Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

obamanut2012

(27,749 posts)
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 07:34 AM Jun 2012

I'm a lesbian and I like breasts

I freely admit that, and have no shame in admitting that.

Having said that: when I see a woman breastfeeding, my first thought isn't OOOOOOOO BREASTS!!!!! YAY!!!! (no matter how attractive the woman is) or even OOOOOOO BREASTS!!! THIS MAKES ME FEEL ALL WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!! My thought is usually nothing, because big deal, or maybe a Thank God I never had kids.

So, why do so many people get so bent out of shape about breastfeeding, including women? Is it prudery and perversion, to be all cutesy and alliterative? As a few people said in the military women breastfeeding thread in GD: how is it any different than giving a baby a bottle? To me, it isn't.

Have any of you ever been approached by someone when you were breastfeeding in public and been snarked at? Told to smother your baby in a blanket so someone doesn't freak out? Or take your baby to a bathroom to suckle?

Excuse the provocative header of the OP, but I was thinking this as I read that GD thread yesterday. I know first-hand breasts aren't JUST for feeding babies, but when they are feeding babies, breasts certainly aren't being sexy or provocative. I don't get it.


31 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I'm a lesbian and I like breasts (Original Post) obamanut2012 Jun 2012 OP
Working in third world settings a fair part of my life, this was not an issue... hlthe2b Jun 2012 #1
I think that's definitely part of it obamanut2012 Jun 2012 #6
Quit injecting all that sanity into this debate! Scuba Jun 2012 #2
Sex is a really weird thing in this country obamanut2012 Jun 2012 #7
But it's okay to show people getting their brains blown out on TV, Dash87 Jun 2012 #24
sex is a primal thing qazplm Jun 2012 #3
I read somewhere... Whisp Jun 2012 #22
Generally, I like them too ... but I have to see them to be sure ... zbdent Jun 2012 #4
Funny you should mention it. Watch GMA they are discussing breastfeeding in uniform. southernyankeebelle Jun 2012 #5
Remember when Salma Hayek breastfeed a baby in Sierrea Leone? obamanut2012 Jun 2012 #8
I think breastfeeding = not buying formula. Whisp Jun 2012 #16
Disappointed TlalocW Jun 2012 #9
I can't stop reading the subject to the tune of "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay" petronius Jun 2012 #21
It astounds me that nature gave us a means to feed our children Catherina Jun 2012 #10
I find this interesting re the Time cover LadyHawkAZ Jun 2012 #13
I thought the Time cover was a little staged too Catherina Jun 2012 #15
I have often watched women struggle with a baby while doing everyday things in public, Jamastiene Jun 2012 #20
That really struck me here Catherina Jun 2012 #23
Sometimes I think it's not really about breasts (and I'm a lesbian and I like breasts too) justiceischeap Jun 2012 #11
I think the concept of unwanted hair is pretty stupid. Neoma Jun 2012 #14
I agree. Starry Messenger Jun 2012 #17
The result of a sexually repressed society LadyHawkAZ Jun 2012 #12
I think people are, fortunately, way less uptight about it than they used to be. Warren DeMontague Jun 2012 #18
Breast feeding is perfectly natural. Jamastiene Jun 2012 #19
I am also a lesbian Aerows Jun 2012 #25
I will try to excuse the headline... happy juneteenth Jun 2012 #26
What's that supposed to mean? nt Zorra Jun 2012 #27
I know obamanut2012 Jun 2012 #28
Is it because you used the highly provocative word breasts? LeftyMom Jun 2012 #30
When I was 7... Neoma Jun 2012 #31
That poster is no longer with DU. yardwork Jun 2012 #29

hlthe2b

(106,061 posts)
1. Working in third world settings a fair part of my life, this was not an issue...
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 07:44 AM
Jun 2012

No one thought anything about it, even where women were very open about it, unlike most American women's tendency towards a covered and more modest approach.

But, those countries weren't bombarded with the same level of sexualization and objectification in constant marketing campaigns, movies, tv, and other media. Perhaps that is a large part of the difference.... In those countries, it seems the "natural" aspect of breast feeding is not countered by a preponderence of sexualizing emphasis.

