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Elessar Zappa

(16,228 posts)
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:04 PM Jan 6

Good vibes requested. My grandmother is dying. Update: She passed away :(

She’s 91 and is in a nursing home. No known cause of decline other than old age. She’s in a coma-like state and sleeping deeply. Her hands are still warm but she’s been without fluid for four days now. I imagine it’s not long before she passes.

She was a great grandmother. We had a tradition of playing the card game Uno since I was 5, up to a few years ago (I’m 41 now). She would read the Beverly Cleary books and Laura Ingalls Wilder books to me before I could read. When I visited she always had my favorite cereal Cocoa Pebbles and Juicy Juice fruit juice.

Update: As I’m writing this post, I received the call that she passed away. RIP Grandma, I love you.

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Good vibes requested. My grandmother is dying. Update: She passed away :( (Original Post) Elessar Zappa Jan 6 OP
Please accept my condolences. And God bless all people who read to children. Walleye Jan 6 #1
So sorry for her passing. a kennedy Jan 6 #2
She will live on with you by your acts of doing good deeds for your family, friends, co workers, and the planet Botany Jan 6 #3
My sympathy on the loss of your Grandma. May the livetohike Jan 6 #4
I'm very sorry for the loss of your dear Grandmother. LuckyCharms Jan 6 #5
So sorry Elessar Zappa. May her memories be a blessing to you. debm55 Jan 6 #6
My deepest sympathy. sinkingfeeling Jan 6 #7
Sending love to you and your Grandmother. Hope22 Jan 6 #8
So sorry to hear of your loss. Lonestarblue Jan 6 #9
What a wonderful person! yardwork Jan 6 #10
I'm so sorry. StarryNite Jan 6 #11
heartfelt condolences to you orleans Jan 6 #12
I'm sorry XanaDUer2 Jan 6 #13
So sorry! tavernier Jan 6 #14
I am sorry for the loss of your dear Grandma. pandr32 Jan 6 #15
Sorry for your loss KT2000 Jan 6 #16
I'm so sorry. onecaliberal Jan 6 #17
I'm so sorry. I hope thoughts of her bring you some comfort. chowder66 Jan 6 #18
I'm very sorry for your loss. Our Grands are very special brer cat Jan 6 #19
My Deepest Sympathy Rob_70 Jan 6 #20
Deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved grandmother. virgdem Jan 6 #21
I HOPE that you have THIS to look forward to. There rarely is a day that my maternal grandmother isn't here with me..... usaf-vet Jan 6 #22
A nice, nice memory!! SWBTATTReg Jan 6 #48
Your Grandma Clouds Passing Jan 6 #23
My sympathy and empathy to you, Elessar... slightlv Jan 6 #24
I am sorry for your loss JoseBalow Jan 6 #25
May she rest in peace. elleng Jan 6 #26
May your Grandma Rest in Peace and May her Memory be a Blessing. n/t. iluvtennis Jan 6 #27
Deepest condolences SheltieLover Jan 6 #28
aw hun, my deep condolences... FirstLight Jan 6 #29
My condolences LostOne4Ever Jan 6 #30
91 is a good long life TexasBushwhacker Jan 6 #31
I'm.... JoeOtterbein Jan 6 #32
I am so sorry for your loss. HeartsCanHope Jan 6 #33
I am so sorry... Trueblue Texan Jan 6 #34
Rest In Peace mokeyz Jan 6 #35
Condolences to you nt spooky3 Jan 6 #36
Peace to you and your family. Magoo48 Jan 6 #37
My (maternal) grandmother was my favorite relative. mahatmakanejeeves Jan 6 #38
Prayers to you and your family. Unladen Swallow Jan 6 #39
I'm so sorry for your loss Luciferous Jan 6 #40
Sounds like the Grandmother everyone would like to have.. Permanut Jan 6 #41
Sounds like she went peacefully. TNNurse Jan 6 #42
May Her Memory Be A Blessing Deep State Witch Jan 6 #43
Sending good vibes malaise Jan 6 #44
"" AllaN01Bear Jan 6 #45
Rest in Paradise, Elessar Zappa's Uno playing Grandmother Niagara Jan 6 #46
My sister was in hospice care when she passed away almost a year ago due to kidney failure. ShazzieB Jan 6 #47
I'm so sorry for you. Fla Dem Jan 6 #49
🌸 Donkees Jan 6 #50
I hope my grand kids remember me with such affection Marthe48 Jan 6 #51
Sending kind thoughts to you and all your Grandma's loved ones. MLAA Jan 6 #52
I'm so sorry Elessar choie Jan 6 #53
I'm so sorry, Elessar. skylucy Jan 6 #54
Condolences blueseas Jan 6 #55
She'd want you to take good care of yourself, especially now. calimary Jan 6 #56
So sorry for your loss LA Blue Bengal Jan 6 #57
Kick debm55 Jan 6 #58
I'm so sorry for your loss. area51 Jan 6 #59
Thank you all for your kind responses. Elessar Zappa Jan 6 #60
I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, Elessar. summer_in_TX Jan 6 #61
She has your love. SleeplessinSoCal Jan 7 #62
Condolences, Elessar gademocrat7 Jan 7 #63
So sorry... CaptainTruth Jan 7 #64

