Home from the hospital. 7 days I think.
This infection still isn't showing me much mercy, and the hospital visit itself left me with a bit of trauma.
Basically got no sleep for two reasons:
1) Bloodwork seemingly every two hours, or IV change. Could never sleep.
2) Very sick people on my floor.
It's kind of strange that my woman neighbor has basically the same GI symptoms I do, and we are both feeling the same way in that we both feel that there is not actually an infection going on, but something worse that they are not finding, because neither one of us is getting completely cured. She came to visit me twice.
I had a continuous antibiotic IV drip while inpatient. I'm on oral meds now for for 14 days with a different antibiotic. I see an infectious disease doctor next week.
They shot every pain med in the world through my IV, except that I can't take NSAIDS, so they alternated infusions of fentanyl, morphine, plain oxy, and Tylenol.
I had an emotional breakdown in the hospital. The guy next to me in my room was in so much agony that he screamed and cried constantly. They had me as a fall risk, when I was not actually a fall risk, and they had the bed alarm set so sensitive that it would go off even when I sat on the side of the bed to try to use the portable urinal. So every time I had to piss, I had to call a nurse to be escorted to the shitty bathroom shared with the next room.
In the middle of the night, the older man next to me was in so much agony that I got out of bed with all of the bed alarms going off, went to the other side of the curtain, and held his hand and caressed his forehead. Then I went back to bed and sobbed, muffling my crying by sticking my face in the pillow. All this time, every fucking IV alarm, bed alarm, and whatever alarm was going off on the floor in the middle of the night. Grown men and women were crying and screaming in pain. All day, all night. Absolutely HOWLING in pain. It was my definition of being in hell.
While I was having my breakdown, a wonderful travelling nurse came in and sat with me for an hour and held my hand. I told her my life story, and she told me hers. I told her that my realization is that people cannot get true pain relief unless they are actively dying because if you give them enough morphine to kill their pain, they will die. She confirmed this, and said she completely breaks down at home after her shift about twice a week.
I'm starting to come out of my opiate haze at home, but I'm still not good emotionally, and I still have pain. I can't stop crying. I fall asleep when sitting at my computer, and I basically can't do a fucking thing. And it's pissing me off. I'm an active person, and now I either watch reruns on TV land, sit at the computer, or just about fall asleep while standing up.
I hope these oral antibiotics finally knock this out. The hospitalist changed all of my fucking blood pressure meds based on one reading of a very low heart rate. Then he called in a prescription for a different dose of one blood pressure med that was totally different than what he told me to do. I wrote my primary care, who I see next week, and told her that I'm not changing ANY of my meds based on one reading that a hospitalist didn't like after talking to me for 30 seconds. Maybe he should have considered that I had enough opiates in me to knock down a fucking elephant, and that's why my heart rate dropped. I'm monitoring my blood pressure and heart rate at home twice a day since I'm sticking to my current meds, and all is doing ok there so far.
I'm not writing this to get responses, you people have already given me a ton of support, and I appreciate all of you. You helped me get through this, so no reason to keep offering well wishes. You people here are so good.
There are people here who are most likely a lot sicker than me, so please offer them your support, not me. You've given me plenty.
I needed to get this off my chest.
I don't know how you nurses fucking cope. I really don't. You're angels. I couldn't do it. I don't have what it takes to do that job.
= new reply since forum marked as read
just 
will think of you as I look out for friends and neighbors
I’m sorry you have been going through this. Despite your own illness, your kindness showed bright with your treatment of the man next to you. Thank you for comforting him.
Hoping you feel better soon!
I was in the hospital a few years ago. I needed to get my gallbladder taken out. I had the surgery done and had to stay over night in the hospital. Most of the floor was empty, but for some reason they decided to put some old man in the same room as me. Every 10 minutes the guy set off some alarm or other. At about 2am he got up and just left the hospital and went home. The police were looking for him and they decided to have a nice long conversation in my room! The next day the doctor gave me shit about not getting out of bed and walking around. I did what the doc needed me to do so he could release me. That meant I had to cut off the opiates earlier than I wanted to, but I wanted to get out of there more than anything else. I know my experience wasn't nearly as bad as yours, but I can relate. Anyway, like I said before, I hope you get better soon!
I hope these meds kick out what's dogging you.
it sucks being sick, it really does. Did they tell you what bug you have??
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Maybe they are missing something. Look at Dr. Fauci and his "West Nile Virus Nightmare". I'm not saying that's what you might have but just the fact that sometimes, probably many times things are not what we first think they are. The body is complicated. It seems like there are so many different things out to get us. Hang in there! 
Welcome back to the world outside those hospital walls, Lucky.
Given the state of things I'm not sure it will offer any relief, or that living hell with another! At least you won't have to share a bathroom with vile bastards who lack any sense of hygienic consideration for others, and your socks won't be wicking up some asshole's piss!
Thanks for sharing the torments you've endured--and best of luck getting answers and a solution to the infection and pain 
It takes special heart to be a nurse, doctor, medical specialist. When they heal someone, that triumph heals them, too, so they can keep going.
Have you and the neighbor been tested for chemical contamination? Tested your water? Anything else you shared in common? Did you get sick at the same time?
Find a spot where you feel comfortable and safe, curl up and rest. Post as much as you want. There's enough love on DU to share with all who need it 
I'm glad to hear that you're home, Lucky.
Writing is excellent therapy so you keep at it when you need to get something off your chest.
We love you! Life is too short not to tell people that.
to knock the hell out of your infection! In the meantime, please be sure to wear your HAZMAT suit when visiting the Lounge!
Welcome back, you little charmer, you!
