about not recognizing the symptoms.

[fizzgig]

17. i know this intellectually

but i just have to convince my heart of that.

[Denninmi]

18. Believe me ... I know all about that.

Hardest thing in the world to do.