Trump Shaken but Upbeat After Secret Service Stops Gunman

[PJMcK]

This is the headline of a New York Times article. It begins with this sentence:

Former President Donald J. Trump was said to be shocked by what officials described as the second attempt on his life, but sought to reassure friends with humor.

After all the hateful things Trump has said, he’s shocked that someone might try to take him out?!

He’s an idiot.

[maxrandb]

1. I can tell he's lying by the use of the words "friends" and "humor"

[Ferrets are Cool]

2. Bastard wouldn't recognize "humor" if it hit him over the head...

or tried to assassinate him.

[BOSSHOG]

3. SOUGHT TO REASSURE FRIENDS

He has never done that and never will. He always has a scheme, a plan, something to sell. Reassure? Never. And trump has never had friends that he has not payed for.

Have we discovered which well regulated militia todays almost assassin belongs to?

[birdographer]

4. Errr...wasn't it found to be two yahoos shooting at each other

with no Donnie involvement at all?

[Blue Owl]

5. It was just going to be friendly NRA fire anyways