"You left your blankie on a government jet, so your special employee Corey stepped forward to fire the pilot, midair"

[Miles Archer]

"And while you make a daily mockery of our courts and our Constitution, you're treating the billions of dollars our colleagues showered on your department like a personal slush fund. You budgeted an astonishing $220 million for media consultant contracts so you can star in self-promoting photo shoots," he continued. "You're living rent-free in the official waterfront residence reserved for the commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard."

"You spent $172 million to buy not one, but two luxury jets for your travel, and now you're using taxpayer funds to lease a third jet, a $70 million luxury 737 Max, with a queen-sized bedroom in the back, a deluxe serving bar, and four flat-screen TVs."

"Apparently, when your special blanket, your blankie, was left on one of the government jets and not transported over to the new one, your special government employee, Corey Lewandowski, chivalrously stepped forward to fire the pilot, midair, a 2003 Coast Guard Academy graduate and distinguished U.S. Coast Guard commander," he noted. "But then he had to be rehired immediately because there was no one else who could fly the two of you on the rest of the journey back home."

"Secretary Noem, you're flying high now, maybe even a little bit too close to the sun," Raskin added. "But with all these free planes and houses and pilots, you've traveled a long distance from your actual job and the things you should be doing as head of Homeland Security."

https://www.rawstory.com/kristi-noem-special-blanket/

[deminks]

1. Righteous! Nailed it.

And got it in the record.

[AllaN01Bear]

21. ding. this .

[leftstreet]

2. The blanket probably had...you know, "evidence"

just sayin

[PufPuf23]

30. Corey-Noem DNA is where my lower mind went too.

Get that blankie to FBI Quantico for analysis.

Yuck.

[Wicked Blue]

3. I LOVE Jamie Raskin

This congressman has such a razor-sharp way with words.

[efhmc]

4. Why was she hired in the first place?

[Ray Bruns]

8. She does what Trump wants.

[PatSeg]

16. And she has Mar-a-lago face

She fits right in.

[lastlib]

18. "Mar-A-Lago Lips"?

That attach so tightly to the tRump?

[PatSeg]

20. Ha, ha!

When I saw her in a congressional hearing, I found myself wondering how long did it take to put on all that makeup. Then comes the long process of removing all of it! Someone should tell her that often "less is more".

I've seen mannequins that look more natural.

[lastlib]

25. She really looks like she's made of plastic.

Maybe Bruce Springsteen's term applies: "Silicone sister"......

[PatSeg]

27. And with acrylic hair

The lack of self-awareness is stunning, which is also the same with Trump. It sets them up for understandable ridicule.

That kind of makeup is usually reserved for a photo shoot, a stage play, or a motion picture, not real life. She apparently thinks she is a movie star - "I'm ready for my closeup".

[Wednesdays]

28. Tammy Faye Bakker acolyte. nt

[PatSeg]

29. Oh, I'd forgotten about Tammy Faye

She would get weepy over something and her eye makeup would run.

Kristi looks like she has to take off her makeup with a spatula.

[Amaryllis]

23. Yep. Loyalty. Same reason they all were hired.

[33taw]

9. The People of South Dakota

[Prof. P.E. Name]

5. Zucker Bros. "Airplane" Scene

Isn't this Kristi/Corey scene just a little like the Zucker Brothers spoof: firing the pilot mid-flight?

Are some human beings that stupid?

Then we get into philosophy questions: Are MAGATS human beings; what qualifies as Stupid; are MAGATS and Stupid actually synonyms in the taxonomy sense?

[AverageOldGuy]

6. He left out . . .

. . . "And on top of all that stupid shit, you shoot puppies. I yield the rest of my time."

[TheRickles]

7. It's a brilliant put-down, but it won't have any discernible effect on how this Gov't operates.

Until a few R's grow a spine, or resign for medical reasons (or to spend more time with their families), not much is going to change.

[cojoel]

10. If only that pilot had a parachute and left the plane when he was fired...

the world might be a better place today.

[Permanut]

12. Makes perfect sense..

When you're fired, you leave the workplace immediately, right?

[Bengus81]

13. Yeah..and the OTHER pilot would have told that DIPSHIT that legally I can't fly this

aircraft alone.

[colorado_ufo]

11. Didn't she used to have children?

[Bengus81]

14. When does Mr. Puppykiller file for divorce?

[jmowreader]

15. If that would have happened to me, I'd have been like...okay!

I'd find the first general aviation airport with enough runway to deal with a 737 and set it down. "I understand this airport is 40 miles from nowhere and the nearest hotel is a Motel 6 25 miles past that, but it's illegal for me to fly an airliner after I've been fired from its owner so...here you are. Enjoy Minnesota."

[lastlib]

17. "...a little bit too close to the sun."....

So do we make a new nickname for her? "ICK- arus"? (Or, maybe closer to truth, "ICK--a RUSSKY"?....)

[Blue Owl]

31. ...on her wings of racism and hatred....

[Botany]

19. Blankie really means Noem on the Range's sex toys.

You just know that Kristi plays back door cowboy with Corey.

[AllaN01Bear]

22. ding . this .

[GiqueCee]

24. After that flaying...

... I doubt there was anything left but hair extensions!
But her kind of incompetence is just what that vindictive sonofabitch, Trumpty-Dumpty, wanted in his cabinet. America failed to bend the knee, kiss his smelly ass, and reelect him in 2020, so he's gonna burn the country to the ground. That's a win-win for him; he gets his vengeance, and avoids defenestration by Pootie-poot.
Goddammit, I hate that evil fuck. He destroys everything he touches. And every Republican Satan ever shat out is going to wear the Scarlet Letter "T" for the rest of their worthless lives.

[Tikki]

26. Didn't that tillis guy say noem was a farmer? I wonder if she got government farm bailout money!

Tikki