The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsGood vibes requested. My grandmother is dying. Update: She passed away :(
She’s 91 and is in a nursing home. No known cause of decline other than old age. She’s in a coma-like state and sleeping deeply. Her hands are still warm but she’s been without fluid for four days now. I imagine it’s not long before she passes.
She was a great grandmother. We had a tradition of playing the card game Uno since I was 5, up to a few years ago (I’m 41 now). She would read the Beverly Cleary books and Laura Ingalls Wilder books to me before I could read. When I visited she always had my favorite cereal Cocoa Pebbles and Juicy Juice fruit juice.
Update: As I’m writing this post, I received the call that she passed away. RIP Grandma, I love you.

Walleye
(39,289 posts)
a kennedy
(33,200 posts)

Botany
(73,724 posts)
livetohike
(23,361 posts)love she gave you and every happy memory bring you comfort and always make you smile .
LuckyCharms
(19,870 posts)debm55
(43,933 posts)
sinkingfeeling
(54,857 posts)Hope22
(3,824 posts)My heart goes out to you. Grandmas are magic. She will always be with you. Peace and love to you. 💗🙏🏼
Lonestarblue
(12,512 posts)yardwork
(66,055 posts)I'm glad that her passing was peaceful. I'm so sorry for your loss.
StarryNite
(11,471 posts)
orleans
(35,846 posts)
XanaDUer2
(15,714 posts)My condolences. Holding you all in light.
tavernier
(13,601 posts)I’m very close to my grandson.
You brought tears to my eyes.
pandr32
(12,802 posts)It is never easy.
Keep her with you by going over the memories you shared often. Mine still warm me after many years.
KT2000
(21,317 posts)This was a sweet tribute to her. Peace to you.
Response to Elessar Zappa (Original post)
onecaliberal This message was self-deleted by its author.
chowder66
(10,308 posts)brer cat
(26,886 posts)and it hurts terribly when they are gone. I hope your memories will bring you comfort.
Rob_70
(11 posts)I'm so glad you had her as long as you did. 💕
virgdem
(2,246 posts)Cherish the memories of all the good times .
usaf-vet
(7,419 posts)Let me explain. As time passes, the pain and sadness of her loss will hopefully be replaced by one or two great moments you remember about her.
In my case, one or maybe both of my key moments were when I spent days with her while my parents worked.
Often, I was dropped off before I had breakfast. So, my key "spark of memory" was because of breakfast. She never had an electric or gas stove. She cooked on a wood-fired cast iron-top stove. So often, she would make toast for me as part of breakfast. Because she also didn't have an electric toaster, she made a toast on the stovetop. Without the benefit of a timer to stop the cooking, my toast, more often than not, was burned at least on one side. She would then butter it or scrape the burnt away into the sink. So either way, I had burnt toast. It became the everyday way of what toast was.
When I got married, and we had all the cooking advantages, my wife was cooking breakfast one day early in our marriage, and the toast burned. I do not know how, but when she brought it to the table, she said, "I'm sorry, but the toast is burnt. Should I make another piece?" Before I could answer the question, tears flowed from my eyes and ran down my cheeks......
She asked if I was alright. I smiled through the tears and said Gramma L. is cooking this morning! Now, 55, married years later, I still eat burnt toast or almost anything because my wife warns me Gramma L. is cooking. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes as I write this.
I love you, Gramma!
I HOPE you will find the one or two sparks of memory of your grandmother that remain with you each time "your burnt toast" appears.
I won't tell a long tale about two other "sparks," but they are smells. One is the smell is of a seasoning, and the other is the smell of 3 in 1 machine oil.
SWBTATTReg
(25,088 posts)Clouds Passing
(4,257 posts)
slightlv
(5,254 posts)My Mom died on Friday. It is SO hard to handle the emotions and trying to figure out everything that has to be done. One of the greatest things said to me was to slow down and just let things be. Try to be gentle with yourself, and lose yourself in the good times you and your grandmother had. As I go through the arrangements and stuff here on my end, I'll be sending out warm, healing thoughts to you, as well.
JoseBalow
(7,124 posts)
elleng
(139,056 posts)iluvtennis
(21,118 posts)SheltieLover
(65,823 posts)May your heart be filled with warm memories that bring smiles to your face.
FirstLight
(14,835 posts)I know my kids were profoundly affected by the passing of my Parents. They were like secondary parents as I was a single mom.
Blessed memories and let those tears flow. Glad she went gently and easily. I'm sure she's happily reuniting with others :hugs:
LostOne4Ever
(9,638 posts)May you take comfort in your memories of her and the UNO games you played.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,868 posts)I have an aunt who is 96 and has been in assisted living for over 20 years. She also has grandchildren and great grandchildren, but she's ready to call it a day. Her husband died 15 years ago and her younger sister, my mother, died 21 years ago. She is the last of her generation in our family. I will miss her.
JoeOtterbein
(7,821 posts)....sorry.
(tears)
HeartsCanHope
(936 posts)Please accept my deepest condolences. I'll be thinking of you and your family. Take care.
Trueblue Texan
(3,255 posts)Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of your grandma. I know your heart is aching. Peace and healing to you, Elessar.
mokeyz
(71 posts)to your sweet grandmother may her memory be a blessing. hugs to you and her loved ones.💙
spooky3
(37,280 posts)Magoo48
(6,147 posts)mahatmakanejeeves
(64,044 posts)I got along with her better than any other relative.
It hurts.
Unladen Swallow
(491 posts)May God bless your Grandmother and each of you.
Luciferous
(6,400 posts)Permanut
(6,930 posts)Thanks for the nice tribute, I'll bet she would like it.
TNNurse
(7,294 posts)How appropriate at her age. Thinking of you.
Deep State Witch
(11,687 posts)She sounds like a wonderful grandmother.
malaise
(282,541 posts)
AllaN01Bear
(24,584 posts)