I'm sure some would counter with the far more open atmosphere of many European countries toward both sex in general, nudity, but also openness and encouragement of breast feeding. To which, I might argue that there is still more "balance" than is the case in the US.

obamanut2012

(27,749 posts)
6. I think that's definitely part of it
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 08:17 AM
Jun 2012

I am curious to know how public reactions are in different European countries. Say, Ireland and England versus Greece and Italy? I may have to Google this some, because I'm curious if Europeans and, say, Canadians are "hung up" on this, too?

 

Scuba

(53,475 posts)
2. Quit injecting all that sanity into this debate!
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 07:51 AM
Jun 2012

Great post, thanks. As a straight male, I find breasts sexy. But when I see a mother breastfeeding her baby my thoughts run to the nurturing and caring that is occurring, not "oooh a breast".

Americans are so hung up about sex it's amazing we're able to repopulate.

obamanut2012

(27,749 posts)
7. Sex is a really weird thing in this country
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 08:20 AM
Jun 2012

We, as a country, are oddly and weirdly prudish (breastfeeding, topless beaches, etc.), yet interject sexuality into every damned thing, including advertising and all other media, sexualized clothing for little girls, etc. And then go bonkers about a suckling child, which is a natural and very basic thing.


Dash87

(3,220 posts)
24. But it's okay to show people getting their brains blown out on TV,
Thu Jun 14, 2012, 10:15 PM
Jun 2012

or killed in a variety of any way possible, really. Also, like you said, we make everything about sex, but any woman that expresses her sexuality is called a 'whore.' We also make things that shouldn't be sexual oddly sexual. I don't get it.

qazplm

(3,626 posts)
3. sex is a primal thing
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 07:52 AM
Jun 2012

I'm a hetero man, so of course, I love breasts too. I think in hetero men there is something about breasts more than any other thing/body part that just stoke the fire so to speak, or at least this hetero man.

So even if intellectually I know breastfeeding is not a "sexy thing" it is difficult to not have thoughts of a sexual nature, because, well, breasts!

But I don't think that's the problem. The problem is the prude who thinks sex is bad, evil, something to be done with the lights off, never on, and thus doesn't want anyone else thinking about sex except for procreation or anniversaries.

Thus, those folks get all bent out of shape. Others like you and I while being big fans of the breasts, and if I perhaps have to suppress a teenage-ish internal giggle (breasts!), recognize that breastfeeding is a special, necessary, and wonderful thing between a mother and child, and not something dirty or that needs to be hidden or freak out about.

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
22. I read somewhere...
Wed Jun 6, 2012, 10:52 AM
Jun 2012

and have no idea where or even when so forgive me for that!

but about breasts and the sexual attractiveness to them, by men in this case. It's related to how buttocks look cleavage-wise when you do the doggie (from a man's perspective).

is that too naughty for here? hope not.

obamanut2012

(27,749 posts)
8. Remember when Salma Hayek breastfeed a baby in Sierrea Leone?
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 08:26 AM
Jun 2012

My God, the way some reacted, you would think she had stripped naked and danced across the floor of Congress which killing a kitten and drinking its blood.

I think this was partly an ewwwww reaction by idiots who would never suckle a baby of color because they are racists, and partly because Hayek is seen as a sex symbol.

"The actress and producer was told by doctors in Sierra Leone that many mothers stop breastfeeding their infants within the first few months after birth because of pressure from their husbands. Tradition has it, in some areas, that it is not acceptable to have sexual relations with breast feeding women.

Sierra Leone has the highest infant mortality rate in the world, in part fueled by malnutrition. Physicians there told Hayek they would like to see mothers breastfeed for a full two years but that stigma too often gets in the way.

Hayek said her decision to breastfeed another woman's child was an attempt to diminish the stigma placed on women for breast feeding. At the time she was still breastfeeding her 1-year-old daughter."


http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=6854285&page=1#.T8jCAtSrJ-E

 

Whisp

(24,096 posts)
16. I think breastfeeding = not buying formula.
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 04:35 PM
Jun 2012

and the corp sellers are really somewhat behind this silliness of breastfeeding is bad.

