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Elessar Zappa

(16,330 posts)
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:04 PM Jan 2025

Good vibes requested. My grandmother is dying. Update: She passed away :(

She’s 91 and is in a nursing home. No known cause of decline other than old age. She’s in a coma-like state and sleeping deeply. Her hands are still warm but she’s been without fluid for four days now. I imagine it’s not long before she passes.

She was a great grandmother. We had a tradition of playing the card game Uno since I was 5, up to a few years ago (I’m 41 now). She would read the Beverly Cleary books and Laura Ingalls Wilder books to me before I could read. When I visited she always had my favorite cereal Cocoa Pebbles and Juicy Juice fruit juice.

Update: As I’m writing this post, I received the call that she passed away. RIP Grandma, I love you.

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Good vibes requested. My grandmother is dying. Update: She passed away :( (Original Post) Elessar Zappa Jan 2025 OP
Please accept my condolences. And God bless all people who read to children. Walleye Jan 2025 #1
So sorry for her passing. a kennedy Jan 2025 #2
She will live on with you by your acts of doing good deeds for your family, friends, co workers, and the planet Botany Jan 2025 #3
My sympathy on the loss of your Grandma. May the livetohike Jan 2025 #4
I'm very sorry for the loss of your dear Grandmother. LuckyCharms Jan 2025 #5
So sorry Elessar Zappa. May her memories be a blessing to you. debm55 Jan 2025 #6
My deepest sympathy. sinkingfeeling Jan 2025 #7
Sending love to you and your Grandmother. Hope22 Jan 2025 #8
So sorry to hear of your loss. Lonestarblue Jan 2025 #9
What a wonderful person! yardwork Jan 2025 #10
I'm so sorry. StarryNite Jan 2025 #11
heartfelt condolences to you orleans Jan 2025 #12
I'm sorry XanaDUer2 Jan 2025 #13
So sorry! tavernier Jan 2025 #14
I am sorry for the loss of your dear Grandma. pandr32 Jan 2025 #15
Sorry for your loss KT2000 Jan 2025 #16
This message was self-deleted by its author onecaliberal Jan 2025 #17
I'm so sorry. I hope thoughts of her bring you some comfort. chowder66 Jan 2025 #18
I'm very sorry for your loss. Our Grands are very special brer cat Jan 2025 #19
My Deepest Sympathy Rob_70 Jan 2025 #20
Deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved grandmother. virgdem Jan 2025 #21
I HOPE that you have THIS to look forward to. There rarely is a day that my maternal grandmother isn't here with me..... usaf-vet Jan 2025 #22
A nice, nice memory!! SWBTATTReg Jan 2025 #48
Your Grandma Clouds Passing Jan 2025 #23
My sympathy and empathy to you, Elessar... slightlv Jan 2025 #24
I am sorry for your loss JoseBalow Jan 2025 #25
May she rest in peace. elleng Jan 2025 #26
May your Grandma Rest in Peace and May her Memory be a Blessing. n/t. iluvtennis Jan 2025 #27
Deepest condolences SheltieLover Jan 2025 #28
aw hun, my deep condolences... FirstLight Jan 2025 #29
My condolences LostOne4Ever Jan 2025 #30
91 is a good long life TexasBushwhacker Jan 2025 #31
I'm.... JoeOtterbein Jan 2025 #32
I am so sorry for your loss. HeartsCanHope Jan 2025 #33
I am so sorry... Trueblue Texan Jan 2025 #34
Rest In Peace mokeyz Jan 2025 #35
Condolences to you nt spooky3 Jan 2025 #36
Peace to you and your family. Magoo48 Jan 2025 #37
My (maternal) grandmother was my favorite relative. mahatmakanejeeves Jan 2025 #38
Prayers to you and your family. Unladen Swallow Jan 2025 #39
I'm so sorry for your loss Luciferous Jan 2025 #40
Sounds like the Grandmother everyone would like to have.. Permanut Jan 2025 #41
Sounds like she went peacefully. TNNurse Jan 2025 #42
May Her Memory Be A Blessing Deep State Witch Jan 2025 #43
Sending good vibes malaise Jan 2025 #44
"" AllaN01Bear Jan 2025 #45
Rest in Paradise, Elessar Zappa's Uno playing Grandmother Niagara Jan 2025 #46
My sister was in hospice care when she passed away almost a year ago due to kidney failure. ShazzieB Jan 2025 #47
I'm so sorry for you. Fla Dem Jan 2025 #49
🌸 Donkees Jan 2025 #50
I hope my grand kids remember me with such affection Marthe48 Jan 2025 #51
Sending kind thoughts to you and all your Grandma's loved ones. MLAA Jan 2025 #52
I'm so sorry Elessar choie Jan 2025 #53
I'm so sorry, Elessar. skylucy Jan 2025 #54
Condolences blueseas Jan 2025 #55
She'd want you to take good care of yourself, especially now. calimary Jan 2025 #56
So sorry for your loss LA Blue Bengal Jan 2025 #57
Kick debm55 Jan 2025 #58
I'm so sorry for your loss. area51 Jan 2025 #59
Thank you all for your kind responses. Elessar Zappa Jan 2025 #60
I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, Elessar. summer_in_TX Jan 2025 #61
She has your love. SleeplessinSoCal Jan 2025 #62
Condolences, Elessar gademocrat7 Jan 2025 #63
So sorry... CaptainTruth Jan 2025 #64