Botany

(72,819 posts)
3. She will live on with you by your acts of doing good deeds for your family, friends, co workers, and the planet
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:08 PM
Jan 6


livetohike

(23,115 posts)
4. My sympathy on the loss of your Grandma. May the
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:10 PM
Jan 6

love she gave you and every happy memory bring you comfort and always make you smile .

Hope22

(3,290 posts)
8. Sending love to you and your Grandmother.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:23 PM
Jan 6

My heart goes out to you. Grandmas are magic. She will always be with you. Peace and love to you. 💗🙏🏼

pandr32

(12,386 posts)
15. I am sorry for the loss of your dear Grandma.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:36 PM
Jan 6

It is never easy.
Keep her with you by going over the memories you shared often. Mine still warm me after many years.

brer cat

(26,649 posts)
19. I'm very sorry for your loss. Our Grands are very special
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:45 PM
Jan 6

and it hurts terribly when they are gone. I hope your memories will bring you comfort.

virgdem

(2,220 posts)
21. Deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved grandmother.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 12:56 PM
Jan 6

Cherish the memories of all the good times .

usaf-vet

(7,117 posts)
22. I HOPE that you have THIS to look forward to. There rarely is a day that my maternal grandmother isn't here with me.....
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:02 PM
Jan 6

Let me explain. As time passes, the pain and sadness of her loss will hopefully be replaced by one or two great moments you remember about her.

In my case, one or maybe both of my key moments were when I spent days with her while my parents worked.

Often, I was dropped off before I had breakfast. So, my key "spark of memory" was because of breakfast. She never had an electric or gas stove. She cooked on a wood-fired cast iron-top stove. So often, she would make toast for me as part of breakfast. Because she also didn't have an electric toaster, she made a toast on the stovetop. Without the benefit of a timer to stop the cooking, my toast, more often than not, was burned at least on one side. She would then butter it or scrape the burnt away into the sink. So either way, I had burnt toast. It became the everyday way of what toast was.

When I got married, and we had all the cooking advantages, my wife was cooking breakfast one day early in our marriage, and the toast burned. I do not know how, but when she brought it to the table, she said, "I'm sorry, but the toast is burnt. Should I make another piece?" Before I could answer the question, tears flowed from my eyes and ran down my cheeks......

She asked if I was alright. I smiled through the tears and said Gramma L. is cooking this morning! Now, 55, married years later, I still eat burnt toast or almost anything because my wife warns me Gramma L. is cooking. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

I love you, Gramma!

I HOPE you will find the one or two sparks of memory of your grandmother that remain with you each time "your burnt toast" appears.

I won't tell a long tale about two other "sparks," but they are smells. One is the smell is of a seasoning, and the other is the smell of 3 in 1 machine oil.

slightlv

(4,645 posts)
24. My sympathy and empathy to you, Elessar...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:16 PM
Jan 6

My Mom died on Friday. It is SO hard to handle the emotions and trying to figure out everything that has to be done. One of the greatest things said to me was to slow down and just let things be. Try to be gentle with yourself, and lose yourself in the good times you and your grandmother had. As I go through the arrangements and stuff here on my end, I'll be sending out warm, healing thoughts to you, as well.

