Something to keep in mind when you visit a psychiatrist...

[Locut0s]

Just got back from my my recent appointment with my new psychiatrist all and all it's going well considering this is the guy who was rated so horribly online. He seems better than the last guy I saw. One thing though that I've heard many people complain about with psychiatrists is that they are condescending. I have two friends with serious emotional problems, worse than mine, and they both will likely never see a psychiatrist again because of this, they felt hurt or talked down to by the DR. I've seen people online say the same thing. This IS an issue however I also think that it's an argument made by people who are often not yet ready to see a psychiatrist. The truth is it's not going to be easy to see one, even a good one. Condescension IS an issue and they have no right to be down right rude or overly harsh on you. However you ARE going to be talking about difficult subjects and hearing things about yourself that you may not want to hear or deal with. And of course they have to keep their professional distance. Sometimes they will also be somewhat harsh and forceful because that's what they need to be to get the point across to you. People don't want to hear some of these things and it takes a little persuasion on the part of the DR sometimes.

The session I was just in we were taking about the fact that I am emotionally not mature. Intellectually I'm very mature, even beyond my years, but emotionally I stopped developing in some ways as a young kid. I'm a mix of young kid, teenager, and old wise man. It's not healthy and the most important thing is the various sides of me don't know how to properly talk to each other. Talking about this issue is difficult and yes he did seem kind of condescending at times but when I look back on it it's more that I don't want to FULLY accept the truth of the fact that I'm not anywhere near as mature as I should be in some areas and need to work hard on this. I take great pride in my intelligence, probably too much really, so it's hurtful to think of myself as underdeveloped in some other way. However luckily for me I already knew this aspect of myself, someone here on DU actually diagnosed me with this very issue. If I had not been already aware of it myself and had been confronted by the fact it would have been even more difficult. I wonder how many of the negative opinions people have of psychiatrists come from them pealing away layers and revealing things they aren't ready to deal with yet?

[Betsy Ross]

1. #1 Requirement for a psychiatrist: a sense of humour.

I can usually handle the rest if we can laugh together. Best of luck with your new doctor.

[Locut0s]

2. True that's very helpful...

I think in the end so long as you connect, be it through humour or something else, that's what's important. This guy can laugh a bit I can see, but he's a little too professional to joke with you. But I can see why that would be very nice.

[fizzgig]

7. mine has a great sense of humor

it's something my previous docs lacked.

[Denninmi]

3. From my limited experience, I would agree.

First one, not even going there anymore. Second one I had a few months, like 4 appts, was nice enough, but a little odd in her own way and yes, somewhat condescending. I also noted that in some psych nurses and therapists.

My personal opinion is that they, those who behave this way, view their patients as flawed, and therefore somehow less intelligent, or less capable, and in need of being told what to do - not being told the options and allowed to decide, just being told how it will be.

It's important to find a good one. The current one, if trends hold, is a keeper - she acts towards me in the same way I act towards my clients, with professionalism, courtesy, and personality. I feel like she is any other doctor, discussing things very matter of fact without drama, in a pretty low-key manner.

How you present yourself makes a difference, too. I was still pretty shaken when #2. So, when I had the 1st appt with #3, I made sure I went in there showing my best self, from wearing my absolutely best Joseph Abboud suit, best silk tie, best shoes, the really good Calvin Klein cologne, to how I acted - confident, witty, relaxed. And, I plead my case without drama, was explicit about what I was after, and it went really well. If you present as unsure and unable to make informed decisions about your healthcare, they will treat you that way.

[Locut0s]

4. I agree about making a good impression...

I'm much more calm and collected this time than with the last psychiatrist I meet when I was a real mess. I don't find this DR talks down to me so much as at me in a bit of stricter fashion. So far I don't mind it but I'll have to see over time how it goes. It's so difficult finding good DRs that I'll probably stick with this guy for a while unless things really go south.

The way the discussion in my OP went was basically that there is a 10 year old me (he didn't put an age on it but he did say kid/child) and a very advanced adult me. When it comes to performing at work /school, hobbies, my interests, writing etc it's the adult me making the decisions and talking; but when it comes to important life decisions and facing emotional turmoil it's the 10 year old that takes over. At those points I avoid, I panic, and I run. It's a habit that I've never learned to properly control because up till reverently I've lived in an environment that allowed me to avoid and hide. The phrasing of the problem as adult / child that part of me is emotionally underdeveloped is the part that seems a bit condescending. However I think this may be my own vies as much as anything, not wanting to accept this very valid interpretation. And like I said I myself have thought along these very lines so it's probably not far off the mark.

[olddots]

5. It's hard getting around being antiauthoritarian around phychiatrists

our media image of them is hard to forget =them thinking they are god like creatures ,fucked up Freud wanna be note takers where we become a case not a human .As they say ( who said this ? ) the truth hurts and Phychiatrists can be brutally honest and or frank .

The balance of emotional and intellectual maturity is a tough thing to judge if you read any 80's pop self help woo-cology about the inner child and then did Estian experiential stuff where you're not allowed to be un serious . A shrink like a hypnotist can get you to a place of vulnerability that if isn't used correctly can have really bad results .Sounds like you may have found a good one but if you feel
like your head is getting played with those bad reviews might be true but you know the net is all about people beings critics .

I have no idea what I'm talking about but feel that you are on the right trail . and now the trying to sleep ritual begins .dots out .

[get the red out]

6. I didn't go to one for many years

My issue with them being condescending was that they wouldn't actually talk to me even though I was technically an adult, they would talk to my parents. And they over-medicated me in the extreme. They treated me like a very bad Veterinarian would treat a dog, as if I weren't a person who could be conversed with.

The psychiatrist I have finally gone to see even acknowledged that my experience happens too often. It was a huge relief to make contact with her.

[ejpoeta]

8. when I first went to the doctor about my depression, many years ago

the doctor sent me to what i call a psychoshrink. he was a psychologist. Now mind you, I had been dealing with this for some time already and my older sister who has bipolar suggested I see a doctor about it. The guy told me if i act happy I'll BE happy. So there it was. I just wasn't trying hard enough. I only went to his twice. Once with my sisters present and once on my own. After that I stopped asking anyone for help. I blamed myself that I just wasn't trying hard enough. I ended up cutting myself off from everyone, giving away all my important things and doing self destructive things. I would write in my notebook I had, and still do though I refuse to look in it, how i wanted to die. I tried taking pills once but spit them out. Too chicken I guess. The last thing I did, because I always would hop on my bike or try to escape it somehow, was to hop on my bike and ride 5 hours to my brothers house. No one was home when I got there. I just sat on his porch in the rain. I figured no one would care if I was gone. No one would notice. I never told anyone where I was. When my brother got home, I stayed there for 2 days. My sister, the one who had convinced me to go to the doctor had asked where I was. she found my notebook I guess. She talked me into going to the hospital. It took a lot of convincing. I was pretty far gone. But I went. And I told them the truth too. And I went into extended observation. That was voluntary, but a couple days later I was sent upstairs. I sat on one side of the table and my family on the other. I thought they were conspiring against me. But I was kept there.

Now of course I know they were just trying to help me.And the doctors take me seriously too. I think if they would have just taken me seriously in the first place I would have never ended up in the hospital. But the most important thing is that I KNOW... what to look for.

Currently I see a therapist. Have been for years now. I still struggle and I guess I always will. And I don't really ever trust completely anyone. Because of that experience with the psychoshrink.