Niagara
(10,420 posts)Sounds like there were wonderful memories at hand here!
ShazzieB
(20,076 posts)One thing I didn't know about hospice is that they don't just care for the dying person; they also care for the dying person's loved ones. The hospice that handled my sister's care at the end has sent me things in the mail all this past year about coping with loss and grief. The most recent one was a poem that I found very moving. This is the first time I'm sharing it with someone, but it won't be the last.
‐-------------------------------------------------
ON THOSE DAYS
On those says
When you miss someone the
most
as though your memories
are sharp enough
to slice through skin and bone
remember how they loved you.
Remember how they loved you
and do that
for yourself.
In their name
in their honour.
Love yourself
as they loved you.
They would love that.
On those days
when you miss someone
the most
love yourself harder.
Donna Ashworth
‐-------------------------------------------------
I'm still in the process of learning how to do this, but every time I try, it helps.
Fla Dem
(26,440 posts)Losing a Grandmother that was so much of your life is truly sorrowful. As time goes on you'll reflect on her with much love and joy.

Marthe48
(20,380 posts)I'm glad you had a loving Grandma. Condolences.
MLAA
(19,065 posts)🩷
choie
(5,299 posts)It sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. Please accept my condolences.
skylucy
(3,919 posts)

blueseas
(11,708 posts)Sorry
calimary
(85,715 posts)Do it for her and in her honor. You know she’ll be watching, cuz she’ll be watching over you EVERY day now. From “the balcony seat”.
LA Blue Bengal
(36 posts)Sounds like you were lucky to have her
debm55
(43,933 posts)area51
(12,269 posts)
Elessar Zappa
(16,318 posts)I showed my mom the thread and she got teary eyed by the idea that strangers are showing so much care.
Thank you all!
summer_in_TX
(3,524 posts)Like other energies, love never dies.
In my imagination at least, my parents as have just stepped into another room. They aren't far from me. I don't get to spend time with them in person now, only visit in my memories.
You have a lifetime of wonderful memories, it sounds like. I can tell she loved you very much. You were blessed to have her.
SleeplessinSoCal
(10,009 posts)You must have always been a great comfort to her.
gademocrat7
(11,385 posts)on the loss of your beloved grandmother.
CaptainTruth
(7,517 posts)