FirstLight

(14,369 posts)
29. aw hun, my deep condolences...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:37 PM
Jan 6

I know my kids were profoundly affected by the passing of my Parents. They were like secondary parents as I was a single mom.

Blessed memories and let those tears flow. Glad she went gently and easily. I'm sure she's happily reuniting with others :hugs:

TexasBushwhacker

(20,787 posts)
31. 91 is a good long life
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:45 PM
Jan 6

I have an aunt who is 96 and has been in assisted living for over 20 years. She also has grandchildren and great grandchildren, but she's ready to call it a day. Her husband died 15 years ago and her younger sister, my mother, died 21 years ago. She is the last of her generation in our family. I will miss her.

HeartsCanHope

(768 posts)
33. I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:57 PM
Jan 6

Please accept my deepest condolences. I'll be thinking of you and your family. Take care.

Trueblue Texan

(3,096 posts)
34. I am so sorry...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:02 PM
Jan 6

Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of your grandma. I know your heart is aching. Peace and healing to you, Elessar.

mokeyz

(58 posts)
35. Rest In Peace
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:07 PM
Jan 6

to your sweet grandmother may her memory be a blessing. hugs to you and her loved ones.💙

mahatmakanejeeves

(62,102 posts)
38. My (maternal) grandmother was my favorite relative.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:36 PM
Jan 6

I got along with her better than any other relative.

It hurts.

Permanut

(6,749 posts)
41. Sounds like the Grandmother everyone would like to have..
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:55 PM
Jan 6

Thanks for the nice tribute, I'll bet she would like it.

Niagara

(9,997 posts)
46. Rest in Paradise, Elessar Zappa's Uno playing Grandmother
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 05:21 PM
Jan 6

Sounds like there were wonderful memories at hand here!


ShazzieB

(19,085 posts)
47. My sister was in hospice care when she passed away almost a year ago due to kidney failure.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 05:47 PM
Jan 6

One thing I didn't know about hospice is that they don't just care for the dying person; they also care for the dying person's loved ones. The hospice that handled my sister's care at the end has sent me things in the mail all this past year about coping with loss and grief. The most recent one was a poem that I found very moving. This is the first time I'm sharing it with someone, but it won't be the last.

‐-------------------------------------------------
ON THOSE DAYS

On those says
When you miss someone the
most

as though your memories
are sharp enough
to slice through skin and bone

remember how they loved you.

Remember how they loved you
and do that
for yourself.

In their name
in their honour.
Love yourself
as they loved you.

They would love that.

On those days
when you miss someone
the most
love yourself harder.

Donna Ashworth
‐-------------------------------------------------

I'm still in the process of learning how to do this, but every time I try, it helps.

Fla Dem

(26,042 posts)
49. I'm so sorry for you.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 05:54 PM
Jan 6

Losing a Grandmother that was so much of your life is truly sorrowful. As time goes on you'll reflect on her with much love and joy.

Marthe48

(19,623 posts)
51. I hope my grand kids remember me with such affection
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 06:39 PM
Jan 6

I'm glad you had a loving Grandma. Condolences.

choie

(4,813 posts)
53. I'm so sorry Elessar
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 06:41 PM
Jan 6

It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. Please accept my condolences.

calimary

(84,860 posts)
56. She'd want you to take good care of yourself, especially now.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 07:26 PM
Jan 6

Do it for her and in her honor. You know she’ll be watching, cuz she’ll be watching over you EVERY day now. From “the balcony seat”.

Elessar Zappa

(16,228 posts)
60. Thank you all for your kind responses.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 11:18 PM
Jan 6

I showed my mom the thread and she got teary eyed by the idea that strangers are showing so much care.

Thank you all!

summer_in_TX

(3,365 posts)
61. I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, Elessar.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 11:32 PM
Jan 6

Like other energies, love never dies.

In my imagination at least, my parents as have just stepped into another room. They aren't far from me. I don't get to spend time with them in person now, only visit in my memories.

You have a lifetime of wonderful memories, it sounds like. I can tell she loved you very much. You were blessed to have her.

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