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groundloop

(13,556 posts) Thu Dec 25, 2025, 09:30 AM 2 hrs ago

Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/bari-weiss-declares-cbs-will-have

At a tense all-hands meeting on Wednesday, editor-in-chief Bari Weiss announced that, going forward, CBS News will institute a zero-tolerance policy towards news.

“Someone tried to slip some news into this past Sunday’s episode of ‘60 Minutes,’” a visibly angry Weiss told the gathering. “Fortunately, I was able to catch it in time.”

She reminded the newsroom that “as journalists, we all answer to a higher master: David Ellison.”

Next Sunday, CBS will air the first Weiss-edited episode of “60 Minutes,” now called “4 Minutes.”

3 replies

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Bari Weiss Declares CBS Will Have Zero Tolerance for News (Original Post) groundloop 2 hrs ago OP

That's really cherrypicking, Borowitz. Story that writes itself! /nt bucolic_frolic 2 hrs ago #1

HAHA! Is this really fiction? Smells more like TRUTH! Jack Valentino 1 hr ago #2

So damn hard to differentiate now.. Escape 3 min ago #3

bucolic_frolic

(53,814 posts)

1. That's really cherrypicking, Borowitz. Story that writes itself! /nt

Reply to groundloop (Original post)

Thu Dec 25, 2025, 09:52 AM

2 hrs ago

Jack Valentino

(4,265 posts)

2. HAHA! Is this really fiction? Smells more like TRUTH!

Reply to groundloop (Original post)

Thu Dec 25, 2025, 09:57 AM

1 hr ago

Hope the ghost of Walter Cronkite visited her last night....!

Escape

(369 posts)

3. So damn hard to differentiate now..

Reply to groundloop (Original post)

Thu Dec 25, 2025, 11:51 AM

3 min ago

..between reality and fiction.

Borowitz is a genius and his work is perfectly pertinent for this particularly weird time in history.

He makes us laugh when we feel like crying.

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