At what point do I stop self-identifying as the mentally ill guy?

[Denninmi]

Because this 24/7 elephant in the room is getting old. Every waking minute, it's always there, never far in the background even at the best moments, the reminder that I have some form of mental illness, and the thought the I am somehow never going to be free of it, never free to just feel at ease about myself and my life.

Is it just a matter of time, or is there some more active way to come to terms with this knowledge?

[Festivito]

1. Well, that would at least have to wait until your next post.

Yeah, that's glib, but I don't mean it to be. You don't have to be that self-identity to us.

Now, to yourself? I don't know how that works or what that specific malady entails in ones mind - being that it is of the mind.

I would hope there would be medication that helps. Then, you can become the person responsible for taking certain medicines and noting your feelings so you and a doctor can adjust dosages and change tacks. I'd think that a positive approach. First and foremost, you're a responsible person.

A responsible person with a difficult challenge. Not a bad identity.

There are many things that can be wrong with people. A livable challenge, and I will add here that you are indeed living, sure beats identities that have so little future hope such as: untreatable cancer, being on death row, having a passion for torturing people, being a Republican. (Certainly not to lump you in with these terrible situations, in fact to say that these are not you, not your identity.)

So, how do these people self-identify. I think they look at your situation as minor.

I just hope you can get past your concern and help our country out with the rest of us flawed souls.

Just wishing you health and happiness from another Detroiter.

[Denninmi]

6. Well, as long as I haven't sunk so low as to be a Republican, I can live with it.

That would be intolerable.

Hey, what part of "The D" are you in? I'm up in central Oakland.

[Festivito]

9. Be thankful for that.

2x4x1 mile. That would be about 15-16 miles due south.

Gotta go eat a friend's birthday cake.

Later.

[libodem]

2. It comes from inside you

You have to be your own internal parent and be kind to yourself. Don't should on your self.

I like transactional analysis for thinking about the different aspects of our egos. The parent part is the internal dialog that runs your old parent tapes about all your supposed shortcomings. It takes over for the abusive parent and you continue to beat yourself up, for every little thing. The nurturing parent is soothing and gentle. We have him or her inside our head, too. We need to listen to our nurturing higherself and get the feedback that we are okay.

We have to do it for ourselves. We need to.like ourselves, and talk nicely to our inner child. The hurt little kid, who never got the recognition that he was lovable and capable. You need to love him now. You were emotionally let down. That is the Child part of the personality. It is still our personality part with the feelings. Mostly love and fear or anger. A lot of emotional stuff can be internally driven by a mean 'Parent'.

Lucky for you, you are not at the mercy of a critical Parent and a victim child internal circle of Hell on earth because you also have an 'Adult'. It is your internal wittness state, which monitors your thoughts (Parent) and your feelings (Child). You become aware of how you talk to yourself, and you like yourself.
Start telling.yourself you are okay. Admit and accept the emotional imbalances, they are part or you but they are not you. You are the internal wittness.

[Denninmi]

5. Don't should on yourself - that's pretty good.

My inner parent can still be a real sob at times, while the inner child tends to run a bit hyper in an attempt to overcompensate. The inner adult hides in the shadows too much instead of stepping up and running the show like he should, the damned slacker.

I really do have this internal dialogue running 24/7, the problem is I can't get everyone on the same page most of the time.

[libodem]

11. I find having a name

For the business going on up there helpful. Our inner parent can be harsh. That should on yourself comes from AA. My patents were in the program 30 years, each.

My family was intelligent but very dysfunctional.

Meditation practice might help you stay in the watchful adult place. It is your center.

[Denninmi]

8. Yes, more job security for her.

I'm a gold mine for the mental health industry in SE Michigan.

[libodem]

4. The past is dead

The future is imaginary. Stay in the here and now as much as possible. You seem vulernable. I would be careful about putting myself out there to be abused further by knotheads who blame people and not guns for gun violence. Protect your self.

[Denninmi]

7. Ah, I'm ok about those idiots.

I can handle them. It's my own mind that is the issue, I just can't quit thinking about it. This is kinda my MO anyway, I had an unpleasant job transition in 2007, and was depressed about it and relived it all of the time for about 2 years.

[libodem]

12. I'm just sayin'

Because you have seen me race in here like a scalded cat, crying my eyes out, because I put myself out there and got my feelings hurt.

I had to take full responsibility for it, eventuality. Most of our troubles are of our own making.(more AA)

Love ya, brother.

[Denninmi]

13. Thank you.

And right back atcha!

[easttexaslefty]

10. If I may be so bold,

Until you no longer wish too. It's a personal choice and one's own journey.
Because of my personality and situational particulars, I feel the need to speak out. To give my perspective. It's gives my loss and my struggle, meaning I suppose.
You have to do, what's best for you.

[fizzgig]

14. i think part of it is reframing the issue internally

Last edited Mon Dec 31, 2012, 02:49 PM - Edit history (1)

instead of letting the illness define you, you define what the illness means in your life.

mental illness is no different than other chronic conditions that are managed by medications, we are no different than someone who uses medications to manage a chronic illness. our illnesses just happen to be chemical imbalances and nothing that 'physically' manifests for others to see. let me talk to you about my experience with stigma a bit. i am pretty sure i lost my old job as a reporter due to, at least to some small degree, my stay in the psych hospital. i called my boss and told him straight up where i was and why i was there. i can't prove it, but i know internally that was a contributing factor. and you know what? losing that job was the best thing that could have happened for me because it was just contributing to my symptoms and further degrading my quality of life. i may be a lot broker now, i do not work the most glamorous job, but i am happier than i ever was in my old life. since i went back on my medication early this year, even my boss has noticed my attitude and performance at work has increased and i unabashedly tell him it's my meds. i am lucky to now live in a (personal) world where no one i interact with gives a tin shit that i am a bit 'crazy.' i don't pull my illness into the conversation out of context, but i am not shy about identifying who i am.

i am not bipolar, i am a person with bipolar disorder. i am not mentally ill, but a person with a mental illness. we are people, not illnesses.

and so you have some form of mental illness? never forget or be ashamed of that, but don't let it define who you are. my diagnosis has allowed me to become more comfortable with myself because it helped me understood why i felt the way i did. i felt for a long time like the real me was bound and gagged in a closet, held hostage by the yammering bullshit committee in the back of my brain. the medication has all but vanquished the committee and the real me was able to stumble back out in the light and grow and be nurtured in a way that she was not afforded before.

but i have many more identities than simply being a mentally ill person. i'm a friend, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a boss, an employee, a damn good cook, a supportive ear and sympathetic shoulder, a person. my illness may affect some of my relationships, but it does not define how i interact with anyone. i can't change my diagnosis, no more than i could if i were diabetic or asthmatic, but i don't have to let it define my life.