Notorious Doggie gang member loses fight with 15 year old girl and boy

[struggle4progress]

According to reports, high ranking Doggie [DOGE] gang member Edward "Big Balls" Coristine was saved from serious injury by DC police after engaging in a chaotic melee with a 15 year old girl and boy on Sunday 3 August

Mr Coristine first became known to the public earlier this year when he (together with other Doggie gang members) were terrorizing DC with acts of random vandalism

Although exact details of Coristine's fight with the with 15 year old girl and boy are still unknown, some people suspect Coristine may have told the children they should not mess with him because "I'm Big Balls" before they explained "FAFO!" and knocked him down. Fortunately for Coristine, DC police stopped the altercation before he was seriously injured and they promptly arrested the two children involved

Criminal overlord and convicted felon, Crazy Old Don, was very disturbed to learn that DC police were so prepared to stop such activities and he promptly announced new criminal initiatives to reduce the effectiveness of law enforcement in the city

[jls4561]

1. I will repeat myself - his new screen name should be Neutricles.

https://neuticles.com/

[peggysue2]

2. I've read two versions of this story

One is what is presented here: the assault on Big Balls were two 15-year old kids.

The other version was a group of ten teenagers punched and kicked the shit out of Big Balls until the police intervened and the kids scattered.

Hummmm. Which is accurate?

[EdmondDantes_]

4. The coverage says the police report noted a larger group

https://www.wired.com/story/edward-coristine-big-balls-assaulted-alleged-carjacking/

"According to the police report, officers patrolling the area of the alleged crime “observed a group of approximately 10 juveniles surrounding the complainants’ vehicle,” before allegedly assaulting one of the two victims."

Doesn't specify how many hit him, but from a distance that's probably not something the cops could have seen. It makes sense only two would be detained because two cops in a car, if the attackers split up, only two could be caught.

[Prairie Gates]

8. The two who were caught didn't flee at all or only did so half-heartedly

It's as simple as that, and it usually is.

[Vinca]

3. That's "Big Balls??" I would have guessed "No Balls."

[Midnight Writer]

5. It's getting so a teenage boy can't even troll for teenage hookers at 3AM in Dupont Circle

without getting into a fight.

Call out the Guard, the Marines, the Space Force! Round up the homeless, the immigrants, the poor!

Make America Save For Big Balls Again!

[SoFlaBro]

6. Looks like someone tuned his ass up real NICE! FAFO, you MAGA fuckstain!

[EdmondDantes_]

9. Really? You think being the victim of a crime is appropriate?

[sarisataka]

15. We are against violence

Until we are not.

[SoFlaBro]

19. When a MAGA fuckstain provokes and threatens, we have the right to defend ourselves. MAGA gets tuned the fuck up always.

[JustAnotherGen]

14. I think it's

Temperature paint.

Also ignore the goody goody gum drops.

[Prairie Gates]

7. He was jumped by ten people...only two of them hung around for the cops

That was the two 15 year-olds.

This is really a dumb narrative to hang one's hat on.

That said, I doubt very much that this was an attempted car jacking. So, there's lies and exaggeration on all sides here.

[struggle4progress]

16. Yeah, well, I'm not sure why, if DC police saved him from ten people attacking him,

we need Trump to take over the DC police and send in the National Guard, or how THAT story justifies giving him the Medal of Freedom

He doesn't seem to have been badly hurt: ... Emergency medical services did not transport anybody as part of the incident, D.C. Fire and EMS told CBS News ...

The photo was taken by another Doggie gang member: ... Marko Elez ... added: "I took this photo ..."...

[Prairie Gates]

17. No argument with any of that

Using this extremely minor incident as a pretext for the fascist take-over of DC is completely insane.

[sinkingfeeling]

10. Looks like all he got was a bloodied nose.

[druidity33]

12. That he dribbled over his chest...

why was his shirt off?

[struggle4progress]

18. Because the photo was staged by another Doggie gang member?

[RedWhiteBlueIsRacist]

11. Would like to see the bank accounts of all involved here to check for recent large deposits.

[Norbert]

13. I still think the girl TKOed him.

Girls these days are less likely to tolerate a stud getting grabby