Women's Rights & Issues
Related: About this forumRemembering Catherine Kassenoff and Continuing the Fight for Fair U.S. Child Custody Outcomes
(absolutely horrifying read. our "family court" system needs complete overhaul)
Remembering Catherine Kassenoff and Continuing the Fight for Fair U.S. Child Custody Outcomes
6/5/2023 by Amy Polacko
Why would a brilliant attorney and mother of three take her own life? Because the dysfunctional U.S. family court system took her kids and drove herlike so many othersover the edge.
This is a story that ends with my own assisted death in Switzerland. Its lead up has been published for years on Facebook, in Ms. magazine and in other media. The New York Court system is responsible for this outcome and should be held accountable for ruining the lives of my children, me, and so many other similarly-situated protective parents (mostly mothers) who have tried to stand up against abuse but were labeled liars, mentally ill and then treated like criminals.
Catherine Kassenoff, May 27, 2023
Catherine Kassenoff said she chose assisted suicide in Switzerland rather than living with the unbearable pain of being unable to see her children during her divorce while terminally ill. (Courtesy of Catherine Kassenoff)
This was the message a Westchester County, N.Y., woman sent on Memorial Day Weekend to those who knew about the epic war she was fightingto get her three daughters back in a years-long custody dispute with her husband. And, through the tears, most of us thought four things: I am devastated; sadly, I can understand how she reached this heartbreaking decision; our family court system did this; and we must fight for change before we lose more Catherines. Our courts repeatedly allow abusers to weaponize our legal system against womenmaking them the target of a war that can cost them, like Kassenoff, their health, jobs, money, homes, children and peace. No one should live this way in Americaor anywhere. Its an underworld only those who have been through family court, or know someone who has, can comprehend.
She wrote:
I cannot survive this torment and the grief that comes from such a prolonged separation from my children.
This court system did this to me, as it does to countless other protective mothers (and fathers). Professor Joan Meiers extensive research in this area confirms this is an epidemic. It is a predatory system that functions in darknessthrough gag orders like the one in my case, through a publicly-inaccessible docket, through a closed courtroom and through ex parte temporary orders that are in place for years. Money is the goal, not helping families get through traumatic divorces. It must be investigated at large by the FBI or another federal law enforcement agency or it will continue to devastate our families.
I first interviewed Catherine Kassenoff in December of 2021 for the groundbreaking Ms. article Empty Home for the Holidays, about how she and another protective mother, Cobie Jane, would spend the season without their children. Kassenoff was two and a half years into the battle with her husband, a litigator himself with Greenberg Traurig (now on a leave of absence*), who she said took advantage of a dysfunctional judicial system after two of their daughters reported their father for physical abuse of one of them.
As Kassenoff wrote in her goodbye letter:
Because the Courts of New York State are so invested in minimizing, suppressing and punishing valid claims of abuse, the Courts imposed supervision on me for saying that the girls were telling the truth about their fathers abuse. This supervision, which came at a cost to me of $2500/week at its height, was at the suggestion of a court-appointed forensic evaluator named Marc Abrams. Abrams was removed from the Panel of Forensic Custody Evaluators on August 24, 2021.
Kassenoff was far from aloneand had the guts to talk about it. When I first met this Dartmouth and NYU graduate, breast cancer survivor, and former assistant U.S. attorney, who was then-special counsel to New York Governor Kathy Hochul (D), it seemed that her bravery and brains would prevail. I do believe the only way out is to fight it, she told me.
. . . .
I cannot survive this torment and the grief that comes from such a prolonged separation from my children, wrote Kassenoff. (Courtesy of Catherine Kassenoff)
. . . . . . .
Rest in power, Catherine Kassenoff.
(update, he is no longer with the firm)
https://msmagazine.com/2023/06/05/catherine-kassenoff-death-child-custody-divorce-court/
Pachamama
(17,008 posts)The family court systems are sadly not oriented towards what is best and this story was a painful read.
Praying that the girls know how much their mother fought for them and loved them.