Botany

(74,090 posts)
3. She will live on with you by your acts of doing good deeds for your family, friends, co workers, and the planet
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:08 PM
Jan 2025


livetohike

(23,407 posts)
4. My sympathy on the loss of your Grandma. May the
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:10 PM
Jan 2025

love she gave you and every happy memory bring you comfort and always make you smile .

Hope22

(3,943 posts)
8. Sending love to you and your Grandmother.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:23 PM
Jan 2025

My heart goes out to you. Grandmas are magic. She will always be with you. Peace and love to you. 💗🙏🏼

yardwork

(66,563 posts)
10. What a wonderful person!
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:27 PM
Jan 2025

I'm glad that her passing was peaceful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

pandr32

(12,948 posts)
15. I am sorry for the loss of your dear Grandma.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:36 PM
Jan 2025

It is never easy.
Keep her with you by going over the memories you shared often. Mine still warm me after many years.

Response to Elessar Zappa (Original post)

brer cat

(26,922 posts)
19. I'm very sorry for your loss. Our Grands are very special
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:45 PM
Jan 2025

and it hurts terribly when they are gone. I hope your memories will bring you comfort.

virgdem

(2,255 posts)
21. Deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved grandmother.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 01:56 PM
Jan 2025

Cherish the memories of all the good times .

usaf-vet

(7,481 posts)
22. I HOPE that you have THIS to look forward to. There rarely is a day that my maternal grandmother isn't here with me.....
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:02 PM
Jan 2025

Let me explain. As time passes, the pain and sadness of her loss will hopefully be replaced by one or two great moments you remember about her.

In my case, one or maybe both of my key moments were when I spent days with her while my parents worked.

Often, I was dropped off before I had breakfast. So, my key "spark of memory" was because of breakfast. She never had an electric or gas stove. She cooked on a wood-fired cast iron-top stove. So often, she would make toast for me as part of breakfast. Because she also didn't have an electric toaster, she made a toast on the stovetop. Without the benefit of a timer to stop the cooking, my toast, more often than not, was burned at least on one side. She would then butter it or scrape the burnt away into the sink. So either way, I had burnt toast. It became the everyday way of what toast was.

When I got married, and we had all the cooking advantages, my wife was cooking breakfast one day early in our marriage, and the toast burned. I do not know how, but when she brought it to the table, she said, "I'm sorry, but the toast is burnt. Should I make another piece?" Before I could answer the question, tears flowed from my eyes and ran down my cheeks......

She asked if I was alright. I smiled through the tears and said Gramma L. is cooking this morning! Now, 55, married years later, I still eat burnt toast or almost anything because my wife warns me Gramma L. is cooking. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes as I write this.

I love you, Gramma!

I HOPE you will find the one or two sparks of memory of your grandmother that remain with you each time "your burnt toast" appears.

I won't tell a long tale about two other "sparks," but they are smells. One is the smell is of a seasoning, and the other is the smell of 3 in 1 machine oil.

slightlv

(5,490 posts)
24. My sympathy and empathy to you, Elessar...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:16 PM
Jan 2025

My Mom died on Friday. It is SO hard to handle the emotions and trying to figure out everything that has to be done. One of the greatest things said to me was to slow down and just let things be. Try to be gentle with yourself, and lose yourself in the good times you and your grandmother had. As I go through the arrangements and stuff here on my end, I'll be sending out warm, healing thoughts to you, as well.