Catherina

(35,568 posts)
10. It astounds me that nature gave us a means to feed our children
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 10:15 AM
Jun 2012

Last edited Fri Jun 1, 2012, 11:08 AM - Edit history (1)

free of charge, in an intimate nurturing way yet we're told to either not do it or do it in private because it makes people uncomfortable. Is that because we allowed our consumer culture to convince us that breastfeeding is for savages or poor Third World women who can't afford the *better* stuff that's full of bovine growth hormone and pesticides? This would be the same culture that barely gives women any maternity leave to take care of her child and pushes the sale of formula and now breast pumps to get those women back to work.

One other thing that shocks me is the reaction to women who breastfeed their children until they're 5 or so. What's wrong with that?

I love seeing toddlers, of all ages, run up to their moms, lift up her top and have a quick drink before running off. It's a lot healthier than grabbing something full of sugar and chemicals that keeps the corporate machine going.

I think it's prudery and perversion that explains some of the reactions and that those reactions are deliberately encouraged. Take for example how a few weeks ago, people were outraged that Times had a magazine cover of a woman standing up to feed her toddler because it wasn't natural to suckle a boy toddler that long and it wasn't natural to do it standing up. A few are openly disapproving that it's not happening in dark rooms where their filthy minds won't have something to cluck over.

Excuse me? What's this Victorian attitude?

Beautiful Mayan women in my neck of the woods, openly breastfeed their toddlers all day, standing up even! The amazing thing is that these children don't cry. I've never heard a baby crying down here and they go with their mothers everywhere. All day long, they're strapped to their mother's back and they're the happiest, best adjusted children I've ever seen.

Nobody even bats an eye over it.

In order not to make your thread too picture-heavy for people with slower connections, I'll start a different thread of just pictures of beautiful Mayan women feeding and being with their toddlers. This is just the first one.



The rest are here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/11396452

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
13. I find this interesting re the Time cover
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 02:13 PM
Jun 2012

I had no problem with the breastfeeding but the pose did seem unnatural to me too- they had an alternative shot of her with the baby in her lap that I thought was much more natural and realistic than the standing pose. So the comment about the Guatemalan women nursing standing up interests me.

This is why I love your cross-cultural posts. I always learn something new.

Catherina

(35,568 posts)
15. I thought the Time cover was a little staged too
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 02:44 PM
Jun 2012

but what magazine cover isn't?

The women here breastfeed as they're walking even.

Before my mom came to visit a few months ago, I hired a woman to help me do some detailed house-cleaning.

She had her baby strapped to her back the entire time, unless she was feeding him. She worked really fast too. It was amazing and beautiful to watch.

Thanks for liking my cross-cultural posts

Jamastiene

(38,197 posts)
20. I have often watched women struggle with a baby while doing everyday things in public,
Sun Jun 3, 2012, 12:01 AM
Jun 2012

and wondered why papooses and other things that make carrying a baby around easier are not used more often. They look really comfortable for baby and mother and make doing everyday chores easier. It is a hands free way to make sure the baby is safe and secure. Here, in America, though, for some odd reason, strollers are the most common devices to carry babies that I have seen and those appear cumbersome and are still not hands free.

I love the picture you posted above. It looks really comfortable to both the baby and the mother.

Catherina

(35,568 posts)
23. That really struck me here
Wed Jun 6, 2012, 11:53 AM
Jun 2012

I love how they just rotate their large shawls, hand woven not store-bought, start feeding and go on with whatever they were doing.



It caught on with Western women who lived down here. I hope they'll keep spreading the word




Finding a sling for Roscoe was actually a happy accident. My husband and I had resigned ourselves to the side effects of Roscoe’s colic––a constant ringing in our ears and the tendency to bounce up and down automatically at the sound of a squeal, even if it came from a fire truck. Then we visited a friend who convinced me to try her ring sling, a Maya Wrap. She whipped it over my head, tucked Roscoe inside, and had him sleeping in a matter of seconds.

Maya Wraps consist of a long strip of hand woven cloth made by a cooperative of Guatemalan women and looped through two large rings that cinch the baby in place. You can buy the fabric in colorful striped patterns but we were happy to be borrowing a solid cream-colored sling that blended with whatever we wore. The Maya Wrap also comes with an instructional video which greatly helps sleep deprived minds cope with the simple operating instructions.

After I started using the sling it occurred to me that during the nearly four months I spent living in Guatemala a decade ago, I saw countless babes tucked into slings on buses and soundly asleep while their parents bartered for mangos in the local street market. Its simple brilliance is now making it a hit with several American moms.

