Mind racing thoughts on mortality

[XanaDUer2]

Thanks for bearing with me. I'm googling calcifications again, and all sorts of cancer stuff is coming up from reputable sources. My ultrasound is Thursday. I'm terrified. Awaiting to see if lease is renewed.

So much I want to do. Another part of me is like, if its serious, just let Nature take its course. I hate being in this position. I know Life doesn't work this way. I've always tried to be a good person and do whats right. I think I'm putting off the TMJ treatment now. No point if I'm dying. I'm cleaning to keep busy.

I'm sorry for constantly posting. Just feel so alone

[multigraincracker]

1. I'm feeling anxious too.

Had my annual chest CS over 2 weeks ago. The results are usually posted on my portal in a day or two. Nothing yet.
Doing a lot of breathing exercises to combat it. Kind of working.
In the mean time I’m thrilled that I just got the news that my new wife has been put on my health insurance. She was paying $200/week for a crap insurance. Now she is covered for life. She is a RN that does home care for babies hooked up to machines to stay alive. She is a Saint.

Best of luck and hang in there.

[XanaDUer2]

3. Wonderful news

I'm so glad for that. I'm on Medicare now.

I know its hard. Scary. I don't even want to look at my portal. This is irrational. I should take control. My mom died at 60. I'm 58.

[3catwoman3]

2. I would give you a physical hug if I could.

A virtual one will have to do -

[XanaDUer2]

5. Hug back

Thank you. I need a hug.

[CountAllVotes]

4. Understand

I'm right there with you my friend.

We go on anyway and too often we haven't a clue as to why.

[XanaDUer2]

6. I have such bad GAD

Thanks for understanding

[pandr32]

7. Don't apologize for posting.

DU is a community and we are here for you.
Sending a virtual hug.

[XanaDUer2]

10. Thanks

I really feel guilty for constantly posting. Like I'm a hog. My fears build up to a point I just. Feel like I'm going to lose it

[pandr32]

12. Here's the thing.

Guilt just makes you feel worse so you should remind yourself that all of us have the option to stop or not stop by your posts as we scroll. There is no way anyone finds you a bother.
You have a need right now and sounding out to us is perfectly welcome.
I can only imagine I would be going through a lot of fear and anxiety if I were in your position.
More hugs for you.

[XanaDUer2]

13. You all mean so much

Truly

[pandr32]

16. It is an awesome community.

[Polly Hennessey]

8. With DU you are not alone. If I could sit with you and

hold your hand, I would 🫶🏼🤗

[XanaDUer2]

9. Thanks

That means a lot. My sister who sprouts RW talking points, is constantly sick, in pain, etc but doesn't like to hear me talk about my health. I'll read "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE TAKE CARE OF MY NIECE"

She's a disaster

[irisblue]

11. Sending you cyber hugs.

The waiting for the exam, then the results is 2000 kinds of a bitch.
And post as much as you like, that is why the forum exists

[MLAA]

14. Sending you hugs and gentle thoughts and soothing energy.

[XanaDUer2]

17. Maybe I'll be okay

Just have a bad feeling for some reason

[XanaDUer2]

15. I want to be cremated and interred with my mother's

Ashes in a S FL cemetery. My beloved grandfather is buried there all alone, and I dont want him to be down there alone