Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumSurvived a two-week vacation in the UK.
The first week was easy. It was just my wife and me. We visited Edinburgh, York, and Lincoln. But the second week we rented a house in London and our kids and my daughter's FIL all stayed with us. They're all drinkers and every night ended with them pounding the wine. That was a bit harder to deal with but I excused myself and went to my room and watched movies. The real hard part was going out to two dinners.
It was a retirement party for my wife. One night we went to an Italian restaurant and I was the only one not drinking. Then the next night was the retirement dinner. It was an Argentinian steak house and they kept bringing out various wines and describing them to the whole table. The waitresses asked me several times if I was sure I didn't want to have some wine. By the end of the night, everyone was blasted. It was an excruciating 5 1/2 hours. And I couldn't cut out early, because they were honoring my wife.
But in the end, I prevailed! The thing that kinda bugs me is that no one else really understands what we go through.
Walleye
(35,147 posts)Hope22
(2,633 posts)That must have been extremely difficult on so many levels. People can be so clueless! My hat is off to you. You are are doing amazing work.
Joinfortmill
(16,353 posts)Tetrachloride
(8,443 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,540 posts)👊
3Hotdogs
(13,345 posts)Didn't tell the waitress to fuck off?
My friends go on motorcycle trips every year. Been doing that for 30 years. Evening drinks by the fire pit or wherever was part of the fun. Tony would go through a bottle of chianti eery evening.
Then, his liver got shot. He quit drinking. WE stopped buying alcohol on the trips and don't order alcohol at supper.
bif
(23,889 posts)But at this dinner, it wasn't about me. My wife was the focus. I was tempted to tell the waitress to sod off, but the gentleman in me prevailed. It's not her fault she had a duty to push the wine drinking.
marble falls
(61,996 posts)Applan
(693 posts)I grew up in Leeds bit we would visit family in York almost weekly
bif
(23,889 posts)We actually toyed with giving our younger daughter the middle name York. But alas, we chickened out
h2ebits
(762 posts)What you are doing is difficult. Cripes! You have survived quite the ordeal sitting with all of those people so many times.
You have my complete support. Keep on; keeping on!!
LatteLady
(29 posts)My mom lived thanks to AA. Your perseverance in the face of great temptation is amazing! Hope you are super proud of yourself cause you should be!
halfulglas
(1,654 posts)At my age I rarely drink because even a small amount can affect my reflexes now. But the pressure to drink isn't mean, just people seem to think there's something wrong with you if you don't drink. My good friend when she was with her ex had to attend a lot of parties and get-togethers with him for his job and would nurse a ginger ale or water. One night when guys would come up to her and pressure her and say come on, have a drink, she decided to just tell them she was an alcoholic (she wasn't really, she just thought this would stop the pressure to drink). She was shocked when these people would say, well, one drink won't hurt you.
It can be really annoying watching people who feel they have to have a drink with their meals, and then another and they get louder and the more they drink the louder they get.
I like the way you described it as "survived" the vacation.
spooky3
(36,039 posts)Like this back off if I tell them this. I never reveal the meds name.
Alexander Of Assyria
(7,839 posts)Recent studies have shown that people are using marijuana more, and drinking less, in states that have passed recreational marijuana laws. Although marijuana is not a treatment for alcohol addiction, this finding could be important for future policy decisions.
stopdiggin
(12,699 posts)( nope. sorry. anybody that has more than just the mildest of buzzes - is a really terrible definition of fun. tedious. embarrassing. occasionally offensive, indiscreet and destructive .. but 9 times out of 10 - neither a 'fun' time, or companion. )
BradBo
(634 posts)Non drinkers do suffer in silence when they cannot leave an event like that. I rarely drink at social occasions. It always seems to be about having to drive since my wife always wants me to drive home. Makes it easy but it is annoying sometimes and highly boring after a few hours.
ChazInAz
(2,771 posts)Forty-one years sober, here.
One my most difficult experiences was a wedding in San Carlos, Mexico. I was the abiding Dudist minister, there was the best man, bride and groom and the photographer. Lady photographer and I were the only sober ones in the group. Bride and groom were mean drunks who fought constantly. Photographer and I wound up staying in my room and ignoring the brawls as best we could, and we bonded over the trauma. We're still friends.
The marriage lasted four months.
Bernardo de La Paz
(50,833 posts)Marthe48
(18,870 posts)On top of that, you are giving yourself health and well-being.
IronLionZion
(46,904 posts)it can be challenging but doable.
Nondrinking friends will sometimes tell the server to bring them soft drinks in a cocktail glass or something so they can still cheers.
wendyb-NC
(3,762 posts)That's true no one understands what it's like to be in our shoes. It's insane at times. I come from a family of drinkers. I don't preach to them, I just hang back and try to focus on the occasion, or anything but the drinks.
You are stalwart in the face of drinking mayhem. Excellent work.
Skittles
(158,503 posts)you should feel very proud indeed
remember that someone is always here on DU, we are here for you!
Stuart G
(38,726 posts)Stuart G
(38,726 posts)NO TRUER WORDS WERE EVER SPOKEN!!!