For Roscoe snoozing in the sling seemed to remind him of the womb. As a result, I could vacuum, write, shop, and even use the bathroom with him happily tucked against my chest. I brought him to work at just a few months old and was able to do most of my regular tasks with him snugly nestling. When my husband completed the Portland Marathon, Roscoe was nursing deep within the sling and I could take a finish line picture without worrying about flashing the unsuspecting spectators.

...

http://greenbabyguide.com/2009/07/12/baby-wearing-101/


$75 for sewing two rings on a piece of cloth? I guess that seems easier than tying it but the price astounds me when all you need to do is tie it securely.

justiceischeap

(14,040 posts)
11. Sometimes I think it's not really about breasts (and I'm a lesbian and I like breasts too)
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 02:04 PM
Jun 2012

it's about women doing something that isn't approved of by the majority--i.e., the majority haven't given women the permission that it's okay to breast feed in public if the breast is visible. It reminds me of how women are, according to religious rule, supposed to be hidden away when we're having our periods...

Anyway, it makes no sense that (some) women get bent out of shape about it, it doesn't make sense that (some) men get bent out of shape about it. People don't generally get bent out of shape when men walk around topless acting like they don't have nipples (some men even have moobs), or gross hairy backs (sorry hairy-backed guys, it just freaks me out).

It strikes me as a, "How dare she!" reaction.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
14. I think the concept of unwanted hair is pretty stupid.
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 02:44 PM
Jun 2012

Humans have as much if not more, hair follicles per square inch on our skin as chimps do.

Starry Messenger

(32,375 posts)
17. I agree.
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 04:53 PM
Jun 2012

It's a control issue in a patriarchal culture. Lots of things that don't make sense to control are under taboo and stricture, why? Simply to let us all know who is "boss". Like any penny-ante rules in an overly-controlling business, etc. We have our place in the hierarchy and are told when we step out of line.

LadyHawkAZ

(6,199 posts)
12. The result of a sexually repressed society
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 02:07 PM
Jun 2012

is that the repressed will see sex everywhere, even where it shouldn't be. Americans still haven't outgrown their Puritan stage, unfortunately. I'm pretty fond of breasts myself, but not when a baby is attached to it. That's just not a sexual situation.

I have yet to see someone who is as ease with their sexuality criticize public breastfeeding.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
18. I think people are, fortunately, way less uptight about it than they used to be.
Fri Jun 1, 2012, 06:25 PM
Jun 2012

We're on the West Coast, so that probably makes a difference, but when my wife was breastfeeding ours it was generally not a big deal at all. Only time I think we ever got any sort of weird vibes at all may have been on an airplane, so some of it -again- may be regional.

Babies need to eat; I like breasts, too, but I also recognize that they have an important function that has nothing to do with my aesthetic appreciation of them. If a woman is breastfeeding in public, best thing to do- really, the only thing to do- is to let her and her baby do their thing in peace.

It's also worth noting that breastfeeding in public is protected by law in many states; so if someone "tells her to cover up" or says "take it into the bathroom please", in addition to being an ass, they may be breaking the law.

Jamastiene

(38,197 posts)
19. Breast feeding is perfectly natural.
Sat Jun 2, 2012, 11:51 PM
Jun 2012

I don't know why some people have some kind of problem with it. I've never understood the big huge "to do" some people make out of it.

 

Aerows

(39,961 posts)
25. I am also a lesbian
Fri Jun 15, 2012, 09:48 AM
Jun 2012

That greatly enjoys breasts. Like you, however, I don't find anything provocative about a woman breast feeding her child. It seems kind of odd to me that people WOULD make something sexual about it.

And believe me, I WILL notice a woman with attractive breasts within a mile radius of me LOL.

LeftyMom

(49,212 posts)
30. Is it because you used the highly provocative word breasts?
Fri Jun 22, 2012, 04:32 PM
Jun 2012

"my stars" sounds so old fashioned I can't picture my late grandmother saying it, and she was a Southern Baptist over the age of 90 who thought "darn" was a full blown swear word.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
31. When I was 7...
Fri Jun 22, 2012, 04:45 PM
Jun 2012

I didn't know there were other words for them besides, "boobs."

Ahh, to be innocent...

Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»Feminists»I'm a lesbian and I like ...