SheltieLover

(67,758 posts)
28. Deepest condolences
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:26 PM
Jan 2025

May your heart be filled with warm memories that bring smiles to your face.



FirstLight

(15,071 posts)
29. aw hun, my deep condolences...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:37 PM
Jan 2025

I know my kids were profoundly affected by the passing of my Parents. They were like secondary parents as I was a single mom.

Blessed memories and let those tears flow. Glad she went gently and easily. I'm sure she's happily reuniting with others :hugs:

TexasBushwhacker

(20,885 posts)
31. 91 is a good long life
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:45 PM
Jan 2025

I have an aunt who is 96 and has been in assisted living for over 20 years. She also has grandchildren and great grandchildren, but she's ready to call it a day. Her husband died 15 years ago and her younger sister, my mother, died 21 years ago. She is the last of her generation in our family. I will miss her.

HeartsCanHope

(1,015 posts)
33. I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 02:57 PM
Jan 2025

Please accept my deepest condolences. I'll be thinking of you and your family. Take care.

Trueblue Texan

(3,325 posts)
34. I am so sorry...
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 03:02 PM
Jan 2025

Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of your grandma. I know your heart is aching. Peace and healing to you, Elessar.

mokeyz

(74 posts)
35. Rest In Peace
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 03:07 PM
Jan 2025

to your sweet grandmother may her memory be a blessing. hugs to you and her loved ones.💙

mahatmakanejeeves

(64,583 posts)
38. My (maternal) grandmother was my favorite relative.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 03:36 PM
Jan 2025

I got along with her better than any other relative.

It hurts.

Permanut

(7,082 posts)
41. Sounds like the Grandmother everyone would like to have..
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 03:55 PM
Jan 2025

Thanks for the nice tribute, I'll bet she would like it.

Niagara

(10,586 posts)
46. Rest in Paradise, Elessar Zappa's Uno playing Grandmother
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 06:21 PM
Jan 2025

Sounds like there were wonderful memories at hand here!


ShazzieB

(20,580 posts)
47. My sister was in hospice care when she passed away almost a year ago due to kidney failure.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 06:47 PM
Jan 2025

One thing I didn't know about hospice is that they don't just care for the dying person; they also care for the dying person's loved ones. The hospice that handled my sister's care at the end has sent me things in the mail all this past year about coping with loss and grief. The most recent one was a poem that I found very moving. This is the first time I'm sharing it with someone, but it won't be the last.

‐-------------------------------------------------
ON THOSE DAYS

On those says
When you miss someone the
most

as though your memories
are sharp enough
to slice through skin and bone

remember how they loved you.

Remember how they loved you
and do that
for yourself.

In their name
in their honour.
Love yourself
as they loved you.

They would love that.

On those days
when you miss someone
the most
love yourself harder.

Donna Ashworth
‐-------------------------------------------------

I'm still in the process of learning how to do this, but every time I try, it helps.

Fla Dem

(26,650 posts)
49. I'm so sorry for you.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 06:54 PM
Jan 2025

Losing a Grandmother that was so much of your life is truly sorrowful. As time goes on you'll reflect on her with much love and joy.

Marthe48

(20,599 posts)
51. I hope my grand kids remember me with such affection
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 07:39 PM
Jan 2025

I'm glad you had a loving Grandma. Condolences.

choie

(5,426 posts)
53. I'm so sorry Elessar
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 07:41 PM
Jan 2025

It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. Please accept my condolences.

calimary

(86,219 posts)
56. She'd want you to take good care of yourself, especially now.
Mon Jan 6, 2025, 08:26 PM
Jan 2025

Do it for her and in her honor. You know she’ll be watching, cuz she’ll be watching over you EVERY day now. From “the balcony seat”.

Elessar Zappa

(16,330 posts)
60. Thank you all for your kind responses.
Tue Jan 7, 2025, 12:18 AM
Jan 2025

I showed my mom the thread and she got teary eyed by the idea that strangers are showing so much care.

Thank you all!

summer_in_TX

(3,578 posts)
61. I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, Elessar.
Tue Jan 7, 2025, 12:32 AM
Jan 2025

Like other energies, love never dies.

In my imagination at least, my parents as have just stepped into another room. They aren't far from me. I don't get to spend time with them in person now, only visit in my memories.

You have a lifetime of wonderful memories, it sounds like. I can tell she loved you very much. You were blessed to have her.

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