My grandson is going back into the sober living house this morning

[Rorey]

He was in detox for the last few days. The person who updated my son (his dad) said that he was already through most of withdrawal by the time he got to detox, so he wouldn't be there long. He said he was motivated to get better, and he made the arrangements to get back into the sober living house on his own.

I want to help him, but then I think that maybe "help" isn't really helping. He has to pay to stay in the house, and of course he most likely lost his job when he slipped up. He also has to pay for his own food, and my son said that his only pair of shoes (a lot of his stuff "disappeared&quot were messed up. I asked my son if I should buy him shoes, and he said I should hold off for a bit. I think the thinking on that is that he should do as much as possible on his own.

It's tough, because I'm Grandma. It kills me thinking that he might not have enough to eat. I know that I need to stay out of going into rescue mode, so I just made the offer known to my son, and he can let me know if I should help. My son has the means to provide help, so my help really isn't even needed. My grandson's mom's side of the family can be counted on to be their usual cold selves because he didn't live up to their expectations. Needless to say, they're repukes. I imagine they have an abundance of MAGAt hats.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

1. Addiction is hard on everybody involved

You sound like you are carefully thinking things through. I hope for the best for your grandson, and for you.

[Rorey]

2. Thank you

I love that guy so much.

Over the last six days I have been reminiscing about all of the shenanigans we got into when he was younger and spent a lot of time with me. His dad scolded me more than once, but we had a great time. He has such a great personality and was always up for an adventure.

[Nittersing]

7. This is what I would share with him.

Get the address and send him a snail mail and tell him what you're telling us here. That you love him, but know that he has to work this out for himself... but here are some of the memories that you have been recalling and you think he will enjoy recalling them as well.

And maybe some cards... those "thinking of you" kind of cards... It might be nice for him to look forward to the mail.

That's just what I would do.

[Rorey]

8. That's the best idea

I'll see if I can get the name of the place from my son today.

It's in Denver, a hundred miles away, so I imagine there are a ton of sober living houses there.

[Rhiannon12866]

15. I did that same thing for a good friend who went into rehab a few months ago

She gave me the address, this place was in Florida and we're in New York, so I sent her cards regularly hoping to encourage her and to keep her spirits up. She said that she looked forward to them and those she met there wished that they were getting cards from home, too.

[magicarpet]

3. A red MAGA hat,... a stiff backbone,... and a surly mouth habitually,...

.... spitting out snide remarks is all one needs to survive and thrive in trDump Cult AmeriKKKa.



Hope your grandson wins the battle of chemical addiction and finds long-term recovery.

[Rorey]

5. Thank you

That he wants to get better is, to me, the most important thing

[vlyons]

4. Encouraging him will mean a lot to him

Some kind words here and there can make a big difference.

[Rorey]

6. I probably overthink what to do

But I can at least send him some "I love you" texts.

[vlyons]

11. I used to drink too much. Had about a dozen grand mal seizures

When I stopped drinking, I stopped having seizures. It all starts with a little voice in your head that says, "I need a drink." That little voice arises in response to something unpleasant physical or mental, sometimes bordom. And an inability or unwillingness to stay present while whatever is unpleasant sticks around.

I stopped drinking about 10 years ago. Getting drunk doesn't interest me at all now, and neither do drugs. I practice Buddhist meditation now, and have read quite a bit about Buddhist psychology and how the mind works. Keep reminding your loved one that everything starts with mind. When that little voice starts droning on about how he needs a drink, he needs to tell himself, "No I don't. Don't go there." Feelings and thoughts are impermanent, like clouds in the clear blue sky. Tell him that he can choose to resist that little voice.

[Rorey]

13. That's great! Good for you!

My grandson OD'd on Fentanyl, apparently three times from when he got kicked out of the sober living house for being high.

My daughter hasn't had a drink in over 3 years. I don't think she'll ever recover from some of the things it did to her body. She's still afraid of getting triggered and won't be around anyone who's drinking.

[babylonsister]

9. My bf spent time in a

group home/halfway house, eventually managed it. There, there were places near by to work, like car washes or fast food places, put $ in their pockets for day-to-day expenses. Also, the food bank was nearby and provided all kinds of food and meat at very low prices for these residents. Might be something to look into so you don't worry so much, but I understand. I hope he continues to go to meetings; they put things in perspective.
Addiction sucks, but on an upbeat note, my bf has been sober for 5+ years. Thank gawd, and positive thoughts going out to your grandson.

[Rorey]

10. That's wonderful about your bf's sobriety

I'm a worrier by nature. I know that my son will never turn his back on his son, so I'm just the "extra" worrier.

My grandson definitely wanted to go back to the same place that he was. He was clean for 102 days when he slipped. It was a setback, but sometimes setbacks are part of the path forward.

[BoomaofBandM]

12. So glad for you and your family. Hope is a great thing.

[Rorey]

14. Thank you for your kind words

I feel the same about hope.